Taking things literally

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My family comments all the time that I am so smart that I am dumb because I take everything that people say literally. They dont know about my AS. I have yet to tell them. But this has happened all my life. They always say that I lack common sense, because I am so "book smart"(I hate that term sounds like something off Little house on the Prarie). Anyway does this happen to alot of other people besides me.

I know I used to. I was very earnest as a child, and though I've taught myself to be less so, I can still come across that way. I can understand sarcasm and irony alright, but I'm not so good with little social conventions like saying you're fine when you're not fine. That and I don't like joking and teasing, even when it's goodnatured. It's not that it hurts my feelings. It's just that I feel it wastes time and I want people to say what they mean.

"Book smart" but "no common sense"... yep those were the cliches that got thrown at me all the time.

I know what you mean, my family has always been bad about the teasing, and I could never tell what was goodnatured and what wasnt when I was a kid. Now I just dont like it because like you I feel it is a waste of time.

Yea, same here. I am still so literal it actually takes effort to not look at the ceiling when people ask 'whats up?'. Sarcasm I can understand, to some extent, but mum makes sure to inform me everytime she uses it. 'That was sarcasm'. And I think that actually gets more laughs than the few times I don't get it.

But yea, I wish people would just say what they mean and mean what they say! I swear my sister is the worst... everything is 'fine' with her.

Yes, same here.

My husband and I play out the same conversation whenever we plan to go out to eat.

"Where do you want to go"

he says "I don't care"

I say "Ah but that's not true. What if we go to "and I start naming off every place I know he hates and he says "No, no I don't want to go there"

So I start again "Where DO You want to go?"

he says "I don't care"

*sigh*

I always hear I'm too literal. It's just beyond me how other people operate being vague where things can all mean different things and you have to guess and hope you're reading the other person's mind and getting the right interpretation.

Why not save time and energy and just be clear and state what you mean?

My mother always accused my father and me of "quibbling" when we took her instructions literally, but at least as far as I'm concerned, that's the only way I can take them. I'm always unsure how much leeway I have when people give me instructions.

I definity do that.

Well I have had people tell me I am too black and white and I think that is similar

It is the only.... or at least the best way to take them.

Even in circumstances where I know what someone means when they're being non-literal, I'll usually openly accept the literal interpretation... if for no better reason than to infuriate them until they finally try doing things the literal way. Occasionally though it just results in my getting kurt with them and using my sternest voice to tell them that if they can't just come out and say PRECISELY what they mean then I'm not going to partake of their nonsense at all.

I swear... I will convert this whole planet to literalists, one at a time if I have to. They will get NOTHING from me until they can stop riddling their speech and littering their communication with non-verbal rubbish.

yeah me too

i hate the fact that i take things to literally. it made me look dumb, no matter how smart i am. and i had this friend, who constantly made jokes, and i always take them too literally and replied , "really?", and he would say something like, "dude, im joking, cant you tell?"

What is even more annoying is when you know they're joking and play along, and they still assume you don't get it.

It just becomes a case of:
"I was joking"
versus
"So was I" or "You don't saaay?" (sarcastic tone implied)

Either way, the only amusement to be had then is that they have more difficulty reading us than we do them.

That happens to me all the time. Very annoying.

A couple of weeks ago, we had a retirment luncheon for a coworker and we went out to a restaurant. One of guests finished all her food and told me she didn't like it and I didn't quite get the joke. It went right over my head and took me a few minutes to figure it out.

My parents claimed I had neither book nor common sense because I didn't read alot when I was growing up. My sister read several hours a day sometimes and I didn't. I wanted more action, hands on type activities, and my parents didn't like that. I liked creating my own stories and adventures, which wasn't what my sister did.

I think another problem aspies have is grasping the rampant double standards that exist in the NT world. I've always hated double standards, and can't understand how when double standards are pointed out to NTs, they seem to see as clear as day that is what they are doing, yet do it anyway.

I'm not really too bad with this anymore. I can sort of tell when someone is being ironic or sarcastic, but every now and then I do get caught off guard and take something literally.

When I take a person's words in a literal way and then respond accordingly it causes them to think I am being a "wise ass" and mocking them or insulting them in some way.
For example:
Recently at the supermarket the cashier said to me "It will keep going unless you put the bar down." She was referring to the divider bar that is put between orders to separate the items of one customer from those of another. Since she said "It" will keep going I took it to mean that the conveyor belt would keep going unless I put the bar down. I replied, "really? That's neat. That's really cool." She gave me a dirty look and made no more eye contact or conversation with me after that. I actually thought that a new kind of divider bar had been invented with something inside of it to stop the conveyor belt from moving and I was impressed at what I thought was a new invention in supermarket technology. Later I realized that the cashier meant that she would keep going or ringing up my items as part of the customer's in front of me. If she had said "I will keep going" I would have understood. But she said "It will keep going" and since she was not an it I got confused and jumped to conclusions and made comments that she viewed as insults or mockery.