Emotion Management - Info from Attwood conference

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Smelena
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19 May 2008, 4:26 am

Hello All,

I attended a conference on 14th May 2008 presented by Tony Attwood and Michelle Garnett. I met Szygish which was great!

I will post some of the notes here. However I am going to spend time working on my website so won't be on WrongPlanet much over the next few weeks. Feel free to e-mail me if you have any queries.

Helen

Emotion Management

People with Asperger's Syndrome commonly experience high levels of anxiety and stress.

Two out of three people with Asperger's Syndrome have a problem with anger management. Sadness and anxiety are often expressed as anger.

Therefore, it is important for people with Asperger's to find ways to recognise and manage their emotions.

My sons have undergone Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). I've noticed some people on WrongPlanet fear CBT - probably because they're not sure about what it involves.

CBT is about using thinking strategies and behavioural strategies to manage anxiety/anger. For example: a thinking strategy is changing a poisonous thought ("I'm dumb") by using an antidote ("I think differently to others"). Behaviour is changed to better cope with anxiety/anger. For example, my sons used to yell at me or punch me when they were angry. Now they will go jump on the trampoline or ride their bike.



Last edited by Smelena on 19 May 2008, 4:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

Smelena
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19 May 2008, 4:29 am

To recognise emotions, an emotional thermometer is used. There are separate thermometers for different emotions eg Anger Thermometer, Anxiety ("worry") Thermometer, Happy Thermometer etc

Photographs and words are placed at the appropriate point on the thermometer.

My sons have their own emotional thermometers and the scale is from 0 - 10. One of my sons likes to put his thermometer under his arm while he takes a reading.

Recognition of emotions is often a problem with people with Asperger's Syndrome. People with Asperger's Syndrome will need to be taught to recognise the physical signs of anger and anxiety eg Anxiety - butterflies in stomach, breathing faster, heart beating faster etc.

Once emotions are recognised, it is imperitive to know how to deal with these emotions.



Smelena
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19 May 2008, 4:30 am

Tony Attwood has developed an 'Emotional Toolbox: To Fix The Feeling'.

The first tool in the toolbox is Physical Activity Tools. This enables a quick release of emotional energy. For example: walking, running, trampoline, drumming, sewing, squeezing an orange, punching a punchbag.

My oldest son practices his Taekwondo forms when he becomes anxious. My second son likes to ride his bicycle, go skateboarding or go for a walk.

The second tool in the toolbox is Relaxation Tools. This allows a slow release of emotional energy. For example: Relaxation training, music, solitude, massage, comedy programs, repetitive action, sleep

My oldest son loves listening to music. My second son enjoys reading Garfield.

The third tool in the toolbox is Social Tools. For example: time with a family member, disclosure (typing, music, poetry), seeking advice, being with a pet, helping someone, being needed, meeting someone with silmilar issues, counselor or mentor with Asperger's Syndrome.

My oldest son enjoys posting on wrongplanet.net. My second son enjoys spending time with our pet chickens. Both my sons adore their psychologist, Ivy Gomez. When they are stressed they ask when their next appointment is. My second son cuddles her business card when he is feeling stressed.

The fourth tool in the toolbox is Solitude. People with Asperger's find socialising mentally and emotionally exhausting. One hour of socialising needs one hour of solitude.



Smelena
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19 May 2008, 4:31 am

The fifth tool in the toolbox is Thoughts and Perspective. For example: replacing poisonous thoughts (I am stupid and dumb) with antidotes (I think differently from other people).

The sixth tool in the toolbox is Special Interests. Special interests help keep anxiety under control, act as thought blocking and are a means of relaxation, and pleasure. Special interests can act as a distraction during a meltdown. If Special Interests are the only tool, then the interest becomes obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

The seventh tool in the toolbox is Sensory Tools. For example: sounds (ear plugs, headphones), light (irlen lenses, hat, sun glasses), aroma (deoderants, cleaning products - not using those that cause overload), tactile (clothing)

The eighth tool is Medication. Tony Attwood stressed that medication should only be used short-term to allow Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to work. There should be an exit strategy.



