'How are you?'

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Do other people find it annoying when people ask 'how are you?' as a customary part of the greeting?

I mean, it is polite, so it shows that people are concerned about you (well, they can ask it anyway, but at least it shows they've made an effort), but you wonder how much they actually care, seeing as you're going to answer 'fine thanks' anyway. I'm happy enough just to say 'hello'. I only really need to be asked if I am feeling upset or I'm angry or crying (and then the question should be 'what's the matter?' or something like that).

Anyway, I've found it's okay if you forget to say 'and you?' after saying 'fine thanks' as long as you usually ask how they are and don't forget too often.

Well, I think that's correct

I've confused myself now. I'm tired. Time for bed

Last edited by Greyhound on 11 Apr 2008, 6:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I alway respond to "How are you?" with "How are you?", and leave it at that.

Golly, who comes up with these colloquialisms?

"How are you" is a stupid question, because as you said, nobody actually cares how you are. They only ask to be polite. I used to put thought into the question, but now i just reply "fine". I don't even ask how they are, which i'm sure seems impolite but i really don't care.

Did you know that in British culture (I am British), the correct response to the phrase "How do you do" is "How do YOU do", and it is considered traditionally impolite not to say "How do you do" as it is to respond with anything but the same.

I'm British too. I didn't know you had to put emphasis on the 'you' in the reply, but I don't think anyone's ever said 'how do you do?' to me before. 'How do you do?' is quite formal and usually accompanies a handshake I think, in which case, yes I think I would say 'how do you do?' in return, but not with emphasis on the 'you' in the reply.

I'm tired. I really really must go to bed now!

oh yeah, it's not impolite not to emphasise "you", but traditionally the responding party would emphasise. It is a dying greeting now, but you may encounter that particular greeting if you happen to have a high profile job or you go to a job/university interview.

I need not worry about that particular phrase then

I agree 100%. If I try to pin someone down with the fact that they really don't want to know how I am, that they are just saying that, they will swear up and down that yes, they really, really do want to know how I am.

I actually did that to a co-worker once. Then, the next time I saw him, AFTER I told him what a terrible morning I had had, he went ahead and said, "How are you?" as I came into his office. I was all "gotcha" and he was embarrassed and changed the subject quickly.

I hate being asked that question. It's good that they care, but the thing that I don't like, is that they expect me to tell them, that I'm doing fine. What if I'm not doing fine, when they ask me? I've been working very hard, to maintain my Cockney Spirit, for the past 12 days. The next person to ask me that, in real life, will have it coming to them.

I never really gave it much thought, and just respond "fine" as if I were giving any rote answer to any question.

I like asking people how they are. For one, it's a great conversation starter, and for two... Well, I'm probably one of the few people who genuinely wants to know how someone is!

Kind of starting to like the japanese way where you talk about the weather - much more neutral, no falsification of feelings happening, s'all good.

Usually people here want something from "Not bad - pretty good"

Nowdays I just say "fine" or "okay", but (before I got tired of the odd looks) I used to give strange answers, such as "medium rare".

I just realized a few days ago that when people ask that question it's just a formality and that often they don't want an honest answer. I always answered however much I wanted to tell. Oops. XD

I always ask it in conversations, but I acutally want to know so perhaps that's why I always assumed everyone else did too.

I never really liked the greeting myself, if you take it literally, it puts you on the spot (which I did for a short time when it first became prevelant). Now I usually just respond with a "hey" and keep walking.

I say it along with most american's. It's just like hi, good to see you or hi I acknowledge your existence. Nothing more than that.

I hate it, but I try to make myself do it. It's easier to do in email or even over the phone than in person, but it's always uncomfortable.