Email correspondance between my son's teacher and I

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Does anybody else here think their kids teachers are morons? I feel like she just doesn't "get it". This is the email his teacher sent me today. She actually sent a note a few weeks ago saying he "chose" not to pay attention.

She's been sending a note for the past week requesting he turn in this form, even though it's been in his notebook (completed) for more than a week. He forgets he's supposed to turn it in, so instead of asking him for it, she just keeps on sending reminder notes home. My responses are within the email:

Ms. Gamboa,
I am aware of Noah's inconsistencies in class. As part of Noah's contract he is supposed to do his morning routine which is always written on the overhead as the children come in the morning. Although I seldom see Noah read the overhead
If he is not reading the overhead, there is obviously an issue there. What do you suggest can be done about this to keep him on task?

he has improved putting his homework in the homework bin and his morning work in the work bin. Therefore, I know he is capable of doing it even though it may be inconsistent. I also send home a blue missed assignment sheet every week only if Noah does have things that are missing, if he doesn't receive one that means he has turned in and completed all his work for the week. (I sent one home yesturday.) I do physically check Noah's homework folder to see if he has turned everything in. I saw the awareness form and the yellow sheet but left them in there because since I have seen Noah improve with turning his homework in, I was hoping he would eventually turn those in as well.
How long were you planning on waiting to see if he would eventually turn it in? It had already been a week, and he still hadn't done it...

Not only do I have a morning routine written, but I also remind the class what needs to be done or turned in after announcments. Therefore, Noah gets 2 reminders.
I know he has a tendency to zone out, even if it may look like he is paying attention. If he is not walking up to you and doing what is told, please remind him again and ensure he turns in the necessary work.

Yeah, some teachers are morons when it comes to dealing with our kids. I always got, your son has a very high IQ and obviously understands the material because of how he responds orally in class, so we don't understand why he's non compliant with homework.

I taught my son to say "I learn actively through repetition" when he was about 3, so whenever a teacher says something stupid, like she's told him at least 5 times to do x thing, this is now his stock reply. Teachers are guilty of thinking that just because it only takes 5 times for NT children to catch on to the idea, that all children work within the parameters of this. They never seem to understand that our kids need things about 1000 times before they realise it's a routine. We went through that with the homework book. He did it once about 4 months ago when I asked him for it, so now he's just being willful. Teachers also get lazy. They think that just because other kids can remember things that everyone should be able to. I've threatened to glue a post it note dispenser to his forehead and safety pinned notes to his shirt. What else do they want?

I agree completely, how long was she going to wait? How hard was it to say, "child, do you have something for me that you should be bringing to me?" Geez!

Have you thought of making a daily schedule that is laminated to put on his desk? When my son was younger, he was in classrooms that followed the same pattern every day, so we had a laminated daily sheet on his desk that he could refer to often to keep him on task. As he got older, we had to resort to different colours for different days because of specials and then because he started to ignore it because it blended into the background.

It sounds like this teacher needs to be re-educated on how to deal with autistic spectrum students. We don't choose to zone out, there's just lots of things that are tons more interesting. My son has started telling teachers that he WAS paying attention, the teacher was just boring. This tends to make them not happy and I occasionally get notes abour his sarcasm being out of control. Which then prompts me to ask them if they were boring. I try to encourage them in how to behave during lessons to make it more interesting for him. Really, though, I understand that some days nothing short of a playboy model in nothing but a corvette would be the only thing that captures his attention, but they gotta work with it a little.

It seems to me that she is having the mentallity of Noah is already getting special attention because he gets 2 reminders so I have fulfilled my portion of the contract.

I agree, his teacher is a moron.

I taught my son to say "I learn actively through repetition" when he was about 3, so whenever a teacher says something stupid, like she's told him at least 5 times to do x thing, this is now his stock reply.

Brilliant! I love it


Teachers are guilty of thinking that just because it only takes 5 times for NT children to catch on to the idea, that all children work within the parameters of this. They never seem to understand that our kids need things about 1000 times before they realise it's a routine.

Amen to that. It's even harder, because even if she were to repeat herself 1000 times, half that time (if not more), my son would be tuned out.


Have you thought of making a daily schedule that is laminated to put on his desk?

He does have color coded reminders on his desk, but they aren't working. I am going to be meeting with his school again (I feel like I live there), to discuss further recommendations my sons doctors have.

It sounds like this teacher needs to be re-educated on how to deal with autistic spectrum students. We don't choose to zone out, there's just lots of things that are tons more interesting. My son has started telling teachers that he WAS paying attention, the teacher was just boring.

His doctors are suggesting my son be placed in a class specifically for Aspergers kids, that is integrated into his school. This is in hopes that the teaching style would be much more geared towards his learning style/interests which may help him with his attention more. Funny about your son. My son told his psych he pretends to pay attention in class lol

Yeah, I taught my son humour through sarcasm, so he's never boring.

