Bec wrote:
I think if there is ever another member here who says things about wanting to harm people, we should do something about it. I don't know what we can do, though.
unfortunately, that's about the size of it, bec - there is very little we can do.
we can't be absolutely sure that it was him, but the evidence does seem to point that way.
if it was him, there is
no-one on this site who can be held
in any way accountable for such appalling actions. no-one here has the capability - in any practical sense - to offer the level and sort of help needed, not even the trained therapists/psychologists/counsellors amongst us, not on a discussion board.
i felt shocked, then guilty (for the "not helping him" reasons people have described) when i first read this - what if i'd said x, or done y? this is perfectly natural, and i realise this, as i have to do similar things in my work. it took me a few minutes to "have a chat with myself", and be pragmatic and realistic - there is unlikely to be anything i could have done to have made a difference.
possibly, there was - "if only i'd known...". but i didn't know, and neither did anyone else, and hindsight is a precise science.
it's a dreadful thing to have happened, truly dreadful. but please people - don't beat yourself up about what you did or didn't do. dealing with the feelings of horror is difficult enough, without having misplaced guilt as well. talking about it on here can be useful. if that's too difficult, please PM me (and i know there are others here used to working in this situation who may offer the same).
Vivi