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skahthic
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14 Feb 2008, 12:07 am

I think I can cover this up pretty well under many circumstances--- either by avoiding the situation or by pretending to remember them. But it happens enough between my personal life and work to make me worry. I will meet someone and then totally forget who they are.
It happened at work today. I was in a room where a patient was and she and her husband were talking to me. I was in there a few minutes. But lo and behold, less than 10 minutes later, the man exits the room and starts talking to me, and I have no clue who this guy is. And this time I couldn't cover it or act like I knew--- I didn't recognize him at all! He reminded me that we had just spoken and then I was like "oh yeahhhhh..." ( but I only remembered the situation, not the people.). I feel stupid when people come up to me who obviously know me, but I don't know who they are. ( and yet, sometimes I'll remember a person... usually if they have something distinct about them, like a crazy hairdo or horrible teeth...). Does this happen to anyone else here, and what is one to do about jogging my memory when it comes to people?
I never forget a classic car I see--- if only people looked more like old cars.



Kalister1
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14 Feb 2008, 12:08 am

I find myself lost in thought much of the time. Maybe because I am so much more interesting than most people?



wsmac
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14 Feb 2008, 1:05 am

I don't have a problem when I forget patients... it's more the other employees at our small hospital where I've worked for five years.

Sometimes they look really familiar to me but I can't remember which department they work in or if they are new or old.

Forget names... we have bunches of Kim's, and Anne's, and a few others so I have just given up on trying to remember their names.

I don't remember if you've ever mentioned in what capacity you see patients/family, but if it's in an exam room, could you carry a post-it pad and when leaving the room jot down their names/complaint/issue and stick it to the door?
You could write it on the sticky side so patient information won't be visible.
This might work if you exit the room only to return in a very short time... if patient confidentiality concerns are there.

I have taken to using a PDA around work and at home.
I got mine for free from one of our E.R. docs... it's old and she has a new one.

Anyway, I find it is quick and easy to jot a note.
You could pop into the memo screen and jot down name-complaint-room #

Do you have a chart slot/hanger on the outside of the room?
Keeping a chart or again.. a piece of paper with the information you want to remember might help.

That's all I can think of right now.


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Bea
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14 Feb 2008, 1:08 am

I've heard that many people have a problem remembering faces. I don't have nearly the problem you do, but I usually need to meet someone two or three times before I can actually recognize them without prompting, or getting them confused with someone else. I think it's related to the same part of the brain that processes map reading, or recognizing places. I'm terrible at recognizing places I've been before. Maybe it's a problem with remembering a particular arrangement of features/landmarks. For twenty years we drove the same route to my parent's house -- a four hour drive. And there were always places where I had no clue which direction to turn. Well, I finally learned the route well enough that I could drive it with confidence. Then CalTrans showed up and changed everything around. Darn!



Denali
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14 Feb 2008, 1:21 am

I have this problem too. I have a really hard time remembering faces, and putting names to faces. I work at Wal-mart, and I have people come through my line talking to me like they've known me a long time -- and I feel bad because I can't remember them! Sometimes they'll even ask, do you remember me? It's really embarrassing to admit I don't! :oops: Usually it's people I went to high school with that I haven't seen in years, or people who know my mother or grandparents. I'm glad I'm not the only one this happens to.
For some reason though -- I have a real easy time remembering people's birthdays. Faces however are a different story.



hartzofspace
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14 Feb 2008, 1:26 am

I once spent nearly three weeks in hospital, and a week later, ran into this lady who acted glad to see me. To my disgrace, she had been in the hospital too, and I flat out didn't remember her! :oops:


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Heron
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14 Feb 2008, 1:36 am

This is all completely normal for a lot of Aspies. You might get to know someone in a particular place, say a shop worker, then you see them somewhere else and they are completely unrecognisable. It's to do with seeing them out of context, the shop worker has now become someone in the street, a totally different person.

I once had somebody come up to me on a bus who seemed to know me well. I was getting of at the next stop so we didn't have much of a conversation, TO THIS DAY I HAVE NO IDEA WHO IT WAS OR THE FAINTEST RECOGNITION OF THEIR FACE.

I have had this problem with close family members :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: .



oscuria
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14 Feb 2008, 1:49 am

I don't think I have the extreme side of this problem, but it will take me a 2nd, 3rd, 4th glance to remember the person.

ex: I talk to this girl on campus every now and then but everytime I see her I ask myself "Is that her?"

ex: I met a highschool friend last weekend, but it took me about 30 seconds to process. He quickly recognized me, but my mind had to go through the database of faces.

