Hello, my name is Jack, and I'm 19. After months of research, I feel like I might have Asperger's. My mom always gets mad at me for trying to find my "problem" as she doesn't think I'm "crazy". The thing is... I don't think I'm crazy.. I just think I can be a little different sometimes, especially to other people. I am often very shy around others as I don't want to be judged or rejected. I have been diagnosed with ADD, bipolar disorder, dyslexia, and depression. One of my friends at boarding school just recently said he thinks I am manic.This is a really long list, you dont have to read all of it, but here are some of the oddites I thought of when it comes to me even though they seem pretty normal to me. Could someone please point out the things i listed that really scream out asperger's?
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It is usually hard for me to socialize with friends/ others about topics that aren’t interesting to me. I get bored or lost easily and my mind starts to wonder, but sometimes I just observe.
When a topic is being discussed that interests me, I immediately jump into the conversation or have a huge urge to say something.
I have few hobbies that interest me.
Though I haven’t noticed myself doing this much lately, at school during class or in between and on my spare time I would make organized lists divided in categories of things I wanted. For example, there have been periods where I can’t decide what video game console I want, so would make detailed lists of each platform of things I would buy for it. If I made a mistake I would start over on a new sheet of paper. Also, I would often use abbreviations of the titles (MGS for metal gear solid) so people wouldn’t think of me as some kind of obsessed nerd.
I’m very imaginative. At boarding school, I would sneak into the woods to be alone because I enjoyed the freedom and loved to explore. Staff always had trouble finding me. Sometimes I often imagine being famous (a celebrity, video game designer, musician) and pretend someone is interviewing me and I respond in my head and carry a conversation knowing it’s not real- but still feeling the excitement.
When I read/see something that overwhelms or excites me I sometimes get up to pace around the room. For example, earlier today when I read things about Asperger's syndrome that related to me, I would get off the computer and walk around my room with racing thoughts in my head, excited and would talk to myself pretending I was talking during a presentation or a interview in front of a group of people. . I sometimes do this when I’m on the computer and an exciting thought comes to my mind and I have to get up and do something like look in the mirror or walk around the room.
My parents think that me being alone or staying in my room is not normal. They think I’m depressed, and usually I lie and say I am or use it as an excuse sometimes, when really I enjoy being alone.
I sometimes get bored of being alone and crave for attention. When I want attention I usually act weird and use a lot of hand jesters.
I am often confused about a lot of things such as myself, others, and just life in general.
Dog barking really irritates me.
I never pick up the phone and I hate the ringing noise it makes. Also, when my cell phone rings I am very picky about whom I want to talk to. If it’s someone I don’t feel like talking to I won’t pick up. Even if it’s someone I’m not even mad at. For example, a good friend of mine left a really nice message saying how she missed me, how she would like to hear from me and that it’s okay if I’m not able to call her back. It’s not that I don’t want to talk to her, it’s just I feel like it’s an interference of what I’m doing at the moment, even though I’m usually not doing anything too important at all.
I am very irritated by interruptions when I am doing something alone.
I am always looking at mirrors and at reflections during the day of myself making adjustments to my hair. I try to do this in privacy as I don’t want to look vane - usually I take my time adjusting my hair until I am satisfied. When I can’t get it to look good, I tend to get frustrated. When I get my hair to look good I tend to feel better about myself. I always have to adjust me hair when I confront people.
Sometimes I’ll be on the computer checking my email or something and a thought will randomly come to mind of what I might of said in a previous encounter with someone that day. I will all of a sudden get embarrassed and say something out loud like “s**t!” or “I’m so stupid!” I only do this when I’m alone.
I am constantly worried about what others think of me and that I might say the wrong things in a conversation. Sometimes I’ll go on and on about as topic and I won’t really get a response even if it’s with my close friend. Then I’ll ask them I’m weirding them out.
When I’m in the car listening to music with my windows up I always turn of the music at red lights even if there aren’t other cars around. Once it turns green, I turn the music back on. I have to listen to it while I am driving. When I feel like I’m having a okay day I will roll the windows down I play a song I like so everyone can hear while driving.
I have trouble sleeping at night and I’m quite active during the night. I don’t go to bed until 2 or 3 in the morning.
Sometimes I get really hyper and my mom will ask me something, but I respond by yelling in a silly voice. I also will stomp and jump around. My mom tends to get annoyed with this.
I love to draw and my mom wants to make me a label for her honey she has made. The opportunity seems exciting to me, but when I’m asked to do it I get very irritated because for some reason it is a interference for me so I always procrastinate it.
People often think I am unmotivated or lazy. Like when it came time to look for jobs. It took me forever to go out and do it. I really wanted a job (and still do), but was scared to confront people or being rejected or judged. I finally went after four weeks of being worried.
I always look at the time.
I always mispronounce words and make spelling errors. When speaking, people always correct me and I always feel like an idiot.
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Ok I’ll stop right there because I could probably go on and on and rant about stuff. I'm sure there are things I've left out or things I do that i just cant explain. I feel normal when I'm alone... usually I feel different when i'm out in public. Could someone please tell me what you think?
Last edited by snickrep on 02 Apr 2008, 4:53 pm, edited 3 times in total.
02 Apr 2008, 4:32 pm
