Please help me try to understand Aspergers

Post Reply New Topic

Hello! A nervous start. I'm 47 years old and think I may have Asperger's but am not sure. I did several online tests yesterday evening and they all said I have Aspergers. I hate talking about myself - it bores other people so I usually like to talk about anything other than me. However, can I ask a few questions about Aspergers please? I've got nobody else to ask. I'm in data acquisition and analysis mode finding out everything I can about Aspergers.

1) One website said people with Aspergers have difficulty with abstract thought - I don't seem to fit that description. From the age of around 11 I was putting together theories of metaphysics and the nature of the universe, life, the mind, God etc - surely that is abstract thinking? I used to bore my "friends" with my theories - at least that part seems to tally with Aspergers.

2) I can't stop counting and making geometrical shapes in my mind. I've done this as long as I remember. Every day I must count well up into the thousands, usually in groups of numbers 1-25 or 1-16 repeatedly. I create squares in my mind like an Etch-a-sketch tracing out the sides counting as I go, sometimes also a cube or other three dimensional shapes. I play games with myself making the shapes symmetrical in all directions and rotations. I don't know why this happens. Is this "normal" behaviour (for someone with Aspergers)?

3) Clumsiness. Some websites said Aspies have coordination problems. I don't have any such problems.

I seem to have all the other "symptoms" describing Aspergers apart from the lack of abstract thought and clumsiness. Is this "normal"?

Can anyone give me any feedback please? I've nobody else to ask. Does any of the above make sense to anyone?

I have aspergers and i'm a very abstract thinker.

Your number 2) definitely is an excessive obsession with numbers/mathematics, so yes on that one I would say.

Data acquisition/analysis/research...
hallmark of AS

Thank you for the feedback Morrissey. I'd love to know if anyone else has the same numeric "habit". Other "games" include twirling a finger imperceptibly (nobody has ever noticed or commented) and counting the rotations. Another game is counting from one arm across my chest to the other arm: lower arm=1, upper arm =2, chest =3, other upper arm =4 , other lower arm =5. Then back the opposite way going 6...10. I'm rarely aware this "game" is happening and sometimes catch myself well into the hundreds. This can lead to a mild irritation with myself and thoughts of "why am I doing this?".

Another question I'd like to ask about it attention/concentration. If a subject really interests me I can devote a vast amount of concentration and attention to it (I'm a self-employed professional software developer so the skill is very useful here) however, if a subject isn't interesting but I have to do it e.g. learn something or do something boring it is usually like facing a brick wall. My mind is as stubborn as a mule and just turns off - even if it is vital that I do or learn the boring thing. Is this part of Asperger's or something else? Sometimes playing classical music helps cajole the mind into compliance. Beethoven's Pastoral symphony is good in this respect. Is this "normal"?

Hi TallyMan, welcome!

Your concentration thing is something that I have been struggling with in school for quite a while. All too often, I am given a task, and I'm like "Yes!! I get to do [insert wicked-cool idea here]", but then the teacher shoots it down and says, "No, you have to do [insert not as cool and actually quite boring idea here]", and I get frustrated not only because of the sudden change, but also because of the fact that I'd perform far better if I were doing what I originally wanted to do. For instance, and Digital Media, we're tasked with making an animated computer model, and I wanted to do landmarks in The Lord of the Rings Film Trilogy with a camera giving a tour of the places. But NOOOOOOOOO, the teacher says I need an actual client and tells me not to do it. I have a big imagination that I want to show off, and restricting me in this way makes me feel limited and creatively depressed.

Nice to meet you, TallyMan.

Hi Kbabz

I know exactly what you mean. At University I only did the work I found interesting and skipped the rest. In retrospect I wish I'd found some way of motivating myself to do the boring stuff asked of me. But how? Still struggling with that one. I didn't know I'd got Asperger's at the time (still not sure if I've got it now but it looks likely) and my lecturers couldn't understand me or my "attitude".

