What clued you/them in?

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What was it that got you, or your child's teachers/neighbors/relatives/whomever, on the road to diagnosis?
I'm assembling a list of characteristics, on the advice of a psychiatrist, for a family I know, and I thought that as parents, you guys would know better than anyone what "stood out" to you about your child.

For the record, here are the things most noticeable about this particular child (these may or may not be AS traits):
- extreme monologuing, "lecturing" (to friends at school, family, and other adults - sometimes even strangers)
- extreme difficulty with transitions (even to enjoyable activities/environments)
- "collector" - stuffed animals, sports memorabilia, or even meaningless things like cosmetic cases
- no concept of others' feelings (anything from boredom with his lectures to pain when he kicks them)
- no concept of basic social rules (such as not interrupting, or giving friends a chance to speak/respond)
- trouble with speech (volume, rhythm - he does have articulation issues that I think are unrelated)
- his father has AS traits (but is probably not diagnosable)

Where'd you get the cool House icon? hehe

Daughter:
Narrow focus
Rocking
Fear of sounds
Obsession with running water
Poor eye contact
No pretend play until almost 4 years old
Sensory problems


Son:
Speech delay
Flapping
Vocal tics
Head banging (not the rock and roll sort)
Narrow focus
Spinning wheels
Preferring parts of objects rather than the object as a whole
Sensory problems

Yes, 2 for 2, they're both autistic.

misconstruing social situations. bossiness. inability to see other people's points of view as worthwhile or valid

We were in denial for a long time. When he was spending most of his time at school under a desk growling at people and needed to be picked up early every day for behavior issues... we knew there was a problem.

I should have realized that there was something going on when he was 23 months old and lining up M&Ms in rows by color.

E-extreme sensitivity to sound, lots of difficulty with transitions

L-adult speech patterns (little professor), in his "own little world" at school

Both-difficulty interacting with other children, tantrums, too focused on their special interests, difficulty with eye contact, inability to focus and perform at school even when they know the subject well

My apparently brilliant son was unable to perform in school. He was frustrated trying to learn both how to write and how to read. The gap between perceived ability and actual performance was tangible.

His first grade teacher jumped onto the writing right away. She said it looked literally painful to her, his trying to write. She asked our permission to get a student study team evaluation.

But, it did all get complicated. We were very focused on the writing, on wanting OT help, but the original teacher left on maternity leave and all we got was a lovely letter from the district OT recommending ergonomic changes. Well, we knew that wasn't going to cut it at all. The more the year progressed, the more obvious it became that something was going on with my son that no one yet understood.

When we were told that we could only get the OT help if my son was qualified for special education, we asked that he be reviewed for qualification. It was that process that revealed the Aspergers. The diagnosis was actually a surprise to most on the team, they had set out to eliminate it, and hadn't really suspected it, but our school principal had called it all along. It took me a while to tune into it as well. When I look back there were so many other warning signs, it was just that no one connected the dots.

I think diagnosis is very difficult when you have a bright child that basically does really well figuring out how to compensate for his issues on the spot, as my son did. But that can't carry them forever, and we were seeing real frustration, and he was in danger of permanent retreat as a protective mechanism to that frustration.

My parents thought it was strange that I would scream if they sat me near some orange curtains but that was years before people really knew much about ASDs. Being mute is a big clue as is the non-interaction with other children.

So what do you all say to my almost-3-year-old?

Language OK - not brilliant, except about trains/trucks!
Can "flirt"
Plays well with fantasy, I think. Plays he's a train or cat. Can make play food.

Extremely quickly makes routines and meltdown/tantrum if they're changed. ex. which step he sits on to get his shoes on, same door, same clothes, same food ect.

Knows his week days and what to expect on each day.

Complains if furniture is moved - even just a lamp. Actually we move things back for him. Tidies up - in the right boxes!

Is very bossy and corrects us if he thinks we've broken a rule.

Obsessed by trains and trucks - much more than usual 3 year olds. Huge adult vocab. of train/truck names and types. Thomas videos, toys ect. Brio train. Knows about coal/steam/diesel.

Am I right thinking he is NT with quirky AS traits?
I have a HFA son - I know he's not HFA. But AS?

Katrine, I think he sounds like a 3 year old!

I have to say, I am not sure my son could have been diagnosed before age 5 or 6. The range in toddlerhood for so many things is quite broad. Little ones thrown tantrums, try to organize the world around themselves to their liking, and test limits. That is all normal. Unless you have a child that is a more extreme case, I don't know how you tell. Probably 99% instinct. As long as your child is handling things OK, within the range of normal, at this age you also don't NEED to know. For us, the problems hit quick with Kindergarten, and the skills he needed to master. While there were issues with preschool, also, I think that had to do more with a bad fit than my son's AS. So ... when you get children on the high end of the spectrum, I think it is too difficult to tell as toddlers. But, making notes can be a good idea, to help you reach a more definitive conclusion later, when needed.

Although, I was pretty convinced early on that my daughter was completely NT. Every little thing with her was different.

Thanks
I've been worried.
I'm so used to my HFA son have had problems knowing how "strict" to be the three year old - he has terrible tantrums!! ! Howled for a straight half hour last time I shopped with him!

loud volume/eye contact
unusual interests (big one)
trouble with transitions
hiding/running/lecturing (not anymore)
internally distracted (big one)
always preferred adults (would prefer to teach rather than be the student)
confused about his place in classroom (am I one of those students?)

In order to perform at his best he needs flexiblity, an appreciation of his interests and opportunities to lecture/discuss/lead. If he's in the wrong environment, I can tell right away. He is adapting so much better now that he's eight-years old and in the right environment for him.

I don't have any children, but here are the traits I see in myself:

Unusual interests, both in type and intensity
Anxiety
A tendency to do dumb things, even though I am not stupid
A very early interest in both reading and writing. Even today, I would consider myself a compulsive reader and an avid writer
Only average performance in math, despite no recognized math disability
Mild prosopagnosia (Face blindness)
Bullied in early grades at school
Good academic performance at college, despite lack of participation in social aspects of school

I am a grade 12 student working on a project on AS children. Would it be ok if I used some of this information? If you would like to help me further I have to perform my own primary research in order to prove my thesis, this entails an interview with a parent of an AS child. Please contact me if you are interested.
Thanks!

I'm no parent, but I would be very interested in seeing your results and/or thesis if that is a possibility at some point.