partner with asperger - easier or more complicated?

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jicho
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30 May 2008, 6:46 am

What works best for you?

Does it help the relationship if your partner has asperger or does it just complicate it even more?? What is your experience?



wob182
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30 May 2008, 6:58 am

i might be being bye-ast (read it how it sounds cant spell) bcoz i'm currently in a relationship and havnt seen the overall picture but i'm finding going out with a guy who is NT is less drama and if he takes the time to listen to u and read up on AS he can be really sweet. i found my aspie relationship had more drama and more fights, both of us were stuburn to our own rooteens.

if this topic had a poll i would vote NT


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asplanet
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30 May 2008, 7:04 am

Hi jicho

Relationships are never easy, and it really depends on the relationship - if you are both on the autism spectrum at least you can understand each others differences, the real problems usual occur when we do not know we have autism, this is when the damage is done.

Relationships are not really about being on the autism spectrum or not, its about finding someone who shares the same values and goals in life.. depends what your looking for really, aspies can be unique wonderful individuals - just very misunderstood :wink:

But people with asd generally find relationships hard, this thread may help:
ASD - Relationships and Love: http://asplanet.info/forum/index.php?to ... 88#msg2588


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Tim_Tex
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30 May 2008, 3:56 pm

Well, not all Aspies are alike, or have it to the same extent, or have all the symptoms.

So I couldn't say for sure.


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Pikachu
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30 May 2008, 5:18 pm

having had 2 relationships with aspies thus far, I'd say it depends on the person you are with


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veruniel
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30 May 2008, 5:53 pm

I had a semi-relationship with an Aspie, and it was very difficult. Of course, part of this had to do with issues that didn't directly relate to the Asperger's. He was having a tough time with his social life for reasons beyond his control, though his AS didn't help matters. He was feeling very confused and depressed. But there were also some Asperger's traits that made matters harder. I've learnt to read NT facial expressions, but I couldn't read his. It was hard to know when he wanted my company and when he was getting fed up. He talked a great deal about his own feelings but would become distant or coldly logical when I talked about mine. It was certainly a challenge, though he was intrinsically a kind person and I think it was worth it.

I think NTs are generally a little easier, because you can use social conventions to predict their behavior even if you don't follow such conventions yourself. Then again, everyone is an individual whether NT or AS and I'm sure there are exceptions.



juliekitty
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30 May 2008, 8:11 pm

High-functioning aspie or NT with traits, please.



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31 May 2008, 6:02 am

I haven't got a clue, but I think I need someone I can relate to. Not so much somebody who 'understands' but relating to each other would be important. Also, somebody who has quirks and doesn't mind other people's quirks, and likes them.



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01 Jun 2008, 12:01 am

I've never even met another Aspie (or at least, one who admitted it), so I'm clueless...