To WrongPlanet!! !

Hello! A nervous start. I'm 47 years old and think I may have Asperger's but am not sure. I did several online tests yesterday evening and they all said I have Aspergers. I hate talking about myself - it bores other people so I usually like to talk about anything other than me. However, can I ask a few questions about Aspergers please? I've got nobody else to ask. I'm in data acquisition and analysis mode finding out everything I can about Aspergers.

1) One website said people with Aspergers have difficulty with abstract thought - I don't seem to fit that description. From the age of around 11 I was putting together theories of metaphysics and the nature of the universe, life, the mind, God etc - surely that is abstract thinking? I used to bore my "friends" with my theories - at least that part seems to tally with Aspergers.

2) I can't stop counting and making geometrical shapes in my mind. I've done this as long as I remember. Every day I must count well up into the thousands, usually in groups of numbers 1-25 or 1-16 repeatedly. I create squares in my mind like an Etch-a-sketch tracing out the sides counting as I go, sometimes also a cube or other three dimensional shapes. I play games with myself making the shapes symmetrical in all directions and rotations. I don't know why this happens. Is this "normal" behaviour (for someone with Aspergers)?

3) Clumsiness. Some websites said Aspies have coordination problems. I don't have any such problems.

I seem to have all the other "symptoms" describing Aspergers apart from the lack of abstract thought and clumsiness. Is this "normal"?

Can anyone give me any feedback please? I've nobody else to ask. Does any of the above make sense to anyone?

You sound like a good friend to us.

Welcome to WP!

Hi nimitzbrood

It's reassuring to hear of other people who play similar "games". I can relate to the fries counting. Almost everything I do is done by numbers. As for eating I always eat all the greens first, then all the potatoes then finally the meat. People have often commented that is strange, but I don't care. I always say it is good for the digestion to eat the meat last

I too have learned many social tricks and skills over the years. Nowadays I think most people don't realise there is anything "different" about me based on a few minutes of conversation. People who get to know me deeper say I'm a bit shy (or extrovert!) aloof, strange / weird and intense at times. I've also learned to (usually) spot that I'm boring people about a favourite subject - though I've not managed to get the speed down and shoot words faster than a machine gun - my mouth just doesn't work fast enough to convey information!

Regarding the clumsiness, I think there may actually be some things there I'd overlooked. Occasionally I do knock things over - especially if I'm trying to be quiet or careful! I've also got what the doc calls a "benign tremor" which has resulted in many a cup of coffee being scattered all over the place over the years. However, that may not be related. I'm a strong swimmer and swam several miles using breast stroke and back crawl but could never learn the front crawl (freestyle) there are just too many things to coordinate - legs, arms, head and breathing. It baffled me why my peers learned easily but I just thrashed about in the water going nowhere. Related perhaps?

As a child I also occasionally "forgot" breathing or walking. I had to make a conscious effort to breath in then breath out, or to put one leg forward then the other and so on. After a few minutes these things then returned to subconscious control. It was sort of "freaky" at the time needing to consciously do these things or they just didn't happen.

[quote="TallyMan"]Hello! A nervous start. I'm 47 years old and think I may have Asperger's but am not sure. I did several online tests yesterday evening and they all said I have Aspergers. I hate talking about myself - it bores other people so I usually like to talk about anything other than me. However, can I ask a few questions about Aspergers please? I've got nobody else to ask. I'm in data acquisition and analysis mode :-) finding out everything I can about Aspergers.

1) One website said people with Aspergers have difficulty with abstract thought - I don't seem to fit that description. From the age of around 11 I was putting together theories of metaphysics and the nature of the universe, life, the mind, God etc - surely that is abstract thinking? I used to bore my "friends" with my theories - at least that part seems to tally with Aspergers. :-)

2) I can't stop counting and making geometrical shapes in my mind. I've done this as long as I remember. Every day I must count well up into the thousands, usually in groups of numbers 1-25 or 1-16 repeatedly. I create squares in my mind like an Etch-a-sketch tracing out the sides counting as I go, sometimes also a cube or other three dimensional shapes. I play games with myself making the shapes symmetrical in all directions and rotations. I don't know why this happens. Is this "normal" behaviour (for someone with Aspergers)?