It's been a long time since I've had a kid in elementary school and I haven't taught for a long time, so I was wracking my brain for other things that I used as interventions. It seems like implementing the doctor suggestions through a meeting, is a good idea.
I know I felt like I lived at the school, too. At one point I looked at my husband and said, I'm going to have to quit my job to make this school thing work for him.

I am more disheartened that the school is so AS un-friendly even after the diagnosis. Maybe a class of just AS kids may not be a bad thing. At least for a little while to teach him some coping skills.

I'll tell you a funny story about humour in our house. During junior high when they taught the sex ed portion of the class and showed THE movie about sex, they preached abstinence. The teacher asked my child, "How will you tell a girl no to sex without hurting her feelings?" My son's reply was, "I'm a geek with frogs for pets, it's not even a question. And in light of that, what makes you think I'd tell her no?"

I got a phone call that night telling me what interesting views my son holds, but could he not share them during class. I thought, hey dummy, you're the one who asked him. He was just being honest.

It's been a long time since I've had a kid in elementary school and I haven't taught for a long time, so I was wracking my brain for other things that I used as interventions. It seems like implementing the doctor suggestions through a meeting, is a good idea.
well thank you for the effort even with the doctor's suggestions, i was told the school is not legally obligated to follow. it's been a struggle. they basically laughed at me when i told them he needed o.t. (even though they have given him an alpha smart and acknowledge he has fine motoR and written output issues) and said o.t. is for the more "severly disabled students").



I'll tell you a funny story about humour in our house. During junior high when they taught the sex ed portion of the class and showed THE movie about sex, they preached abstinence. The teacher asked my child, "How will you tell a girl no to sex without hurting her feelings?" My son's reply was, "I'm a geek with frogs for pets, it's not even a question. And in light of that, what makes you think I'd tell her no?"

[b]that is hilarious!! how old is your son now? i remember when my son was in kindergarten his teacher would tell me she was concerned that my son could only draw "potato people" as opposed to the more advanced stick figures kids were drawing. she seemed to disregard the fact that my son could speak about evolution and the Australopithecus.

Welcome to the wonderful experience of dealing with our public education system. My daughter is now 19 and in college, something we were told would never happen. Over her general education years we had some fantastic teachers, and we had teachers that were uncooperative. Heck, we even had a middle school psychologist tell us that she didn't believe my daughter had any issues except being stubborn. (Huh?) Many times I felt like banging my head (or their heads) against a wall. We have had teacher changes and class reassignments. Sometimes they were for the better, sometimes they weren't. For each school year it became a guessing game as to who, how, where or when a problem would arise. Looking back, there wasn't one single year where I wasn't trying to deal with an issue regarding a teacher or some other person that my daughter had to deal with on a daily basis. I have been subjected to intensive scrutiny and snide comments. During one bad situation where my daughter was inappropriately touched in the hallway during passing time the school's vice-principal (seriously, the Vice Principal) pulled her out of class and then pulled out the boy who she accused of touching her and demanded that she look at his face (while he's one foot away from her) and identify the boy. OMG!! I was livid!! I was at the school roaring in the office, suffice it to say the vice-principal was taken to task for HIS inappropriate handling of the situation.

I wish I could say everything will be fine if you just let the schools do their jobs. But that would be lying. As the years go on it becomes somewhat easier or more manageable, I could say. I had to learn to take the defensive and sarcastic tone out of my voice and replace it with fact and authority. I learned not to assume things would be taken care of at the school and to do them myself. I even told some teachers that if my daughter was having such a difficult time paying attention in class then I would join her and see what was happening in the classroom. That was something the teachers did not want to see happen.

I also learned that while schools like to say they are well educated in children with autism and it's disorders, they are not always truthful. It is far easier to say they will do what is necessary than actually doing it. By law they are required to do certain things to help a child, by law. But I have also found that there are loopholes and some of the schools that I have had experiences with will only do the minimum that is required and that's it. Anything else above and beyond is the responsibility of the parents. I have heard that it's not fair to spend so much time on one student, or that other children are not getting the attention they need because the teacher spending so much time keeping "B" on track. I have heard, your daughter is so smart, well above her grade average and in order to qualify for this service she has to be behind her peers by three grade levels. I even had one teacher tell me that I should be grateful my daughter wasn't ret*d. (Huh?)

We have had 504 plans, IEPs and EIPs.... again, some were successful and some weren't. I have sent numerous notes to the teachers expecting replies only to find that the teacher doesn't bother to read the note. I tried implementing an email correspondence, again it all depends on the teacher. I have had teachers who sent homework assignments through email every day so I could stay on top of the situation and other teachers that flat out refused to discuss, email or help in any way. When asked why they wouldn't/couldn't email so I could help my daughter stay on task and get her homework completed I was told they had better things to do.

I have often wondered why some of the teachers we encountered over the past 17 years were even teaching.

