Teeth brushing nightmare

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Do others find teeth brushing a nightmare?

2 of my 3 sons have Asperger's and I am tired of the nightly teeth brushing battle.

The boys are 9 and 7 and do not brush their teeth properly so I let my husband help them.

However, after a couple of stern lectures from the dentist because the boys are showing signs of decay (though not needing fillings yet) I have sacked my husband. I even sent my husband to the dentist twice with the boys but her lectures went straight over his head!

We are using the plaque-revealing tablets. I let the boys brush, then I finish off and help them floss.

Last night my 9 year old had a spectacular meltdown that lasted 1.5 hours. I let him brush by himself because he knows he is doing a fantastic job. I know he doesn't brush properly and wanted him to realise this.

He brushed his teeth then chewed a plaque-revealing tablet which showed the areas he has missed. This resulted in a huge meltdown. Sigh.

Anyway, do other people find teeth-brushing difficult?

Helen

Tooth-brushing was always a battle in our house when the boys were younger. The only one who willingly brushed his teeth was Soccerdude, the NT. I thought it would be easier with a daughter..... HAHAHA!! Not when she seems to have AS, as well. She claims that brushing her teeth makes her feel like she's getting needles in her gums, and I've bought the softest toothbrush on the market on the advice of the dentist.

I wish I had some advice, but I don't. Even now, with the boys being teenagers and you would think, a little more concerned about hygiene, I still find myself sending the 2 of them back into the washroom to brush their teeth. I'm lucky if I can get them to do it once a day. I thought having to have cavities filled would prompt them to brush more often, but no, it didn't. I've even tried using the "girls like clean teeth" card. No luck!!

So, I am at a loss, as well.

Good luck. I'll be watching your thread for ideas.

When I was young, I never brushed my teeth. Never. Sometimes I would even breathe in toothpaste fumes for a few seconds to try and make it seem like I had. I can't remember why I didn't, though.

Nowadays I brush twice a day [well, usually] but I have to force myself. And now as an adult, I know that I hate brushing because I can't stand the taste or texture of toothpaste, and I can't stand it when the toothbrush or the toothpaste touches my tongue. I need the water constantly running so I can rinse toothpaste off my brush, and I need to spit every few seconds.
I finally found success using only tooth gel (never paste; it's chalky and gritty) and an electric toothbrush (so I don't hurt myself by clumsily stabbing myself in the mouth while brushing). Milder flavors work well too - like Colgate's vanilla mint. "Kid" flavors are usually too bold and chalky.

Perhaps something in all that mess could also be affecting your sons? Have you discussed with them what exactly causes them not to want to brush? And if so, perhaps they can't articulate it... could you ask a few yes/no or "scale of 1-10" questions that might help them articulate their problems with it?

Hi,
Maybe let them know that I thought J (now 9) was doing a good job at tooth brushing, ha how wrong was I.
J goes off to do it willingly enough, however he isn't doing a good job. I think it's possibly due to fine motor difficulties mainly.

Anyway by age 7 or 8 he has had to have several fillings/caps, tooth extractions and root canal work! So surgery was needed.

His teeth were crumbling.

Where did you get the tablets? I'd like some of them.

I have been lucky that my Aspie / won't brush properly child is also the one with a mouth that doesn't get cavaities easily. Still, after a boy died from undetected gum disease, I've been letting my son know that it is far more important that the obvious.

I think it's difficult for them to process the unmeasurable future benefits against the known immediate stress. My son will play games to get out of it, despite all he knows. I also think he would simply refuse to chew one of those tablets, telling me that "he knows it's there and he doesn't care." Hygiene is really something he doesn't enjoy and he doesn't "get."

I don't know if it will work with an Aspie, but my NT daughter has gotten really, really careful about taking care of her teeth after having to sit through 6 fillings. No fun at all. Still, the further away we get from those appointments, the less immediate the need starts to become, and she needs reminding. She actually does a good job, and lets us do the brushing at night. Despite all that, her mouth breeds cavaties ... it seems so unfair, since she has always been relatively good about it. The relationship between a good brushing job and healthy teeth isn't as clear as you might think: some kids are lucky, some are not. But, of course, it's better to cover the bases and do the best job of oral care you can. Which is, ultimately, one of those "maybe yes, maybe not" concepts that Aspie kids can't relate well to. No doubt, your kids are aware of some other child who never brushes and has no problems at all ... which makes the connection between action and result difficult for them to hold onto.