3) Clumsiness. Some websites said Aspies have coordination problems. I don't have any such problems.

I seem to have all the other "symptoms" describing Aspergers apart from the lack of abstract thought and clumsiness. Is this "normal"?

Can anyone give me any feedback please? I've nobody else to ask. Does any of the above make sense to anyone?[/quote] Hi I don't know if you have Aspergers, but I was married to a guy for 14 yrs who had Aspergers and we didn't know it. I loved him dearly and found him fascinating. I think it is great to get to know yourself, but please don't ever think you are deficient or wrong in anyway. Geometric shapes are great. If it gets in the way of something you want to do, then you will have to get a grip on it. Otherwise, enjoy your gift. My hubby played chess. We would go out to eat and he would make little chess boards on the napkins while we waited for our food. He had hypothyroidism, another symptom. He was obsessed with porn. Another wierd symptom. He had almost no social skills. Like farting in the middle of a cocktail party with the Supreme Court Justices (we were lawyers) When I told him I was filing for a divorce he said he was going grieve for 6 months and remarry in 2 years. I asked him if he had someone in mind. He said no. But he had read that was a good time line. He remarried in 2 yr. He was only married the 2nd time for 2 yrs. His 2nd wife was a whole 'nother story. He is very lonely and likes being married. He misreads people all the time. Most people think he is condescending. He is very very intelligent. Enough info??? Also, he always sniffed his underwear and socks after he took them off?? Never saw that one with anyone but him. I miss all of it.

Tally me Banana

Hello chesapeaker,

I've been married for 15 years. My wife thinks I'm "odd" but somehow loveable. I told her the other day I think I have Aspergers, she has taken it in her stride. Her only complaint is that talking about Aspergers and its symptoms has become my latest obsession She groans when I say the word "Aspergers" now so I've started to say people with "Asparagus" or people with "Aspidistra" instead. It makes her smile at least. I keep pointing out little habits I have that seem to be consistent with "asparagus".

One thing that does annoy her is my tendency to complete her sentences for her or answer questions before she has finished. If we have family visiting and I leap in and finish some item of news or a story for her she gets really mad.

I think she has helped me enormously over that last 15 years to be better at handling social occasions. I'm also a lot happier married than single.

[quote="TallyMan"]Hello chesapeaker,

I've been married for 15 years. My wife thinks I'm "odd" but somehow loveable. I told her the other day I think I have Aspergers, she has taken it in her stride. Her only complaint is that talking about Aspergers and its symptoms has become my latest obsession :roll: She groans when I say the word "Aspergers" now so I've started to say people with "Asparagus" or people with "Aspidistra" instead. It makes her smile at least. I keep pointing out little habits I have that seem to be consistent with "asparagus".

One thing that does annoy her is my tendency to complete her sentences for her or answer questions before she has finished. If we have family visiting and I leap in and finish some item of news or a story for her she gets really mad. :x

I think she has helped me enormously over that last 15 years to be better at handling social occasions. I'm also a lot happier married than single.[/quote] Thanks for your reply. One of the other things I remember is my ex took really long pauses when he was speaking. Most people were not patient with him. I never knew if it was his brain trying to gather information or a control thing. Who cares, it is water over the dam. I don't think you should label yourself either. Every last person on earth is screwed up in some way. So I guess that is normal. I am glad I got out of the marriage when I did. It was a mistake for me. My ex and I were both lawyers, and I think he was always afraid I was smarter than he, which of course was silly. But brilliant he was, is, but socially ret*d he is, too. Oh well. I am 60 and he is 54, we can't last much longer!! ! Ha Ha