I must say, I do this too. I basically worship former Iron Maiden singer Blaze Bayley. Then again, what happened was that his voice is so unique and powerful, and his lyrics talk about being the underdog, standing your ground, standing up for what you believe in, even when it feels as if the whole world is against you. It taught me to always be strong, never back down. The music taught me principle, honor, and strength, and never let my dreams die. I remember when I had finally decided to take my life about a year ago, I decided to listen to my favorite album of his one more time before my honourable death (Seppeku, aka, belly slicing, or impaling oneself through the stomach with a Katana... and yes, I was going to do this
).
The music, his lyrics, and his voice were so powerful, that I stopped right then and there fell to my knees with tears pouring from my eyes. They were not tears of misery, but rather tears of passion, tears joy, and tears of the determination a man who was revived and had found the courage to stand up once more, and not give up. And ever since that moment, I have become a stronger, more intelligent, a more determined and disciplined person since then.
Anyone who can bring someone back to life from their own oblivion while being more than 1,000 miles away truly is a powerful being, one that is awe inspiring, and truly "The Messiah" (as they actually do call him, after his "Silicon Messiah" Album) and a savior. I have had the honor of talking to him many a time in my career. I've never had the chance to tell him that. And I hope that someday, I'll have the courage to tell him. I'm just afraid of the idea that he might consider me to be a nut job and get scared. To have that happen would be the death of me, the destruction of a very vital part of my foundation.
I don't know whether it's the aspie in me that's obsessive or not. Anyone can become obsessed with someone, especially when that person has saved their lives, moved them in ways unimaginable. Perhaps since I am an Aspie and am more sensitive and have deeper emotions, perhaps he was able to move me more... or maybe he's just has that powerful of an impact. Either way, I'm not ashamed of it and have no reason to be. They call me obsessed, I call it adamantly dedicated.