Another child diagnosed

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It's official. My 7 year old daughter had her assessment yesterday and she has Asperger's and ADHD. I'm not surprised in the least. She is obsessed with Canadian politics and can tell you who the parties and their leaders are, and what their platforms are. It's incredible. She also listens to songs on the radio and writes the lyrics in her notebook. She started this last week and began her second notebook today. If I could get her to take a bath, brush her teeth or put on clean clothes without a meltdown she'd be amazing.

So, that makes a total of 3 out of my 4 kids. It's funny, I don't feel bad for my AS kids, I feel a little bad for the NT. He says he feels like he was dropped smack dab in the middle of the wrong family. I can't say I understand but I do think he has a good point.

I think you need to spend a little bit more time with your NT child. If he's talking like this, that's probably a sign that he feels left out, considering that Aspie kids feel left out in everyday life, I suppose it's ironic for an NT child to feel left out in an Aspie family, but all the same, take such a phrase from him as initiative to spend more time with him and make him feel welcomed into the family.

Thank you for your response. He does get support through the same therapist as his brothers and he was involved in a support group for siblings of Aspies. He plays soccer on two teams, one house league, one rep and is the goalie on the city team that plays once a year at the Summer Games. He dates and is in the "popular" crowd in high school. I do many things with him while his brothers do what they do.

I think most of his trouble comes from being so social and a total people pleaser. The rest of us tend to say what we think and ask questions that he finds blunt. It doesn't fit with how NT's think. And while he's all emo over this girl or that, his brothers don't get what the big deal is. They don't think like him at all. He is adjusting and does have support, but you're right, it is ironic that at home, he is the odd man out. I think it's given him an understanding of how his brothers feel when they leave home and have to deal with the real world.

That really does create an interesting situation, to have one NT in a group of 4 children. Am I correct that one or both of the parents is also Aspie?

I have one of each, NT and Apsie, also boy and girl, and I think they learn a lot from each other. There is a very strong - and normal, lol - love / hate relationship between the two. The good days, when there is more love and very little hate, are really fun to see.

I guess my main question about your NT child is, does he resent being dropped into the wrong family, or is it more of a joke from him, a way of pointing out the obvious to remove the weight of it? It would rather depend on the tone and context of the statement, I think.

As for your daughter, with such an experienced mom, I am sure she will be fine. Great, even.

I think he says he is in the wrong family in a playful sense. When he spends time with his friends' families, he says he's glad to be home because we make sense and aren't loud and unorganized. I think he appreciates the fact that our home is structured, there is no chaos and everyone is fairly predictable. And due to sensory issues (including his own) our home is kept fairly quiet without glaring lights or strong odors. He has a few Aspie characteristics of his own, I think.

I am the ADHD (diagnosed)/Aspie (undiagnosed) parent, as is my father. I had my 3 sons with my first husband and my daughter with my second husband. I am the common denominator.

Glad you got your daughter diagnosed. All that teeth-brushing, bathing and wearing of clean clothes is really over-rated don't you think!

I think it's good for your NT son to be in your family. He will grow up being so much more accepting, and having the knowledge that there is more than 1 way to think!

Helen

Your NT son couldn't find a better mom!