Smelena
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19 May 2008, 4:32 am

Inappropriate Tools include: fighting, being alone too long, taking stress out on someone else, self-har, arguing, rude behaviour, use of alcohol and illegal drugs. For parents, inappropriate tools for their child with Asperger's include: affection, punishment, talking, becoming emotional.

Different tools should be used at different points on the thermometer. Relaxation tools are benefitical at low stress levels, physical tools work better at high stress levels.

Tony Attwood's Cognitive Behavioural Therapy has been independently evaluated and proven to be successful.
Sofronoff, K et al (2005) 'A randomised controlled trial of a CBT Intervention for anxiety in children with Asperger's Syndrome.' Journal of CHild Psychology and Psychiatry 46:1143 - 1151.
Sofronoff, K et al (2007) 'A randomised controlled trial of a CBT interention for anger management in children diagnosed with sperger syndrome.' Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders 37, (12-2-1214).

Tony Attwood stated that 75% of teenagers with Asperger's will suffer depression or an anxiety disorder. 8O



Smelena
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19 May 2008, 4:33 am

This is a social story for teens (but this can equally apply to adults!):

Using the Toolbox to Stay Calm and In Control

As teenagers go through each day there will be times when they feel sad, anxious, confused or frustrated. There are also times when they feel confident, calm and in control.

The art and science of emotion management is learning to draw upon positive emotions and strategies to keep moving through the tough times.

Staying calm and in control is the smart thing to do.

As people grow older they learn to use their intelligence to keep their emotions in control. That way, everyone around them feels comfortable.

Keeping negative feelings in control is important in a friendship and when working with others. Each person is accountable for how their emotions impact on others.

The first step to staying in control is to know when emotions are becoming more intense. Each person has their own signals that their emotions are on the rise. Mine are: (list)

When emotions become stronger, each person learns to stay in control by using a personal emotion managment toolbox. My tools include: (list).

When other people know about my toolbox and how I am feeling, they can help me stay in control.


Resources:

'Exploring Feelings: Cognitive Behaviour Therapy to Manage Anxiety' by Tony Attwood
'Exploring Feelings: Cognitive Behaviour Therapy to Manage Anger' by Tony Attwood



SotiCoto
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19 May 2008, 4:35 am

Sounds like a freakish combination of social feelgood crap and political correctness gone wrong.



My method of emotional control worked thus far very well for me: It simply involves dissociating myself (i.e. my rational will) from my instinct. The two opposed aspects of my instinct I have given names and identities to... and, as it so happens, it makes it easier then to identify when they are trying to manipulate me so I can fight back and defeat them to stay in control.

I think; I do not feel.
They feel, but I do not.... and I will distance myself from them until they cannot influence me any more.
There are no "positive" nor "negative" emotions... as all of it is intended as a crude and primitive means of survival... but mere survival is not my goal nor my aim as a consciously thinking entity.



chesapeaker
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19 May 2008, 4:41 am

Wow Smelena That is a lot of positive "moving forward" type of information. I learned CBT in 2001 when I was severely depressed. It was the first time I dealt effectively with my very very low self esteem. I finally sorted out what was low self esteem from what was actually medical in my depression. I am confused though. I thought Tony Attwood was part of the hated group by Aspergers people.



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19 May 2008, 4:44 am

chesapeaker wrote:
Wow Smelena That is a lot of positive "moving forward" type of information. I learned CBT in 2001 when I was severely depressed. It was the first time I dealt effectively with my very very low self esteem. I finally sorted out what was low self esteem from what was actually medical in my depression. I am confused though. I thought Tony Attwood was part of the hated group by Aspergers people. My ex's wife ripped me a "new one" when I mentioned "Cassandra Syndrome" which I thought was part of his group's thinking. Anyway, I am so happy for you and your sons. I wish I had known all this 25 yr ago. My ex and I and my kids would have been better off, but better late than never.

