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Paula
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04 Mar 2008, 7:32 pm

My friend who is 20 years old had a major public meltdown, police was almost called on him. He had the absolutely worse day ever so I get how he could get so upset. But, like I said, the police was almost called on him. So my question...when you are overwelmed what helps you calm down? My friend yells and screams and crys and says horrible things to people when he has these episodes. So any suggestions, I'll send them his way. Thanks



oscuria
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04 Mar 2008, 7:42 pm

I usually live by the "Don't bring attention to yourself" motto. I just leave the place if I notice I'm getting pissed. Then I start doing whatever I need to do in private.



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04 Mar 2008, 7:56 pm

When I start to feel myself get overwhelmed I normally go home (if possible), take a long warm bath followed by a nap. If for some reason I can't get home I try to remove myself from the situation causing the problem, and go for a walk to find a calm place and listen to music to get my mind off the subject and forget about the world.



Jeyradan
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04 Mar 2008, 8:07 pm

I remove myself from the situation. I have a couple of ways:

- physically. Go for a walk, go to the bathroom, even just plain run away if you have to. It's better than being violent/raging/having the police called. If the situation goes away, fine. If not, it'll still be there when you can deal with it.

- mentally. Put on your mp3 player and listen to music (noise-isolating earphones help), close your eyes, start reading a book or watching something that is going on, put in earplugs. Obviously you have to judge what is appropriate to the situation, but if you need something, the thing to do is learn to express your need - "I am overloaded" or "I need to tune out and calm down" - and then do whatever you have to do. If you have explained, you can usually do whatever you need.



SilverProteus
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04 Mar 2008, 8:22 pm

I imagine myself putting my emotion into a compartment in my head, locking it up and throwing away the key. Works like a charm.


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9CatMom
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04 Mar 2008, 8:43 pm

I think of my cats and imagine cuddling up with them. Petting my cats calms me down.



LabPet
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04 Mar 2008, 8:47 pm

A weighted blanket helps immensely! Plus, I use a digital metronome with a visual pendulum.
Previous posts are right too - remove oneself from the situation (before inevitable screaming ensues, uncontrollable crying).
He'll need a low-stimuli environment! Low-light, quiet, restful. And, yes, let him 'run it off,' exercise helps.

Secretly, I harbor homicidal fantasies....heh heh. But I'm not vengeful and take it all personally, not 'blaming' if there is a transgressor/bully. I wish I had some verbal reproach (or a rabid guard dog).

Good luck - hope he feels better during (prior to) meltdown. Try 1st 3 tips.


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Aranittara
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04 Mar 2008, 8:50 pm

It varies I usually mentally distance myself if possible sometimes try and zone out. walk away if people talking to me personally problem is rents and some teaches (who are trained in dealin w/ aspies) follow me / try to 'talk it through'
not helpful best thing is if people leave me alone when i'm mad
What i need to learn is how to stop myself from getting to a place where i can't think analytically cause once i get there i can't talk for a while cept for yellin / cryin.
the only thing that calms me is time.



tinky
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04 Mar 2008, 10:14 pm

i usually remove myself from the situation, go into a quiet room, and listen to music. if available, i find my cat and cuddle with her. also, one cup of hot earl grey tea calms me down most of the time. at school i either depart from the situation mentally or physically and scribble down some poetry somewhere.


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Cirrus
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04 Mar 2008, 10:17 pm

Leaving the situation that triggered it is key. Trying to unwind with some music and walking around also helps me let it out. I try to avoid doing anything too mellow afterwards as it leaves me feeling drained. Anything that'll redirect my focus and adrenaline helps.



Danielismyname
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04 Mar 2008, 10:22 pm

I walk away (removing myself from the trigger, the trigger is usually people), and if it's bad enough, I just sedate myself; there's no point putting up with a self-destructive "meltdown", I bang my head; I feel like doing, and I usually cut myself; I pull my nails apart, etcetera.

Sedation stops me doing all of this.



Rowen
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04 Mar 2008, 11:49 pm

I go away in my head. I can do that in a crowded elevator or mall. I can't do it if people keep trying to talk to me though.



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05 Mar 2008, 12:10 am

I take a few sips of the bitterness, flinch for a moment.. then my eyes light up like stars, and I empty the rest down my gullet.



sodarktheshadows
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05 Mar 2008, 2:42 am

i try to remove myself physically from the situation. once i can do that, depending on where i am, i like to be in complete darkness, and/or shut my eyes and just rock back and forth while trying to remove all thoughts (good and bad) from my head...i'll usually just concentrate on the rocking until this happens. by then i've calmed down enough that i can function somewhat better. i haven't had many public meltdowns, luckily. happened a few times in school, a couple of times at work (not advisable, btw! lol) and once really badly this past xmas in front of my family (usually i have been good at hiding it from them in the past) that didn't go over too well, but made them aware of my issues, and maybe even a little more understanding.
but yeah, screaming and yelling (no matter where you are) does not tend to go over very well, i've found. good luck to your friend.


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Aranittara
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05 Mar 2008, 6:16 am

Rowen wrote:
I go away in my head. I can do that in a crowded elevator or mall. I can't do it if people keep trying to talk to me though.

same here



CockneyRebel
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05 Mar 2008, 11:30 am

If I start to have a meltdown and I start yelling, and going on, about what somebody's said, I'll go for a little walk, and than I'll come back, in a much calmer mood.


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