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nightbender
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30 Mar 2008, 9:47 am

Is this common. The only people i can seem to form relationships with and the only people who i tend to attract have some form of mental illnes. Is something common for aspies



SeaBright
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30 Mar 2008, 12:09 pm

Maybe--what's normal?
What is illness?
What is order?
What is disorder?

'if' mental illness is contrasted to mental wellness it would appear to be a sickness has come upon what otherwise would be 'normal',

'if' Autism spectrum is a 'disorder' then it is a puzzle misarranged. Whereas 'normal' would be a puzzle correctly arranged. What is the image of the properly arranged puzzle?

Well, if WE knew THAT---we could have 90 percent less problems.

There in lies your answer. If you have aspergers-your not 'mentally ill'; your normal parts are not *sick or sickly-you have a dis organization of parts.

You say, "the mentally ill are attracted to me"--perhaps, they find you healing.
I suppose, you need to find someone who opposed to having normally functioning parts-which are sickly; is to find either someone who has normally functioning parts and is equipped to deal with your disordering of your own parts; or to find someone who also has a disorganization of parts and make the ...oppps gotta go the electritian has arrived..

toda!


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SeaBright
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30 Mar 2008, 12:51 pm

Anyways,

Story that will eventually point to a response to your question:

I had a teacher that would not so frequently elude to social psycial studies of law enforcement, fbi, psychology, ect. It was the whole peptide thing. That when people are 'in distance' of each other, something of an electro chemical occurance exchange occurs that sends messages to and from each person (maybe this is where our disorganizations are misread as organized?) sending identifying information of truth or lie, standing or diversion, ect ect. Where we get our fight or flight, perhaps.

So........anyways. I know 'I' am trusting and attracted to people with commonalities (of experience). That's it. Not specific experience; just shared experience. What it is usually reveals itself over time, but I usually don't know in advance, and will drop someone in a minute if in addition to that commonality they have a discommonality that is against for what I am about.

headache yet? sorry.

I'm thinking that your mentally ill chicks are attracted to you because they are misreading you as having 'commonality' with them--subconciously and all that.

Your very disorganizaition of, you know, your wiring, reads to them as an organization as something else.

Why do they think you like crazy, er, them?
Because your inital response of caring about them.
You don't know in advance that they are all f**ked up in ways that you are not ok with.
You had an initial connection-maybe subconsicously to who they are when they are not mentally ill, or who they couldhave been if this that or the other.

And NO ONE attracts more psychos than me. Because I attract EVERYONE. The psychos are just more forward and squeaky-they have less to lose. This isn't always the case, just 99% of the time. The other .05 percent of the time is someone perfect but for a stict liability no go-drugs, sex deviation, theft, anti law, severe illogical racism, that sort of thing. It's that one .05 percent--the most beautiful. Now that that is sad. Sadder I see them come and go and say and do--NOTHING. Nothing doesn't hurt as much as loss.

If I could give you my attract everyone attribute-I would. But the road to attaining it I wouldn't wish on you--so suffer, muh hah hah hah. Just kidding.

Seriously, I just think there are too many nutcases. Ones nutcase is anothers sane. Who's to say. I hope you find your mate though.

Maybe this will help, maybe not, for the sake of the chance that it is useful to you another comparision. (I learn by listening to others experiences and forming my own applied opinion of those experiences by forwarding an image of how I would feel in similar or modifyed situations based upon what I already know of myself and my reactions and feelings to things)

I NEVER approach the people I am truly attracted to, or the most precise matches. The closest I've come to is the next best thing. I think maybe you are doing the same thing. It is rejection and fear of course. The unknown. Unworthyness. Want to not pollute another with ourselves. Sad all around.


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jkrane
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30 Mar 2008, 6:01 pm

yes!

My open-mindedness often causes me to overlook certain things about a person, and I end up finding out 2-3 weeks into our acquaintanceship/friendship that they're completely f****d in the head!

I'm like a deliquent/nutcase magnet because these people don't judge me, and I don't judge them.

It's all about the environment you hang around in. For a while, I hung around in shady places, so I met shady characters. I had low expectations, so I got the lows.



BesideYouInTime
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30 Mar 2008, 6:58 pm

It could be various things. Maybe they sense you'll be more likely to put up with them. Maybe they think they can take
advantage of your trusting nature. Maybe they think that since you have your own problems you're a kindred spirit.



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31 Mar 2008, 8:41 pm

I can totally relate to your experience with attracting people with mental health disorders (bipolar, borderline personality disorder) either as friends or for dating/partners. Been there and done that a few times in my life! I agree with an earlier post that people pick up on our trustworthiness and our desire to be there to help. We are very compassionate people as a whole. For me, since I am a mental health therapist now (though this has happened all my life), I usually get people who seem fine for the first few times I meet them - they latch onto me very quickly and want to spend lots of time with me, which should be a red flag for me - then, they "confide" in me about their mental illness. Prior to my training as a therapist, I thought that I could handle having these people in my life, only to allow myself, without understanding completely what was happening, to get taken advantage of or used. Now, I try very hard to not allow this to happen. People do try to tell me that they have a mental health disorder after they find out I'm a therapist (I don't share my profession right away, or I may not), but I try to keep appropriate boundaries. It's pretty scary to think of how many people I let into my life who weren't necessarily good for me before I was trained as a therapist. It's still hard, but I'm learning.



Rainstorm5
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09 Apr 2008, 11:02 pm

nightbender wrote:
Is this common. The only people i can seem to form relationships with and the only people who i tend to attract have some form of mental illnes. Is something common for aspies


Hmmm... now that you mention it, I believe the same thing has always happened to me. Looking back over time, all of my 'close' friends have always been either bipolar, schizophrenic, ADHD, depressive or had some kind of personality disorder. I guess, like you, I seem to attract them somehow.


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