Relationships

Post Reply New Topic

I'm scared, I think my girlfriend is going to dump me soon. She never wants to spend time with me and everytime i'm not around I feel like I am unwelcome. I asked for us to spend some personal time together, maybe organise a date; btu she says she is too busy, yet she is organising events with one of her toher friends who hates my guts and who is always bitching at me. My girlfriend ignores it and when asked does not acknowledge that that she has done anything wrong. Yet if I were to do the same then I would most likely get inot trouble. Any Suggestions

What does she like?

If you don't want to keep the relationship, that's something else. . .

But if you want to keep the relationship, make yourself more precious to her than her friends. Bring her roses, suprise her, work a little harder to make her happy. If that's not worth it to you, well. . probably not so much with keeping the relationship.


As far as addressing the unfair behavior--

This will probably be more productive if you do it when the relationship is strong. I've read in a lot of places that in order to have a healthy relationship, it's important to have at least seven or eight positive interactions for every negative one; that seems to be what it takes for most people to feel loved and be able to really deal with the bad stuff well.

When she knows how important she is to you, and how much you are willing to positively work to show that to her, it will probably be easier for her to open up about why she's doing the things that bother you. Even if she never understands why they bother you so much, if she can see how hard you work to understand her and to make her happy and she's reaping the benefits, she'll probably be willing to modify the behavior anyway.


I know this sounds a little lopsided, but you mentioned being worried about being dumped. . . I think in an ideal relationship, both people would pretty much be doing this all the time, but if you're trying to recessutate one, it seems like the goal is to pull more than your weight until she realizes that she wants to do the same.