Attorney Needed- Were being discriminated against- HELP!!

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Help! i am located in staten island new york. i need a pro bono attorney to represent me and my 8 year old son in family court. I am on disabilaty and cannot afford an attorney. i am curentley in court with my ex (father of my child) my son and i have aspergers. the attorney the court gave me does not seem to care about my case . he admitedly does not know about aspergers and has been rude and un professional in dealing with me. the court pshycologist and childs law guardian asisnged to my case appears to be biased against my son and my self becuase of our aspergers. i have pleased to my attorney the bias i feel the court is showing me, and requested him to ask the court for new interview based upon the pshycologists bias towards me and it has fell on deaf ears. i have requested drug testing at least 4 times for the childs father and to my knowledge no testing has been done. my son expresses himself in drawings, books and pictures he creates to show an event or occurance in his life. this is one of the ways he comuniucates. he drew pictures showing his father abusing/assaulitng me in jauary in front of him. my attorney, child welfare, the law guardian and pshycologist asigned to the case claim i COACHED him and told him what to draw and am turning him agaisnt his father simply because i want to move! i have a box full of 7 years of drawings my son has created over his life time. they dont seem to care about it or his Aspergers. they do not know anything about aspergers or how an autistic child expresses themself in drawings. i am a compitent parent and have cared for my son since birth without involvment of the biological father who never cared despite my trying to get him involved. i am trying to get permission to relocate and full custody of my son. the father is a drug addidct, not on the birth certificate, has never paid child support or kept up with visitation of the child. he just got out of Rikers prison for an old felony grand larcenrey drug and assault charge hed been running from for years. (they caught up with him in court this april) he has had no itnerest in our child for 8 years and reportedley has at least 4 other kids he walked away from- two that ACS permanantly removed from his home back in the early 1990's. despite all of this court people tell me he has 'rights' to my son because he is the biological father! now that i am re married and want to move to ohio to be with my new husband, he admitedly out of jealousy wants to stop my move, and is protesting my move claiming i am denying him visitation and his parental rights! he never adheared to the visitation the court gave him in 2001 and moved out of state to NJ in 2002. i offered him to see the child when i visit family during holidays, and offered a yearly plane ticket to ohio but that wasnt good enough for him. he keeps protesting my move.my son bareley knows him, and fears and does not wish to see him after witnesing him assualt me in january. With the move to Ohio, my son will have a father figure, a good eduaction at the asergers oriented Summit Acadamey of Ohio, and a home with a yard in a nice area. Life in NY will never offer him this quality of life- only a room in my elderley parents home.my husband cannot relocate to NY. the father dosent care about all that, he just wants to keep me here out of jealousy. i need a new attorney who cares. the case has been dragging along since this febuary, my husband is in ohio and i am stuck here in ny with my son until it is over, and my attorney has not yet even discussed details or strategey or findings with me at this point, so i have no idea where i stand. i cannot get another court appointed attorney because the bar said that his being 'rude' is not considered 'immoral' therefore i cannot ask the judge for another attorney. i am pleading out to some body here that can help us here on wrong planet for the help of a family court attorney. PLEASE HELP US! my son and i should not be denyed a better life because we have asperges and the father is a jealous drug addict. thanks. Lisa

I don't know how else to help but I feel for you and I will add you and your precious boy to my prayers.

I can't help you, either, but as a starting point I suggest you print out your post, above. You've summarized the history and your reasons so well. It could be useful.

I wish you all the best! I lost custody of both my daughters because of discrimination. No one listened to me either. I hope things turn out better for you!

Have you checked the local disability rights centers. You also my also want to Google if you state has a local adult AS support group. There are also some women's centers that might be able to help.

I'm sorry you and your son are having to go through this. There are several males here who have lost their children because of AS discrimination....I wish you both good luck.

This sounds like a terrible situation to be in and I'm afraid I can't do anything other than offer my sympathy. I know nothing about how the courts work in the US but it doesn't sound good. I hate that having AS seems to be worse than being a criminal to some. It sounds like your attorney is incredibly bad at his job. Its sounds like moving away from this man would be better for the child.

