Challenge him to get out of his comfort zone

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We've received the minutes from our recent meeting with school re my 7yo AS son.

As stated in the minutes, one of the goals for 2008 is to challenge him to get out of his comfort zone. This term was not used during the meeting (we were actually very pleased and reassured with how the meeting went). Now the alarm bells are ringing again!!

That goal just sounds inappropriate and ignorant on a number of levels..... I would love to hear the views of anyone who disagrees with me.

We're now deciding if we should challenge them on this goal (and a number of other smaller 'issues' with the minutes), or just let it slide, but keep on watching and listening the school VERY closely. The reason I'm hesitant to challenge the minutes is the risk that they become defensive and snooty, and ultimately that it becomes a pointless or detrimental exercise.

Just having a bit of a purge here, but would welcome any thoughts.

Thanks

I'm not sure I understand what's bothering you about this goal. Can you say why you believe it is inappropriate?

One of the best things I've ever done for myself is spend 6 months working in retail (during the Christmas rush, no less). It was definitely outside my comfort zone, incredibly difficult for me, but it left me a far more confident person, able to make eye contact and communicate forthrightly with others in a way I was utterly incapable of prior to the experience. For much of the time, it wasn't fun, but goodness, it was great for me. So there definitely can be benefits to going outside of one's comfort zone. But that was on my own terms, I'm not sure if I'd want to push your son into something like that.
At the same time, I'd hope they're not talking about provoking an experience so extreme. It's possible for any child to stagnate if they're not pushed, the question is where you're pushing them, how far, and how hard. I'd ask for more information. Precisely what is the "comfort zone" they're talking about? Social? Or English, math, something else? And how do they intend to go about putting him outside of his comfort zone. In social situation, if they're expecting to put him outside of his comfort zone before he's ready and expecting him to sink or swim, he'll sink, and that benefits no one, least of all your son. Any such action really has to be very carefully thought out and monitored.
The idea could be beneficial if done right. But I'd probably ask for it to be expanded in the plan, or replaced by a different term to avoid misunderstandings, and that'll give you a chance to run through precisely what they're intending.

Yes, what is the problem?

And if you are against this being done, how do you expect him to be able to expand in his confidence? I wonder if your mistaking gradual and careful pushes to do things he wouldn't normally consider, with forcing him to do things that will result in a meltdown

I think a 7 year-old has a right to be in his comfort zone.

I bet there is still a lot of progress and potential at that age within his comfort zone. It is only at a stage that he cannot progress without leaving his comfort zone where it becomes an issue.

I think the biggest failures I see in the IEP/education/school system is that everyone seems to want to do this: "Well this seems to be working very well, so lets go ahead and mess it all up, after all nothing worthwhile is easy."

I disagree with it on a parental and educational level. I believe you can follow your passions, obsessions, and comforts much further than the old "build them up then knock them down" approach.

Is there a reason to presume bad intentions or an unskillful approach? It seems like maybe you're reading this more literally than it was meant. To me the phrase does not indicate "let's shove him into new situations and make him cry" but rather "let's work on broadening his list of acceptable activities and experiences."

An example: when my son was in occupational therapy, they exposed him to different textures and sensations "outside his comfort zone" but he was never pressured to do something he hated. His therapists sometimes brought clay, sand, bumpy-textured toys, invited him outside barefoot, suggested waterplay activities, etc. It was a matter of providing opportunities for little steps in new directions.

Where I live, this phrase is commonly used in education and simply indicates the intention to help someone learn to be comfortable with a wider variety of experiences, as well as teaching him coping skills to support that process. It does not imply any brutal or inconsiderate tactics.

For some reason this is how these people are. You talk about one thing and they reword it. This still happens to me as an adult with my yearly interviews with DDS.

You're right, I do need more information. I saw it as a cliche'd old line that they trot out for all their kids classed as special needs, and I thought it revealed an underlying lack of sensitivity and belief that all they need is to be pushed into doing things in ways that are more acceptable to NTs. My thoughts are potentially wrong.

I will get them to define what they think his comfort zone is, what they intend to do to encourage him out, how they will go about it and what they will do if he refuses or tries and has a bad outcome.

I hope it goes well! It's understandable to be wary of these sorts of things. Bad experiences do happen. Personally I tend to err more on the side of trusting too much. It's good that you're being proactive.

i'd just make sure they define what comfort zone means to them....and how is this a measurable goal, btw ?

Inexperienced educators are everywhere.

A vague objective like that has no business in an IEP.
One would expect educational professionals to know that.

Get it removed, or quantified.

I suggest presenting a measurable objective... something like

"Johnie will move at least 3 meters out of his comfort zone, at least twice a week,
for a period to last at least at least 45 milliseconds with no more than 7 prompts
from the teacher, and 3 lashes of the whip."

I would hope the humor is off-center enough to demonstrate the issue to the rest of your IEP team.

I agree that this is too vague a goal -- it needs to be MUCH, MUCH more specific.

But on the other hand, I've raised one Aspie son, and I'm raising another one, and I think that every day is spent getting them out of their comfort zone. One of the hallmarks of this syndrome is that they have difficulty trying anything that they are sure they can't master easily. I've seen this time and time again with my sons. Then, when they are slightly pushed into a new situation, they are surprised that the new situation isn't as bad as they thought. I would never push my son into something he very obviously hated, or felt incredibly uncomfortable with -- but I will encourage him to try things that he may be resistant to. With the older son, he was very resistant to learning how to ride a bike. After we pushed him into learning (with much patience), he truly enjoyed riding bikes as an older kid.

Kris

That is not a well-defined IEP goal. I would reject it for that reason. They have no way to quantify his progress or verify that they're actually doing anything with this goal. IEP goals are supposed to be written in a way that you can determine if progress is made or not.

If no progress, then the school failed to follow the IEP.

They should not be adding stuff to the IEP after the meeting. Goals are supposed to be written during the meeting.