Are you one of those kewky happyshinies then?



Smelena
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19 May 2008, 4:47 am

Image

This is my second son's 'Worry Thermometer'. The worry words are not very sophisticated because he was only 7 when he came up with them.



Smelena
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19 May 2008, 4:48 am

Image

This is Syzygish and me at the conference.

He had a big bag of chocolates that he shared. :D

Helen



SotiCoto
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19 May 2008, 4:49 am

It is times like these I really resent the filters here at work for blotting out image-sharing sites.... and most other fun stuff.



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19 May 2008, 5:23 am

SotiCoto wrote:
Sounds like a freakish combination of social feelgood crap and political correctness gone wrong.



My method of emotional control worked thus far very well for me: It simply involves dissociating myself (i.e. my rational will) from my instinct. The two opposed aspects of my instinct I have given names and identities to... and, as it so happens, it makes it easier then to identify when they are trying to manipulate me so I can fight back and defeat them to stay in control.

I think; I do not feel.
They feel, but I do not.... and I will distance myself from them until they cannot influence me any more.
There are no "positive" nor "negative" emotions... as all of it is intended as a crude and primitive means of survival... but mere survival is not my goal nor my aim as a consciously thinking entity.


Like you I tried to dissociate my rational will from my instinct and I found that it didn't work for me long term. I could only keep that up for so long and then the anxiety and depression worsened. You don't have to agree with or try the things that Dr. Attwood suggests, but that doesn't mean that they don't work for others. I, for one, agree with him. Thanks, Smelena for posting your notes!

Z



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19 May 2008, 5:26 am

While I may not agree with all what you say, can understand where you are coming from:
SotiCoto quote:"Sounds like a freakish combination of social feelgood crap and political correctness gone wrong."

Well I agree in as far as these conferences seems to be a little over sell to get there point of view across, and what works for one person may not for the next....

Tony Attwood at times says some really great things and for someone not on the autism spectrum himself seems to really get it. But no one gets every think right and the more you become known the more you are open to be criticized. But he has not lived with Autism, and so only understands from how others have explained to him, people he has studied and how real were those people!.

I have found the only people who really understands total are those on the autism spectrum themselves, even Tony Attwood quotes this. Knowledge and information can help us all, its how we use it thats important.

We are all different and what works for one may not work for the next person. You know yourself and your partner, child better than anyone else, so I always tend to feel its best to relook at one self and your find your own answers - learn from others, listen to yourself..

Often I tell people the best advise I ever had when having children, was not to listen to everyone else, do what you feel is right. Yes ask for advice, we learn and get knowledge from others, but we all have to live our own lives, do we really need people to tell us how our emotions should be and how we must express them, I feel it is always best to work out what works for us, often worrying about trying to conform and fit in causes all the our frustration and anger.


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Last edited by asplanet on 19 May 2008, 6:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

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19 May 2008, 5:49 am

asplanet wrote:
I tend to agree with SotiCoto quote:"Sounds like a freakish combination of social feelgood crap and political correctness gone wrong."


I've been a pragmatist for most of my life, I have not one New Age bone in my body, and have been on the logical bandwagon for some time (I know, I know, I'm mixing metaphors.). I'm not sure if you are objecting to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, understanding the interplay between the brain and the body (the physical manifestations of AS cognitive differences), or the "emotional thermometer" (which, I assume, was developed to help children monitor their emotions), but all I have to say is "Don't knock it unless you've tried it."

Z



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19 May 2008, 5:59 am

It does worry me that these conferences seem to be getting bigger and bigger and cost more and more and can be quite overpowering to the people who its trying to help.

I know it helps some people and thats great, but these events are already quite often over promoted and I have found being on the autism spectrum myself not vcery helpful in the fact that they are a little text book style, which I am not.. I do not need someone else to tell me how to feel and think, good understanding would be a good starting point 8O


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