I don't mean to be discouraging. I am in the exact same boat as you. The judge in my case actually gave my 16 year old to his dad who has never had any involvement with him. You are lucky they gave you a lawyer. I've gone practically bankrupt trying to pay attorneys to represent me. My ex does not acknowledge my son is Asperger's, but uses it against both of us. We have also been discriminated against because of the AS. My son has been in his dad's home a year. He has been hospitalized, had his IEP stripped from him, been brainwashed by a cult church and psychologically abused by his father and step mother. Now he calls me weekly to tell me that I was the one who abused him and that I made him weird like me.

I am a competent parent as well. I have a degree in special education and work with children with disabilities in educational settings. I am considered an expert in my field. I have given many lectures to professional groups on autism and disability awareness. I am not allowed to even see or talk to my son and I have to give my ex half my paycheck.

There is no justice. Have you gotten a CASA? My best advice is to start studying and learn how to write your own paperwork so that you can be your own attorney to some extent. I did much better on my own. The autism groups won't help me. The state won't help me. CPS and the prosecutor's office won't help me. I've written letters to Oprah, Steve Wilko, Maury, and the governor of my state. I've had no luck with any of it. I get glimpses of hope, but then it is quickly dashed.

I don't know how to help you, because I can't help myself. But I will be support for you if you need it, okay? You can PM me any time you need a place to vent. It's a frightening and horrible situation.

People do not understand autism and the court system is the worst perpetrator of anti-autism sentiment.

Put me under constant stress for more than a year and threaten my child and I'm obviously not going to be at my best. Then they use that against me. the judge in my case has been horribly unfair. My son's lawyer flip flops worse than a fish on the beach and she refuses to help my son. My ex makes four times the money that I do, and I pay two thirds of what he was paying in support. I'm broke, down hearted and miserable. I've had several major health problems this year associated with stress, both requiring surgery. How do you combat something that is killing you? I don't know. But I can be a friend and an ear.

I can't believe no one suggested a local ACLU office.

OP, go to your state chapter of the ACLU (New York, I believe)

EDIT: link 4 u, OP
http://www.nyclu.org/

How do they know you have AS? Did you tell them? I don't tell anyone about mine.

i have tried the local domestic violence against women groups, a local disabilaty group as well as contacting GRASP..in those cases they either dont have attorneys available, dont have funding available to help, cant help in a family court type case ect... i have no family members that can give or loan me the thousands of dollars needed for an attorney.my parents who are on social security have nothing to help me with. i begged an attorney who i paid for legal advice to help me out of the goodness of his heart to take me pro bono- he said he couldnt and needed the $7500 down plus the $9500 for the first court apperance and the $350 per hour there after. i am on disabilaty and dont make that much in a year or more time...he couldnt help me. i called ACS (child abuse hotline) for help and they turned on me-they came to my home to see if i was abusing my son and to see if i was compitent - the acs lady even called my sons doctors for my sons medical records to see if id been keeping him up medically! i was horified that i, the victim became the victim once again. the acs woman even personally KNEW my attorney- small world he was a friend of hers, and she told him that i thought 'he stunk' as an attorney and his attitude towards me got colder. i called the aclu today who could not help me..they refered me to the NY Lawyers for the public interest. i left them a message, and am still awaiting a call back from them. i called a local lady who works with aspergers/autisim groups and she never called me back. i called local autistim groups who cannot help. they told me that if i needed help with housing or getting a wheel chair they could help, but not in a family law area or to give atttorneys. i called the local bar asscotiation to complain about the attorney that was given me and i cannot get another attorney unless he does something 'immoral' and they said 'being rude is not immoral'. i asked at my sons school for anyone who could help...i asked at a church support group, i e mailed AUtisim united and have not yet gotten a reply. i have tried just about everything i can only to be turned down or turned away or sent elsewhere...

I feel terrible that you are in this situation! I have been there too! I guess the only difference is that my parents actually sided with my ex. I wish I could tell you that you could expect a better outcome but sadly, I can't! I ended up broke, broken hearted, angry, & with nothing. Justice does not exist in this country.