I wish a teacher would respond and give me their point of view.

ay yi yi, daisy power...it's comforting when i find other people who can relate to me. i loved the part where you said you told the teachers you would sit in the class with your daughter lol and wtf was wrong with the vice principal?! bajesus. sometimes i feel as though my son's principal doesn't have a clue either. during every 504/IEP meeting we have had, he just sits there.

you are absolutely right about the school doing the bare minimum. pretty much every accommodation we have tried hasn't worked (with the exception of a few), yet they refuse to do anything more. the special ed teacher emailed me today saying they were awaiting the reports from his doctors so that we could "move forward" (whatever that means).

i am just so tired of repeating myself. i feel like i am talking to a wall 99% of the time. even the school counselor and psychologist don't seem to know what they are taking about, so i have to constantly forward suggestions from my son's own personal psychologist. all of the professionals i take my son to say he is a very "complex" individual, but when i try and open up the schools eyes to his complexities they still don't understand.

i am torn because i feel like my sons school isn't doing their best, so that i wonder if i should put him in this private school i found that has a program specifically for aspergers kids. at the same rate though i'd like to keep him mainstreamed and i also don't want to take my son away from his friends. if only theire were a happy medium...

his teachers latest email to me and my response *bangs head against wall*:

I can ask a classmate to remind him to read the overhead when he walks in. I wasn't going to count it against Noah that he didn't turn the awareness form in. I saw it was signed since I did look in his folder. The due date was today so it had been less than a week that it was in his folder considering I handed the project out a week ago. I took it out today since today was the due date.

I understand, but I had no idea you had seen the form...this was never communicated to me until now. I just feel like something like that could have been avoided. There is no need to send reminders home for a week, when you already know he has the information. Please keep in mind a few reminders may work for the other kids in the classroom, but not for Noah. He needs A LOT of repetition and prompting. I cannot stress this enough.

yes most teachers are morons. Most are not functioning at a level as high as the students

And the moms in the crowd, said, "AMEN!" [/notsarcastic]

I just read a horrible story about a local woman who questioned what the school staff was doing (apparently not complying with IEP, according to her) and in the process, cussed. The cops were called and she was told to leave the campus. This was at a model school for Autistic kids here in town. I'm freaking out over it. Our own school is bad enough and I'm chomping at the bit to pull my son out.

It seems to me that most special ed teachers are only used to dealing with so-called "low-functioning" autistics and basically being babysitters. Anyone higher "functioning" than that, that benefit from full inclusion with accomodations (sensory breaks, social coaching, visual aides, etc) and it's all a Rubik's Cube for school staff. "that's not my job!" "I'm too busy!" "Who's gonna pay for that?" "You're not entitled to a Cadillac education!"
And my favorite, "We've never seen a boy like your son!"

I just read a horrible story about a local woman who questioned what the school staff was doing (apparently not complying with IEP, according to her) and in the process, cussed. The cops were called and she was told to leave the campus.

WHAT?! that is ridiculous!

It seems to me that most special ed teachers are only used to dealing with so-called "low-functioning" autistics and basically being babysitters. Anyone higher "functioning" than that, that benefit from full inclusion with accomodations (sensory breaks, social coaching, visual aides, etc) and it's all a Rubik's Cube for school staff.

exactly. i want to keep my son mainstreamed. he needs to be in something between the standard special-ed class and the regular mainstream class. that's what his doctors are suggesting so he is mentally stimulated, but it's geared towards the way he learns

I am sad to say I can relate soooo well to this thread.

Teachers often find it hard to learn despite repetition.

For example, both my school age sons have Asperger's and both have poor organisational skills.

I have been telling their classroom teachers over and over again that they need the teacher to directly supervise the boys putting their homework books in their school bag and note etc in their school bag. This is even written into their IEP.

So I talked to one of the teachers about how stressed my 9 year old has been getting his homework done because it takes him days to get it home, then he's got to try to cram in 1 week's homework in 2 days. How he gets so upset when he forgets.

She says, 'But I remind the whole class to pack their homework into their bags'.

Sigh .... we had such a good second half of year last year.

I made the fatal mistake of relaxing and presuming that the same would happen this year.

I have to tell you. I have said here before about how my school discussed about wether to hold me back like in first, etc.... I NEVER did homework, but did outstandingly well on all the tests. They never held me back. Still, I RARELY did homework. My 5th grade teacher complained in front of the whole class about it.

BTW Teachers in the US are generally idiots. A LOT have cheated or lied to get certifications to get higher pay. They have gone on strike to fight testing and merit based pay. They have special protection/benefits after working for so long. They complain about getting paid "so little", but they are basically HIGHLY PAID BABYSITTERS! Don't laugh though... Apparently other countries aren't that much better, and many are WORSE!

Some of the purely "busy work" they send home, I will do for my son. I don't believe in homework before 5th grade anyhow. I never had homework in the primary grades. We also learned a lot more, and faster. I think they are just sitting in those classrooms to learn to nod their head. By 2nd grade, we were doing times tables and learning to write cursive (1976-77). My son hasn't even gotten to that. They bring home the same stupid math dittoes.

sounds like the teacher is simply clueless.....simply put, if she knows he has the work in his backpack, and she knows he's not handing it in, she has 2 choices: 1. prompt him to take the work out of his backpack, or 2. take the work out of his backpack herself and show him that she has it.....................AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA