How do we deal with aggressive behaviour?

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Our 5 yo son was recently diagnosed with Aspergers in November. He has just started kindergarten (2 1/2 days a week) and we have a new baby, only 9 weeks old. His behaviour over the Christmas holidays was lovely but since starting kindergarten in February his behaviour at home and now at kindergarten has rapidly deteriorated. I realise that this is probably being triggered by tiredness, anxiety and stress at the changes in his life but I am unsure about what to do. He is hitting my husband and myself and is very rude and provocative towards us and his 3 year brother. Previously he was a beautifully behaved little boy who had meltdowns and tantrums but didn't take them out on us directly. In the past we have placed him away from us for bad behaviour (usually made him stand near the front door) and disciplined him with the removal of a specific toy if he continued the undesired behaviour. Now I realise that we are at times making the situation worse by escalating his meltdown, but I really want to teach him to behave appropriately especially before he starts school next year.
What should we be doing?

Keep in mind that aspies are sensitive to stress, nagging and criticism. Use a reward system to reward good behaviour. I've heard a lot of parents saying that rewards work.

Your son is trying to express himself, and doesn't know how. When he starts to act out, you might try saying, "I know you are upset and need to express it, but you cannot hurt others while doing so." Then consider asking him to stay in a separate room or a specific place until he can "gather himself and express his frustration appropriately."

Unfortunately, he may not know what is causing all the anger inside him. Working with a counselor may help; does the school have counseling resources that you might be able to access? Also, if you son likes imaginative stories, you can try creating animal stories where the characters get into similar situations as your child is experiencing, and then asking your child for input into what might happen next, or what the characters may be feeling.

I would also make some dates, just you and your son, because he is probably having a lot of trouble dealing with the loss of attention a new baby brings. My son wanted to send his sister back once we got a month or two into it.

Make sure he knows that he isn't being sent to kindergarten as some punishment, or as a way to make more time for you and your baby. He may have connected these things in his mind in some negative way.

Finally, try to observe what is happening at the kindergarten. He may be experiencing issues that have not been conveyed to you, or other triggers that his teachers aren't tuned into. The timing makes me worry here that something isn't going well at school, so it would be best to investigate.

Meantime, yes, you need to make it clear that the behavior is unacceptable, and issue some sort of time out consequence for it, but be aware that you may not see much result from that until you've accessed the root of the behavior.

Good luck. This sort of thing involves fine tuning your parental instincts and getting inside your little one's mind. And you will resolve it. Be patient.

Thank you for your words of wisdom!
We have started trying to address the root of the behaviour, with a small amount of success. We are also off to see a new psychologist this week to see if they have any thing else to offer.