I guess this is why I cannot remember names. The name never attaches itself to the face. The face never burns itself in my mind. I still wouldn't be able to identify family members. Even if I'm looking for my mom, or brother, I have to think "Ok, what clothes were they wearing?"

No matter how long it's been since I last saw a person, everyone looks different to me the next time we meet.

"Did you do something to yourself? New hair? Makeup? You look different"



Liopleurodon
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14 Feb 2008, 1:52 am

I thought I was the only one in the world...

Yes, this gets very difficult at times. I get very anxious when I know I should recognise someone and I don't. It was terrible when I worked in retail, because a customer would ask me to go and find something for them, and by the time I'd found it I'd completely forgotten what they looked like so couldn't find them again to give it to them.



wsmac
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14 Feb 2008, 1:52 am

Have me drive half way across the country, down a bunch of roads to one particular building... just once... and I'll remember that drive exactly as it was for the rest of my life... well, most of the time anyway.
I won't remember the names of towns, or streets, but I can remember little tidbits along the way.

I think it's common for a lot of people, no matter which planet their from, to not remember someone out of context.
I've seen this happen with people I know personally who typically have a very good memory about most everything.

When I see someone I do remember, my opening line is, "You probably don't remember me, but...", precisely for the reason hartzofspace mentions... I don't expect everyone I meet in life to remember me.
Even if I know I have seen this person many times, I don't want to corner them by figuring they will remember me.


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Jayutimestwo
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14 Feb 2008, 1:54 am

Me too. It takes me ages to learn someones face, and even then, if I don't speak to them alot (and sometimes even if I do) it's just gone. I've completely forgotten most of the people I went to school with.

Do anyone else learn to recognise people by their voice or items of clothing or jewelery they always wear before they learn faces and names?

I'm off in my own world alot as well. If I'm not doing something that requires reasoned interaction I'm away in Jo-landia, population Jo.



wsmac
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14 Feb 2008, 1:59 am

Liopleurodon wrote:
I thought I was the only one in the world...

Yes, this gets very difficult at times. I get very anxious when I know I should recognise someone and I don't. It was terrible when I worked in retail, because a customer would ask me to go and find something for them, and by the time I'd found it I'd completely forgotten what they looked like so couldn't find them again to give it to them.


This reminded me that my memory isn't always so bad about faces...
some patients really strike me in some manner that I can recall that I saw them 'not long ago' (although I actually never remember how long ago it may have been), which department they were in.. lab or E.D. or ICU, etc. and which arm I drew blood from.
I think it's like the driving thing... if I do something in a specific order and there's something unique about the patient's condition or arm, etc, then I stand a better chance of remembering that I have drawn blood on them before.

But still, we have patients who have been coming to our hosptial and lab or many years more than I have worked there.
I see them at least once a month and yet I can't remember their names or what it is we draw on them... meds levels, clotting factors, etc. ... yet they remember my little bandaids I make. I pull out animal ears on the cotton ball and draw a face on the tape that holds the cotton in place.

I get turn things around on all the people I can't remember at work becaus I grow and shave my beard at sporadic intervals and everyone makes such a big deal out of not recognizing me after I shave off my beard. hehehe


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scumsuckingdouchebag
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14 Feb 2008, 2:13 am

I almost alays forget the names of others, but I'm not so bad that I forget someone I spoke to just minutes earlier! However, I do often fail to recognize acquaintances from school and even family members if I am out and public; they are the ones who recognize me and it takes me a few seconds to realize who they are.



hartzofspace
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14 Feb 2008, 2:27 am

I ran into an ex-boyfriend, once while out shopping. He stopped in front of me and asked if I remembered him. I didn't! But it had been over 10 years. He didn't even look very different. And here I had fancied myself in love with him. :?


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Purplefluffychainsaw
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14 Feb 2008, 3:09 am

I wouldn't be able to describe to you the girls I was talking to yesterday (and half hoping to share a house with next semester), or the girls I shared a class with for five years (though in my defence they all looked the same and I stopped bothering to pay attention when I realised they were idiots) let alone someone I'd only spoken to once before. And I can't remember names either, so when I start complaining about a teacher the first thing people say is, "what does s/he look like". Once a childhood friend who lives in the same village as me started to talk to me on the way back from the bus and I didn't recognise her! XD

I remember routes and places without trying though.


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Shayne
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14 Feb 2008, 5:22 am

i often "recognize" people that i dont know


so many people look alike..