Do you find that people like to talk at you a lot?

Post Reply New Topic

Here is an example - a person that I know called me tonight and proceeded to talk at me for two and a half hours about, as I could tell, four topics:
1) a problem she is having with the person her daughter is married to
2) a person we both know's vacation
3) how unfair life is in general
4) how much she hates her job

Now, the way that my brain works the reason that you bring up a topic for two reasons 1) is if someone can do something about it - like if I knew her daughter then maybe I could talk to her about this person she has married - this even works for me when I get depressed - if I call someone about that I want something very specific (i.e. to hear their voice or to be in their presence for a little while - but it is never 'just to talk')
2) is if a person has specific information about a topic - I think that is the purpose of this board - to share the specific information our lives have given us about this disorder, but more concrete examples are that I would call one of my favorite people to be around if I were selling my house because he is a realator, I would call his father in law if I needed a lawyer because he is one, another person I know repairs computers, so if I need information about computers I call her . . .
And I am more than happy to do things for other people - like I love to find things online for people and to do things for people - but, again, these are specific things - i.e. 'My husband would really like a gold ring for his birthday, here is his size and what I am looking for, can you find it for me?' or 'I've really got too much to do right now - could you go to the store and get this for me?' or 'I can't figure out why my cat is acting this way, what do you think might be going on?'

However, NTs seem to feel differently - it seems to give them some pleasure to work through ideas with other people to excess . . . and for some reason they think that I'm a good person to do this with - I guess because I'm looking for a solution . . . but then they tell me I'm not emotional enough - for example, during this two and a half hour conversation this person said 'Well, you just don't know what it is like to have children . . .' and I said 'Of course I don't, but I've read about how people react in situations like this and I don't think you are experiencing anything really abnormal . . .' - I don't know what it is like to have kids and I certianly don't know what it is like to experience emotions related to them since I don't experience the range of emotions an NT adult does on a regular basis, much less related to children . . . I just don't get it . . .

People do that a lot! They call me a "great listener" when I have no interest in what they're saying and they go on and on. Example: Somebody I barely know goes on and on about their boyfriend/girlfriend. They ask me questions and then answer them. It annoys me.

yes, and i'm considered a good listener.

however, i give as good as i get......

V