I would suggest making it a rule that you do the brushing, and then dispense with the tablets. Somedays a better job gets done than on other days, and that is the simple reality of it. Plus some days your boys will have greater need for you to go easy on them. If you take away the tangible measure, you get back that flexibility. But they will have to agree to the rule: allowing you to brush until you feel an adequate job has been done. If you really want them to practice the skill, get a timer and monitor brushing until the timer is over. If you deem they tried hard enough to do a good job, they get their bedtime story (for example). If you've been warning them through the process that they weren't doing it right, they lose the story (for example).

That basically worked for us, until I got tired of supervising / doing and decided to just concentrate on my daughter, since she has the cavaty prone mouth.

is it the tooth brushing they dislike, or the toothpaste?............there are milder toothpstes out there, if it's the toothpaste. i'm afraid i don't have any other suggestions, though. hard to get son to brush his teeth.

Thanks for your replies.

My 7 year old has been happy for me to take over brushing his teeth because he doesn't want to get fillings.

My 9 year old doesn't hate brushing his teeth - it's his rigid thinking/perfectionism that's the problem. In his mind he brushes his teeth perfectly.

The plaque-revealing tablet showing the areas he missed .... well I think he felt this a great insult to his perceived perfection of his brushing. (My 9 year old has issues across all areas relating to his perfectionism).

The boy love the plaque-revealing tablet ... they think they taste delicious and want to chew them every night!

I hated (and hate) brushing my teeth; the sensations are absolute ick, and I never seem to do a good enough job. But even though it sucks, it's kind of necessary (unfortunately), and it's something that should be kept up with.

Even once they get to a point where they seem to be doing well at it, I would advise supervising, at least every so often, at random points; it's fairly easy to fall out of a habit, especially if it's not a loved one.

Fillings are much, much worse than brushing teeth though (I have enough, due to acid reflux and whatnot), so brushing is worth it.

I just wanted to let you know, I got the tablets and tried them on J after he'd brushed his teeth. ewwwwwww

even tho he has had so much work done on his teeth, lots of tooth brushing teaching and with me checking up and giving them a good going over every now and then, yuck what a mess. Lol he freaked out and has agreed to me doing them always.

Thank you for reminding me. you have just saved us another trip to the dentist and possibly his surgery.

Have you tried other toothpastes? I can't stand to have anything mint in my mouth - obviously that severely limits what toothpaste I can use. My bf will only use a salt toothpaste. Its kind of gritty and taste weird but at least it doesn't burn my mouth like mint does

Not much advice for you I'm afraid.

It's a nightly battle here also.

crest brands burn my mouth.
colgates are more mild.

Your kids may be supertasters

We brushed our sons' teeth until he was about 10. He didn't want to do it himself so we did.

He really hates mint. He is 13 now and still uses the Colgate kids' watermelon toothpaste. Luckily he has had only one cavity and that filling went well, but our dentist he trusted from the time he was 2 moved away suddenly and he does not like his replacement.

It's a guilt I'll live with for the rest of my life. My daughter's teeth are a disaster. She fought me about brushing her teeth. I didn't push it because I neglected my own teeth and never had trouble with them so I didn't think that it was that big of a deal.

Now her mouth looks like a Halloween costume. Seizures also added to the problem but if I could go into the past and really put a serious offort into it.... anyway I feel so sad when I think of the pain she has gone through because of tooth infections and her chewing problems which probably wouldn't have happened it I had only tried harder with her dental hygiene.

The whole area of personal hygiene is a constant battle with J. She won't wash or brush her teeth without being told every time, and even then she often won't do it. I know her memory is bad and 'sometimes' she genuinely forgets, but the rest of the time it just seems to be that she doesn't want to and just WON'T do it. The threats of teeth rotting and falling out, or no one wanting to be friends with her if she smells don't have any impact, and visual reminders don't work either. At the moment we have a system where she can earn a weekend reward if she washes and brushes her teeth every morning and evening, with only one reminder each time. She's allowed a certain number of 'fails' each week and the plan is to gradually reduce the number of fails she's allowed and reduce the reminders. Seems to be working so far but it's early days.

We had the same nightmare until we got an electric toothbrush WITH A TIMER. It seemed expensive at the time, but it was so worth it! We actually got one that played music after a minute, even though it was a bit babyish, but for some reason it worked miracles!! From kicking and screaming to two minutes brushing morning and evening from one day to the next.... I think it was the novelty of the music in the beginning, and now it works because he knows how long he has to suffer:) Also, we told him the dentist says two minutes....