A gender issue

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ok, all my life, I have always gotten along better, and felt more comfortable around females.

Although I was bullied a bit by girls, alot of the more severe bullying in my life was done by males.

The majority of my friends are females.

My attitude towards males is usually not that nice.

I don't know why this is, but I just don't really like guys. I'm not a lesbian or anything, but I find it very difficut to like a guy enough to want to be friends with him.

I wish I knew why.

I'm male,

Males are hard to be friends with for me because really I don't know what to say. They talk about: girls, cars, and football. If you dare bring up something unrelated to one of these topics, they say "uh, yeah,... so anyway, i was get a BJ from this ugly chick and . . . etc" So me and other males have little to chat about.

In our society males must follow strict behavioral stereotypes and if someone doesn't fit the mold (such as myself) they are "thrown out of the pack."

I don't have a lot of male friends.

You just have to befriend all the other odd males and you'll be fine, lowfreq50. All my male friends are consideed odd or unusual by most people, so I know little of why most guys are complete idots. Obsession with comformity and preservation of the illusion of "manliness" is my best guess.

I'm female and I'm the exact opposite - most of the people I like to be around are male because they don't say much and are to the point and aren't generally outwardly bothered by emotional stuff that I don't understand . . .

I am the opposite- I find it near impossible to form a lasting friendship with another female, at least, a friendship of any depth at all...

The two female friends that I have now are both on the spectrum.

Otherwise, men are more forgiving of social gaffes and ineptitude. They don't freak out or get all cold and resentful if you forget their birthdays or don't call them every 2-3 days or if there is a small difference of opinion. Guys just seem a whole lot more reasonable and easier to deal with to me. They also tend to forgive more readily and not to stew over small, insignificant matters, or to gossip behind your back and act all phony friendly to your face.

i'm the opposite. most of the time i find it impossible to talk to females. i have a higher success-rate at talking to males- most of them seem quite happy to talk about music, politics or other things that i am interested in.

i have endured more bullying from females than males but i don't think that is why i am more comfortable around males. i think it's more likely to be because, in my experience, females are more likely to take offence at my lack of eye-contact or if i don't smile on cue.

having said that, i do have a female friend (i have known her since april). she is so bubbly and nice and intelligent that i think anyone would get on with her. i haven't even told her that i have AS because i find it so easy to talk to her that i don't think she'd believe me! so hopefully there are other females out there who i would get on with too.

Look on the bright side, at least you get along alright with one of the genders- some people can't cope with either of them.

And if you hate men so much, why don't you try and channel it into something positive?
... like cooking. Or cleaning.

Sanity! Harsh!

Because I went to an all boys school, and school was the only socialisation I had, I had no idea how to socialise with girls... And to a large degree I'm still a bit clueless... So I kinda know how you feel.

GA

hale, we're all different. some people prefer male company, some, female. if you've had negative experiences with most men you've met, it's hardly surprising if you prefer female company.

and how we perceive the world (like many things) can change with age, so this is you now, but might not be you in the future.

are you bothered by it? cos, if not, just enjoy being with other women, something i don't always find easy.

For me, it depends on if the group is AS or NT. The majority of the ASD people I get along best with are female. The NTs I get along well with are almost exclusively male. I guess it is mostly due to the left brained, coldly rational thinking thing, but the AS females put more emphasis on social skills, putting them closer to being on par with a left brained NT guy. This is a very preliminary idea on tis theory of mine, so I'd be happy to hear possible alternate theories on this.

Majority of females I get along with are ASD or ASD-like

Most males I get along with vary from NT to ASD, without a clear majority in any group.


GA

I only had one lasting friendship with a female and even that was awkward, the majority of any friendships I had were with males even now as an adult. I just don't feel comfortable around women as much as I don't share much common interest in things they talk about other than children. That's the only thing that seems to give me something to talk about around women despite being a woman myself.

I do not have a gender. I don't really care about the gender of people that could be my friends, either. All of my past and current friends are female, though. I think this is because all the males in my vicinity are either horribly childish, or are not interested in befriending me because I am not pretty enough (my body is female).

Guys are generally pretty immature. I've been lucky to find some guys that aren't, and I've become friends with quite a few of them. The whole sports thing isn't really an issue for me since I play sports too, and well girls... I just give them advice and contribute even though I often disregard their views on girls (I'll be thinking to him: "Obviously I don't agree that she's hot... I think YOU'RE hot."). Sometimes I can get a meaningful convarsation out of a guy. Sometimes. The rest of the time it's just joking, which isn't too bad.

Oh yeah - a lot of guys seem to lack sympathy and respect for girls, or they're just blind to what we think. But that's all i'm saying, hopefully most people have seen different!

I do have to agree with Sleepflower about not having a gender myself - I am biologically female but mentally I think of myself as more male - but then I know people who are transgendered and I'm not transgendered - I now consider myself to not suffer from the need to define myself in terms of gender . . .
Just like I don't suffer from the need to meet people in person to get to know them . . .

All that said, I just get along with men better than women - I don't get into the gossip and backbiting and talking about their children's bowel movements that a lot of women my age (and at my work) find vitally important . . .

Cats are people too you know!