possibly facing a pregnancy in a complicated relationship

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oh boy

this girl ive been seeing for the past two months is involved in a relationship thats gone bad, with a guy from another school, ive mentioned this before. she hasn't broken up with him yet because she thinks it would literally kill him because of all he is going through with school and some personal issues.

the guy came to visit this weekend and she seemed very unhappy, my friend who was with her for part of the day said that she looked like the wanted to cry the whole time, the guy doesn't like to do anything fun at all, i don't even know why she started dating him in the first place. i know what she and i have isn't just some fling. she was going to break up with him today while he was here, one reason she hasn't done it yet is because she wanted to do it in person.

and oh boy, last night he was very drunk and did something very bad, very stupid, and very irresponsible which may have gotten her pregnant. she has gone ahead and used a plan b pill and there is a very good chance that she will have nothing to worry about.

this whole situation is just so strange, the boyfriend, the possible pregnancy, i almost don't want to be involved with her at all because of it, but at the same time she hasn't done anything wrong at all, and i keep thinking that if i get out of it i will regret it very much.

I know i wont leave her at least not until the end of the school year. but the whole weekend i was thinking that i would if she didnt break up with him this weekend, i realize that some people must think its pretty ridiculous that she hasn't and im starting to feel so weird being that guy, but things are different now.

I've been comforting her online for the past half hour (id be with her right now, but shes going to eat dinner and hang out with her best friend in a bit, which is good for her) telling her everything is going to be okay, but I'm still very worried about it. i don't really have anyone where i am who i can talk to about these sort of things, has anyone had experiences similar to these?

Let me get this straight. she's cheating with you, on a guy she's still sleeping with and you're buying her "I'm really going to break up with him" stories?

Dude - take a step back from this situation and look at what's actually happening here.

I speak from experience - I was once young and dumb enough to get caught up in this kind of pathetic drama myself. No good can come of it. You will end up looking and feeling the foolish dupe, and rightly so. Don't be someone else's sock puppet - walk away.

Of course, I know you'll do no such thing, but now you can't say nobody warned you.

I cannot say this often or emphatically enough - THERE ARE WORSE THINGS IN LIFE THAN BEING ALONE.

well, if there is a child and you have been intimate with her GET A DNA TEST, PRONTO!
They can do it in utero now.

how can only one person getting drunk and not using a condom be at fault, unless it was rape?

and remember, you are only hearing one side of the story.

Willard, I've considered the fact that she could be just fooling around with me, and i doubt she is, if you knew her, you would probably understand. but i definitely wont continue with her once school is finished if she hasn't broken up with him by then, it would truly be foolish to do something like that.

sinsboldly, theres no way i could have impregnated her, i we havent had intercourse for almost two weeks, and when we have its always been with protection.

he was drunk, she was just buzzed, and she didnt realize he didnt have a condom on until he was inside her, which from what i understand lasted only a second. though she didnt say that exactly, the way she worded it led me to believe that was the case, i know how very conscious she is about safe sex. if it lasted for any longer a length of time and she knew about it i would walk away without looking back.

in any case, I'll have to talk to her more about it, we only talked about it briefly, hopefully I'll see her soon.

GET

OOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!! !! !! !! !! !

for our own sanity and health, and to avoid a possible violent act with the boyfriend,

Forget her

Dont talk to her again

What kind of person is someone in two relationships???!

Dude, seriously, if I were near you I'd beat the crap out of you until you understand this

you can't know what people is going to do, so, seriously, get out of that "relationship", which will bring nothing good, as you can already see by creating this thread...
I said "relationship" because this isn't a relationship, it's more of a drama, and seriously, get out and avoid the boyfriend, you've already seen the way he acts, so get out.

She has family.

DNA YOU 2!!

Are serious?

All I can say is I feel sorry for the child, they didn't ask to be born by idiots. That sounds mean of me, but this is what happens when you're with someone who's already in a "relationship." The same thing will probably happen to you as it did the abusive boyfriend.

there's a biological imperative once a woman finds herself pregnant..."I can't do this alone". She's going to be under a lot of pressure (well, she would around these parts) to formalize the relationship somehow. I think (but can't prove), that she's also having feelings about making sure there's a father (of some sort) there for the child. It's a biological process; any mother will tell you pregnancy makes you crazy at times.

Be a friend if you must, but unless you want to fill some really big daddy shoes, be very certain of what you're getting into.

She sounds like an irresponsible idiot to me.

Seriously, why do you want to continue with her?


Don't see her anymore.


And as Pakled said, are you ready to be a father?
Will you leave school and work for the three of you?

read people he said she used plan B she probably won't be having a baby
oh and don't give her that long tell her that you don't want to get between her and him and that if she wants to be with you to stop dating/sleeping with him

Even if there is no pregnancey, there's bound to be things going wrong like unplanned pregnancey, diseases, fights, anything. This doesn't sound stable at all and it doesn't sound like a real realationship so to speak. I'm not demonizing her but if she really loved you, she should have left the abusive guy she's with already. It also makes me question the type of person she is for staying in this chaotic relationship. If of course there's more to this story, then post it. Sometimes people attract eachother for the wrong reasons.

ooh, kids! what can I say but it only takes one second to change everyones life forever!

I'm with ComputerLove. Put on your running shoes and GO! If she has not had a period between the time you had sex ("protected" or not) with her you are in the gene pool. I have no idea how you feel about fatherhood, but you might want to chose the mother of your child rather than have her thrust upon you. Watch a week of the Court shows on TV or perhaps the scare technique of Jerry Springer if you want to know where it leads.
Good luck

Merle

Typically, drama is a recipe for disaster. When I was younger, I thought that to be in the midst of drama was better than to be alone. Now I would much rather be alone than deal with any amount of avoidable drama. Life is f***ed up enough as it is, even when you're not asking for trouble. To be clear, getting involved with a girl who has another boyfriend is asking for trouble, especially if the guy is as unstable as he sounds.

As you describe it, it sounds like she may be scared and to scared to break up with her ex.

I think the other guy purposely tried to get her pregent because he knew she was going to break up with him, it might have been rape??

I'd take a step back and just be friends with her, sounds like she is going to need some space anyway.

Tell her that if she wants to be with you she is going to have to break up with that other guy, she should have done that before getting involved with you anyway. Another thing you may have run in's with the other guy, if she doesn't break up with him.

How much do you like this girl anyway? Sounds like you are having second thoughts. You are really going to have to ask yourself is it worth it.

Don't make someone elses problems your own. If she does get pregnent to him, IT'S NOT YOURS!!, I personally would leave her. It's not your problem. You have not done anything wrong, you don't have any reason to stick by her. But I would stay friends with her, if she needs support.