I went to a womens' shelter with my 2 daughters. The shelter told the psych evaluators that I never suffered from abuse, & that I was trouble. All lies! I suffered abuse while in the shelter. Being there was also used against me. I had been in one abusive relationship after another, ending with me moving out because I was afraid of my ex-husband (when we were still living together). I had been sexually assaulted by him, & he never bothered parenting our kids during our time of living together. I was basically a single parent wearing a wedding ring. He had his mother & his sister testify against me court, & also his mother used my own mother's words against me & that was also allowed. More lies! My attorneys never listened to me, never helped me, & basically just took my money. My ex never had to split things with me fairly, he got the lionshare of the house, household goods, etc, + our 2 girls! I have little to show for the 13 years I had spent with him except bad health, anger, & destitution. Our judicial system is biased & only supports the person who has the money. I know because I lived through this nightmare.

I am piecing my life back together as best I can. I rarely ever see my girls. My oldest one is now hated by my ex's mother, & she refuses to help her. This from the woman who stood in front of a judge under oath saying that she was the one who helped raise my kids, & would continue to help my ex to raise them. Luckily, my oldest daughter is now seeing the truth for what it is.


I wish you all the best, but you may have to cut your losses & walk away while you still have some money.

I'm certain that there is someone out there who can help us, but I don't know who. I called the ACLU, too. They told me that my case was troubling, but not their thing. Whatever that means.

Local autism support groups and chapter were little help either. Please pm if you need support.

This is a long shot ...

I reading some of the other posts, and wondering how much of the problems come from being missunderstood. Almost like someone ASD could use an interpreter between them and their own lawyer.

So ...

What if you could find that interpreter? Someone who could coax you on how to present in a way the court (and your own attorney) will respect? And who can explain what the social cues you send really mean?

Basically, a really good friend.

This doesn't have to be a lawyer. Just someone who can help you speak more effectively to your lawyer.

I hear all the time on this site that the NT world doesn't understand Aspies, and there is a lot of anger from it, and resisitance to understanding the NT way. Which is fine when there isn't so much at stake. But when your KIDS are at stake, I'm sorry, but the power is in the hands of an NT judge, and you need to do WHATEVER IT TAKES for him to understand and respect the real you.

If you can't find a different lawyer, maybe you CAN find someone who can explain things better to your lawyer, so that he is more willing to fight for you.

http://www.probono.net/ny/

This is a comprehensive list of legal professionals in NYC working pro bono.

People do not understand autism, and I agree the court system followed by the medical establishment and the educational system,basically what I call "hard, invisible bureaucracy" is the one which continues it's reckless and malevolent abuse of our lives.

Anyway, I am not going to rant about the hard,invisible bureaucracy, but offer you suggestions.

Do you know the rules of custody in New York City and state? This is something you should discuss ( I been through this BS in New Jersey).

Also, try to tip the scale, remember NTs think in perceptions in appearances and smoking gun evidence, rather then analysis of the law, but please do not create a charity case.

Do you have any controversial evidence and can you present yourself as someone who suffered abuse?

If not go to a few websites about human suffering ( i know, it's horrible, but it's the only thing that works) and basically analyze their expressions and behaviors.

I'm not sure how wise it would be to walk in as an example of human suffering ... this whole thing is going to be decided on "what is best for the child," so they will be looking for a strong, competent, and loving parent. It won't matter how much they feel for you and your situation if they worry it could be too difficult for the child. They need to see the positives you bring to the relationship between parent and child, as well as the complete lack of positives the other parent has brought (since you are basically looking to cut him out of the child's life).

The attorney is the one who should best know what this particular court is looking for, and SHOULD be coaxing you on how to present that way. One of the reasons that feeling a disconnect from your own attorney makes everything so much worse. ANYTHING you can do to bridge that disconnect will help.

I think it would also be helpful to have your new husband in court, showing how much he is willing and able to step in as a competent and loving parent. But, again, I'm guessing. As was the previous poster. You need someone who knows the biases of the particular judge who will be deciding the case. That does not have to be an attorney, just someone who can work with your attorney to make the relationship more positive and effective.

Father was released from prison, no contact with child for 8 years, you are newly married but not allowed to go to ohio? I don't understand why you are being forced to stay in NY.

Can't you go live with your new husband? Don't you have custody? How could father keep you there? I'm confused.