Initimacy for Touch Aversives...

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Hey,

Just looking for some answers...

I am touch aversive. I don't experience pain at physical contact or anything that drastic, but find contact EXTREMELY uncomfortable. As in my skin itches and I find I have a compelling need to rub or scratch where I have been touched and, for want of a better word, it tends to make my skin "crawl." As if I was being crawled on by ants or bugs or something.

I have been doing dance for a year now in order to better "tolerate" this aversion to touch and it has helped a lot.

But what I want to hear is anything other touch aversive people have done in order to facilitate (or enjoy) touching their partners. Both in general touch (i.e. holding hands) to intimate touch (i.e. hugging) to sexual contact. What concessions have been made, holds barred, situations avoided etc... to better facilitate human contact in an interpersonal relationship?

Thanks for any responses...

alas, it's different for every couple (or more)..it's something you work out. If you can talk about it to your partner, maybe you can set some guidelines...

I'm not touch aversive myself, but I suspect it is, at least for you a side-effect of general anxiety, which I am experienced in dealing with.
Exercise was a good start. You can also try taking Omega 3 fatty acid supplements as they have helped many people I know with anxiety. Also try taking magnesium supplements as anxiety can be a symptom of magnesium deficiency. You can also just try and work toward getting used to more touch with your partner gradually. I think that as you build trust and get used to touching more, you might start to feel better about it.

Not to be argumentative, but the poster did say that exercise (dance) did help, which suggests to me that anxiety does play a role. Omega 3 and magnesium also support the nervous system (and indeed are essential for neurological health), which at a minimum couldn't hurt and at a maximum could help significantly if this is indeed a neurological disorder as you suggest.

I'm partially touch-aversive. I don't like touching strangers (although I've forced myself to be able to tolerate a handshake), and I don't like it when someone surprises me by touching me (i.e. walks up behind me and grabs my shoulder). Other than that, I almost need to have some intimate contact with a woman I love (not necessarily sexual contact, though)...

I meant dance helped because I am constantly in contact with people. I have absolutely no problem with anxiety. It is a trait I certainly lack.

The dancing has helped because it allows me to tolerate the contact of other people. It hasn't helped in the discomfort or the pain (not critical pain just annoying pain, like a prickle) that I actually feel. Just my ability to continue on, even though I do feel it.

And I don't have a partner at the moment. This is more a question because I am successfully sorting out various other issues surrounding Asperger's and my particular experience with it that I am getting to the point where a girlfriend is a legitimate option for me. However this touch aversion issues does hold some reservations for me.

As a sort of way of inspiring and reassuring me that there are options available. I know that there ARE options, I wouldn't mind hearing some success stories too though...

My first post. I'm sorry it had to be a sad one

I always felt alone with this problem. I feel like I hit rock bottom today but this post is the 1st time I don't feel alone.



I get the same feeling but didn't know it until I met my GF 3 years ago. I never liked being touched but always thought it would be different with a woman.

This problem is eating me alive because we are in love and I can't get/give physical satisfaction. We fight because I don't feel good enough and I always think she's cheating.

I sometimes wish I was still alone because I wouldn't know about it or at least I wouldn't be hurting anyone else.


I forced myself to be physical for most of the relationship and never told her. I just assumed it would go away. But it got worse and I actually fear contact now.

Then a therapist recommended that I improve my body image. I lost almost 100lbs, built my body and like how I look. But the feeling is still there and thats why im so down today. I also can't afford any more therapy


The general consensus I get is that adults with this problem are screwed. I hope someone can post something that helps.

I am touch averse and a joke at work for several years was "don't touch me," but it really wasn't a joke. I find that best thing is to be honest, maybe not on the first, second, or third date, but at some point be honest with what you are feeling. If your girlfriend wants to be with you then she will work with you. The worst thing to do is to force yourself and pretend that nothing is wrong. That, unfortunately can lead to even more fear and shutting down. My last girlfriend had sensory issues, too, so we gave each other space and talked it through.

Z

I think I have the exact opposite problem. Where's the thread "getting touched for intimacy aversives"?

I also have two thoughts on the subject. First off, can you desensitize yourself to your touch aversion by touching yourself for a bit first? And secondly, what if your partner is immobilized, say tied up? If you're only doing the touching, not being touched yourself? Of course in that case you'd have to find someone who likes being submissive an awful lot.

Oh yeah, and congratulations on your successful weight lost and muscle increase. I am in the middle of that sort of thing (though not as much weight) at the moment and know how tough it is.