Keep hurting people...

Post Reply New Topic

I don't know if anyone else has similar experiences but I've noticed a pattern I keep falling into recently of the grass always being greener, whether I'm in a relationship or not. The problem is that I meet people and want to be with them at first but then the demands to consider their feelings, socialize with them and their friends, do things together, demands on my time etc get too much and I have to get away. This leaves them feeling like they've been led on unneccessarily which is never my intention, but it keeps happening and I can see how it looks that way. I see the pattern afterwards but at the time I just don't notice it. Any ideas on how to break this cycle as I don't like to hurt people like this. Its part of a bigger problem I have of the desire to socialize but not liking the actual realities of it. Help!

Yeah we should definitely bring in the one night stands of making pals. If NT people can do it with dating....

I've had very similar experiences with my friends...I guess in every relationship/friendship there has to an effort from both sides...and that's where we are faulting. My friends have told me that I don't show an 'interest' or make any 'effort', but only wanting to be part of the gang, which makes them feel that they've been taken for granted. Like you described, you don't notice it, I don't realize it when it's happening, but when people are hurt at the end of the day, and I turn out to be the cause, I end up agreeing to everything (coz then i have no reasons to give). Maybe we just need to realize...there are 2 sides to a coin, and learn to reciprocate to people's time, feelings and efforts, even if it might seem like a burden, if the friendhip/relationship is really worth it...we need to walk the extra mile!