Ana54 wrote:
Wow, lots of people like me.
I used to carry pepper spray everywhere including to school and sleep with it and was upset when I lost it, the only way I could calm myself down was looking at ready.gov, I refused to inhale exhaust and would take a huge gulp of air when I saw a car coming in the distance and would only let it out after the car had passed, because I believed that our brain cells didn't regenerate. I obsessed over how to improve airport security and make it actually work. After I saw Million Dollar Baby I felt awful and more paranoid, about getting paralysed and stuff like that. I practised hiding plastic and wooden shanks under my clothes for in case I had to go somewhere with metal detectors. (this was before I realized I could just fold the safety information card on a plane in half or roll it up and cut it with little kid's safety scissors so that it had a blade. Using the right movements, it would be better, and much bigger, than my 8 plastic knives that I planned to hold in one hand and use as a weapon.
That sounds a lot like me. Although, I never took as much action about it as you did. I often worry about getting killed and paralyzed and stuff like that, but I never took blades and pepper spray around with me and stuff. But paralysis is my biggest fear. from the head down.
Have you heard that Metallica song, "One"? Thats a hard rocking song but its about one of my fears. A guy that gets his arms and legs blown off by a landmine, and ends up not being able to see, hear, or talk. Absolutly horrible.