"I have no right to choose my friends"

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Yesterday, I told a friend of mine that I no longer wanted to be friends with her. When I really needed her support, she did nothing. I tried to get over this and forgive her for it, but I was never able to. I feel horrible. This is the first time in my life that I've ever broken up with a friend. I've made about 100 excuses for her behavior and about as many reasons to doubt myself. Today, this popped into my head:
"I have no right to choose my friends. I should be greatful for whoever wants to spend time with me."
Obviously, that's a ridiculous statement. But, I can't seem to refute it. Any help? I can't be the only person here with this idea...

your friends are one of the few things you do have a right to choose. As the saying goes, you choose your friends, your family you're stuck with...

Thanks for the response, that's a really good point...

Friendship is great in theory, and greater when it's real. But sadly, I think there are a few real friendships in the world. Not many people are so good a friend that they won't ditch someone for something better.

Real friendship needs work. Most people do not want this work.

Hay, yeah I had that same idea earlier on in college. I realized how much it really hurt who I was as a person. People that became my friend, well would treat me like sh?t. Instead, I decided to make a pack with myself, which I have partially followed, that I would only be friends with people who would treat me with respect, dignity, blah. Now as much as this sounds like holier than thou, I am really pretty easy going about things. The result of the pack though, is that i don't have as many friends at the end of the day. Now, we are all different, but you know at the end of the day, does being treated with disrespect, indifference, etc. Does that equal a good use of our lives?

Weirdly I could of written a similar post about a situation in my not so recent past. At the end of the day, losing friends really, really sucks.... especially when they were at one point good friends. Though in this city (we live in the same city), it seems people change in a blink of an eye, sometimes, for good, or sometimes, for unfortunate ways. I have. I am just saying don't take it personally.

But that is not here nor there, wait did I just totally wonder off topic? Yeah well,

Friends that are not friends voluntarily are not real friends.

Thanks for the comments, y'all. I'm working on it... *ehn ehn ehn!*

If she made you so unhappy by not being supportive of you, then you did the right thing in dumping her. You can always meet new people.

Friendship is a relation for mutual benefit. If one side does not help the other when in need (but possibly expecting help when they are in need) it's no relation but exploitation.

One great friend is better than a few alright friends. That's what I've discovered when thinking about my childhood. Back when I was a kid, I only had one friend. But you know what? I was a happy kid. When I switched between parents, I got picked on. A few years later, I was no longer picked on but only hung around with people at work or made small talk. Now I have another really great friend as well as a girlfriend and I feel I need no more friends.

There is a difference between someone you "spend time with" and a friend. A friend is chosen by ones gut feeling, not by logical reasoning.

Truth.

It will take time to find true friends. I have a friend that is so special to me and when I first met this person, I have a feeling that this person is going to be the most special person in my life. I even wrote a tribute to my friend, and here it is.

A Special Friend

When I think about my special friend, I think about my friend Greg.
He always been there for me and he is the first one that I contact
when I need someone to talk to or to tell him some news, either by
phone, Facebook, MySpace, or occasionally by AIM.

I first met Greg in college at a diversity event at our residence
hall. He was putting on a disability awareness simulation of a person
reciting the color of what the color words are, not the color word
itself, and I had no problems with it. For example, if the word
yellow is in blue, the person says blue, not yellow. He mentioned
that there are people that have a hard time with it, since both parts
used different parts of the brain. During our conservation, he and I
mentioned about our two disabilities, he with dyslexia and me with
autism. Greg was the first person that I told that I am autistic
during the first meeting and before then, I did not tell anyone
during the first meeting. He did invite me to come to the next
Students for Disability Awareness meeting, in which I attended and
later became the public relations chair. If it was not for Greg, I
would not even been involved with SDA.

Ever since that day, he and I became good friends. I do not know if I
will call him my best friend, but he is a special friend to me.
Through Greg, I got to know many of his Sigma Chi brothers and I
became friends with them. I even presented my autism program to their
chapter and afterwords, Greg gave me a tour of the house. Whenever I
wrote a note on Facebook or gave something to Sigma Chi, Greg shared
it to them during their chapter. I also mailed them some pictures
that I took to them and I am pretty sure that Greg will share them to
his Sigma Chi brothers. I even made him a collage of the pictures
that I have of him, including the one in a John Trovola pose while he
was wearing a 1970s era suit.

When I told him that I was graduating from college, he was upset. He
asked me, "Why do you have to graduate?" When I asked him why he was
upset, he said, "I need to find a new PR chair." I guess that he felt
that way because SDA is losing a valuable member of their executive
board. In my memory book that I passed around just before graduation,
he wrote in there, "It has been an honor working with you on SDA and
having a great friend like you. Congratulations on graduating and I
hope for nothing but the best for the future." After the college
graduation ceremony, he was the first person that I called and told
him that I am finally graduated and to tell the guys thanks for the
support.

Greg always been there for me, ever since the first meeting. He and I
accepted each other, I have no problems with him being dyslexic and
he has no problems with me being autistic. Greg is an important
person in my life and the most special friend that I could ever ask
for.

Thanks for everyone's responses. Tabi, I'm glad you found someone so special to you!

It is great to find someone special.

No. This mantra significantly guided my life for so long. It only resulted in me developing mood disorders and me eventually having to break off the friendships anyways. If you believe in your right to live, then you believe in your right to be happy and if you believe in your right to be happy, then you believe in your right to choose your friends. If you don't value yourself, the friends who find you (literally find you) are sharks who smell blood.

I understand the utter desperation to be accepted and liked, but if your friends have no value in you then they don't accept you or like you. You're like their little pet--to be punished or rewarded.

Learn to value your space in this world first. As difficult as that may be for us, it's a necessary step towards a more fulfilling life.