Insanely confused about my social actions

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Ok. This is sort of weird I think, but advise would be nice....

In public I try to stop my stims, my stares and act as normal as possible. It's pretty frustrating sometimes... It's just not me.

Alone I stim, stare at things and act like me. But If I act like me in public I start to feel wrong. I start telling myself "You don't act this way" Or "This isn't you" But when I am alone and not monitoring myself, that is how I act.

Am I just getting confused or being embarrassed (I've never been embarrassed about anything I've ever done, as far as I can tell)?

I honestly don't know how to describe this feeling, but it is like I am berating myself for acting as I actually am. Anyone have any advise on what this could be?

be yourself

I want to be, but my Government teacher doesn't help that... He sort of ridicules me. Everyone else thinks it's funny, so nothing will be done about it.

I still don't know what the feeling is.

I can relate to your post. I've had to work very hard for many years to develop a mode of behavior which works around so called normal people. It's exhausting and does not feel normal.
It feels kind of like pretending or being dishonest. I can't come up with a totally satisfying description of the feeling either, but I think I know something of what you mean.

work on it then

Asperity. It's not that.

It is that acting as I normally do alone feels wrong. It feels different than if I act like myself alone and I don't know what it is.

Why not just do what feels right?

It is tiring. Because I feel safer acting like someone else. But I get so tired I want to hit someone. So I take a break by acting like me, which feels wrong.

get a life

If you are going to speak that way, please don't post here. I am trying to figure something out here.

if your stims don't disrupt others then it isn't a problem(an dif it does disrupt others who cares), and if your teacher is pointing out the things you do to make yourself calm and then ridicules you, then he's an A** and you should report it to an administrator.

What if you tried to find a middle ground between the two? You could be a little less embarassed for the way you act and also be a little more pro-social.

thought it was a public forum. You are talking nonsensical gobbledegook. I'm trying to help you.

I'm not one of the God Of Highland (A sports person) so nothing would happen. My school is very small and sports gets all the money the school has... We don't even always had electric... But there is always Baseball.

That is probably a good idea. I had not concidered that. Thank you very much.

BiPolarConstrict0r- I never wish to hear from you again. Though this is a public forum I posted a problem. If I could just write it off, I wouldn't be posting here. And I believe we all deserve some level of respect.

Me too. If you could clarify exactly what your problem is, then I may be able to help. ( I have much experience in this area, I wont go into it here, but feel free to PM.)
If you are just looking for sympathy from random strangers from the internet, then feel free to carry on. Good luck in either case.