How do you do it?

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Err, yeah. I am, for all intents and purposes, a social isolate. With no close friends, the only time I spend with my peers is during class time, and it gets me thinking about the future. I'll be going to University later this year and I'm hoping that I'll meet some like-minded people who will become good friends.

But I'm probably being unrealistic. Being brutally honest, I don't have any real interests, apart from football, that other people my own age are interested in. Nor do I have much of a sense of humour - my 'jokes' are usually either misinterpreted or ignored. Hrrm. What's more, I have about as much sporting ability and coordination as a boiled jellyfish so sport activites are pretty much out.

This might not be a problem for some people, but it depresses me like hell. I like to be around people, have meaningful social interaction and most importantly, be accepted as part of a group. I've had no close friends for 3 years and the longer it goes on, the longer it depresses me. But being the type of person I am, I'm not ready to throw in the towel. I like to treat each new day as a new opportunity, and each failed opportunity as a learning experience, but nothing's happened yet. I've spent years trying to bridge the gap between myself and everyone else but the other side is always just out of reach.

To those of you who are in a similar situation, how do you cope without getting thoroughly depressed, frustrated and bored with life? Thanks in advance, Hodor.

If you ever figure out the answer to that one let me know, I don't have an answer because I just end up getting bored, angry, frustrated and depressed, I resorted to smoking weed and have switched to a legal high alternative, getting stoned at this point is litterally the only thing that gives me the energy to get through the day, its the one thing i look forward to, how depressing is that?

You could start an AS support group on campus and consider joining groups that deal with special interests so you can ramble endlessly about them???Neither is guaranteed successes but would be worth trying. I find that people who like some of the same things I do are more excepting of my "oddities"

Going to science-fiction conventions could be fun. Or joining a live-action role play group.

Give up. I've had to do it.

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Hobbies are for people who cannot do sports, and a person who keeps up, our talent for becoming experts, can become a main figure. It is through service to others we become useful, which is better than being useless.

aikido and WoW

Role-playing is one of the best past-times an Aspie could have! I speak from experience.

- D

Whatever you do, don't give up.

I'm in a similar situation at the moment. Very similar, in fact. The only thing I can suggest is to put yourself in a position where you're likely to meet people. Look for a local Dungeons & Dragons group, or [insert subject of interest, no matter how nerdy, here]. You never know what you might find. I recently made a few friends who I think I might become quite close to *hopes* by attending a computer science summer school in January. It was a tough nine days, being away from home and among that many people, but it was well worth it.

You could even start right here. Add me, if you like, on MSN (my address is [email protected]). I know we share at least two interests, linguistics and fantasy, so I'm sure we'll find something to talk about.

But the most important thing is never give up.

Thanks for all the replies, I didn't expect so many. Well I feel better today, I spent the whole day with the family, got some exercise and had generally less to gripe about.

Several of you mention things like science fiction conventions and role-playing. I have to admit I'm not much of a science fiction guy; never even watched all the Star Wars films (shocking) but maybe it's an interest waiting to be discovered. I might give it a go - thanks for the suggestion.

Not such a bad idea. The Uni I'm going to has something like 150 societies, so there should be at least one that caters towards my strange interests. If not, I could start one. Membership free, of course.



I'm on Facebook already. Don't really speak to people that much though; most of my friends are people I knew from school who I never got on with much in the first place. I'll challenge anyone to a game of Scrabble or Scramble (http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=515188093 - be prepared for some serious ass whoopage )



Don't know much about it, I'll have to find out more about it.



I used to play RuneScape (a poor man's WoW) but got disillusioned by MMORPGs. I do still keep in contact with some friends I made on RS but I don't want to go back to sitting in front of a computer screen for 4+ hours a day.

PS. Aseld - I've added you.

Being different has afforded me the opportunity to meet some very unique individuals. I can't say that my life is like that of others, or that I don't wish it could be in some ways, but I have experienced some pretty cool stuff. I think you will too. College life may not be traditional for you, but I suspect they'll be very good years nonetheless.

Study groups are a wonderful tool at College. It puts you in a known social situation with a group of people from your class. You don't necessarily have to share other interests. I also found they helped my terrible time management by letting other people tell me when to study. If you pick people in your major, you may have a study group that floats from class to class. Try to take the same classes as friends you've made especially if the possibility of group projects exist.

College is a common interest for people at college; there is common ground in complaining about too much, too hard work (sad but true) Pay attention if you notice the same person in multiple of your classes that alone is room to strike up a conversation. If you miss class take the opportunity to strike up a conversation with someone to ask for notes.

Look into the activities, I'm not terribly athletic, but I'm tall with long arms so I make a decent fencer. If you have a knack for teaching, you can also make friends and money tutoring.

I'll try to think of other advice, but I remember college fondly by luck rather than skill.