In the United Kingdom there's no point "opening up"

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Perambulator
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24 Apr 2008, 11:34 am

It annoys me that news items and charities suggest that people with Asperger's syndrome or other Autistic Spectrum Disorders or people who suffer from anxiety, or depression or some such mental distress should "open up" and "talk about their feelings".

The truth is if you talk to most people about your feelings the likely response is something like, "Mail it to yesterday when I might have cared."

British people don't have many feelings. We're a nation of cold bastards. Not that I don't love my country. I'm patriotic, I'd rather live in Britain than anywhere in the world. I just flipping wish we all had New England accents and didn't look so inbred.



Perambulator
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24 Apr 2008, 11:36 am

But you know what sucks. We're not cold bastards in a likeable way, us Brits. We're cold bastards in the worst way. In a flipping holier than thou I've got a rod up my arse kind of way. If we could be cold bastards in an Einsteinian way I wouldn't mind too much. Tararararaaa



sinsboldly
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24 Apr 2008, 11:42 am

Perambulator wrote:
It annoys me that news items and charities suggest that people with Asperger's syndrome or other Autistic Spectrum Disorders or people who suffer from anxiety, or depression or some such mental distress should "open up" and "talk about their feelings".

The truth is if you talk to most people about your feelings the likely response is something like, "Mail it to yesterday when I might have cared."

British people don't have many feelings. We're a nation of cold bastards. Not that I don't love my country. I'm patriotic, I'd rather live in Britain than anywhere in the world. I just flipping wish we all had New England accents and didn't look so inbred.


oh, honey! I have LIVED in New England and they have the SAME PROBLEM, cold baastids!
and they only married each other, so the inbred thing still applies.

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Perambulator
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24 Apr 2008, 11:53 am

Well maybe the problem is the same everywhere. Lots of charities and universities and other places issuing guidance are being hypocritical. They give the impression is that most people are decent and willing to adapt to people with a different state of mind.

Why won't anyone tell the truth? Most people hate anyone who's not happy most the time and you gotta be the same as everyone else. No there aren't many nice people in the world. When I've ever opened up to someone they just change the subject or walk away.



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24 Apr 2008, 11:58 am

Its totally a problem all over! My school has free consoling, for instance. For everyone by the way, AS, NTs, and those with other illnesses as well. I usually see a psychologist there.

Though when I wanted to talk with other students there, the secretary more or less told me that no one wants to talk to me anyways



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24 Apr 2008, 12:01 pm

There's not much point anywhere.



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24 Apr 2008, 12:16 pm

i fully agree people in england are always busy complaining but apparrently we are second only to the french but i digress, england is very money orientated and in my opinio0n we are "cold bastards" not to mention the pointless and racist comments i hear everyday from mates in school



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24 Apr 2008, 12:20 pm

Perambulator wrote:
But you know what sucks. We're not cold bastards in a likeable way, us Brits. We're cold bastards in the worst way. In a flipping holier than thou I've got a rod up my arse kind of way. If we could be cold bastards in an Einsteinian way I wouldn't mind too much. Tararararaaa


Do tell topic

Perambulator (Pram) I have noticed in my life journey that people have to start off as friends before they open up. I have not been close to anyone since I was a teen, unless it has been my own children, whom I would rather not burden. Even here at WP it is hard to open up so I do not bother. Many people my age on this site have had a lot of substance abuse issues that I have never had, so I do not know what to say to them. Most young people prefer to talk to peers. I find I make a lot of stand alone comments, hoping that someone will see this as an ice-breaker but I suppose not. Everyone has their own problems, and perhaps they just like to be alone, which is like me 90% of the time.

I have found volunteering at an ongoing event/charity is a way of talking while you work, which is easiest for me to open up. :)
Good luck, Perambulator


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lelia
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24 Apr 2008, 1:04 pm

Ditto to Sartresue.



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24 Apr 2008, 3:07 pm

Not disagreeing about the British, but also wondering if most of the "Western World" isn't more or less the same. True, there's a 'coldness', also there's the underlying hypocracy.

Mind you, the British are masters of subtle but crucial social status cues. I think thats a problem with much charitable work. The people join charitable organisations to (unconsciously - well they won't admit openly to it ) further there own social status. If confronted by someone with an affliction, they refuse to give an ounce of leeway.

Oh yeah, for such a cold nation, what was all that Princess Diana malarky about? Proof that many Brits will show more feelings towards a (virtual) fictional character than the real people around them.


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Taimaat
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24 Apr 2008, 3:22 pm

Since everyone is going to be hypocritical anyway, why don't we just promote the idea that everyone should be cold bastards and not care about other people. That would save me a lot of issues.


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Perambulator
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24 Apr 2008, 3:50 pm

I'm sorry I was so miserable. I feel a bit better now. At times I become so hopeless I think there are almost no good people left.

Thankfully I realise there are and you're all among them. I suppose it's time I volunteer for some voluntary work. I'm dreading it because I fear I won't get along with others or perform the tasks adequately but, nothing ventured nothing gained.

Besides a life spent doing things wrong is much more worthwhile than a life spent doing nothing. At least I'll have learned something in the end.



Tequila
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25 Apr 2008, 7:23 am

That's because people tend to be like that here. It leads to feeling rather closed in I guess.



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25 Apr 2008, 11:25 am

I disagree.

People in England should treat you very nicely regardless of your condition. They are wonderful.

There have been some people who have said it depends on where you go in England, but it doesn't matter to me. I think it's a wonderful city.

My roommate's close friend was at a coffee shop in England on her way to Africa, and she liked it.

I'm not sure why people generalize England like that!


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aninimous
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25 Apr 2008, 9:32 pm

On the contrary, my co-workers in England were very nice and friendly. My boss was also 100% okay with my social anxiety!

I think the best way to describe the English (to me) in general was they're more reserved than people in North America (Canada and the USA). You don't make as a big a show of your emotions, but that doesn't mean you don't have them. Also, the sense of humour is different, a very dry wit.

As for the complaining, I do have to concede on that, my friends complained about everything (if it was raining it sucked, it it was sunny it sucked!).



larsenjw92286
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25 Apr 2008, 9:38 pm

Where are you from?

By the way, I've seen some British TV, more specifically nighttime shows and the hosts are very excitable on them!

It's very difficult to describe British humor. I am a member of an almost exclusive British forum, I told them about this and they told me why they were that way.

I still don't understand it, though.


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