I am too scared to work..

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I am a young girl, and as any young person it is expected of me to find a job and my own place to settle down. But how am I supposed to do that? I am 22, but I feel as frighten as a tree year old that's lost in New York city. I have had a few jobs around, but didn't keep them for long. I am terrified of other peoples opinion of me, I am terrified of people talking to me, the ringing of a telephone makes my guts twist, I feel like my skin is flaking if someone is touching me and when I am all alone this makes me want to both cry and laugh because it is just too silly. Please, I really need tips and support. What can I do to function?

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Merle

It seems to me, that you feel overwhelmed. Like all this responcibility is suddenly on you, and you are on unfamilior grounds, dealing with unfamilior situations. (or am I off here) Well, all I can say is try your best to hold down the next job, you do need experiance so you can feel more comfortable working.

And, also find out where this expectation of bad oppinions is comming from if you have it. After all, you can't feel like that for no reason can you? Anyway, in my oppinion, 22 is a little young for people to expect owned homes and such.

Overwhelmed, stomach turning, not knowing how to interact (when to say something and when not).

I can relate to all that! I have never had a paid job, and I am older, and I can understand everything you said. I get the old 'people your age have a few years working experience and are living in their own place. Some have even started their own family' lecture all the time. All we can do is just keep trying.

I did some voluntary teaching, everytime I entered the class I got so fazed. I was afraid my mind would blank and that I would just stutter and no one would understand me, even think I am waffling. Guess what, it happened! But Before going into the class I did a little prayer, something along the lines of 'Oh Lord give me the clarity of thought under pressure and the ability to reach out and be understood'. It helped and some classes went well, usually it was when I got into a little roll and was consumed with the subject, which I do like.

If all else fails, we can always try something like writing, designing or anything freelance, which helps us avoid contact. It might be difficult, and few people can make a living of it, but I suppose with the condition we are in it would be the best feasible option! All we can do is just keep trying.

Im on the same boat as you are. I have so much anxiety about finding another job because being the outcast or weird person again at another job no matter how hard I try to fit in just terrifies me. It's like going through hell everyday.

I know the feelings you have, I have had them myself in the past, but in the end i just decided i wasn't going to let it control me, why just a couple of years back the idea of picking up the phone and speaking to a stranger scared the crap out of me, but now part of my job description is receptionist.
You could try in small steps, first get a job (even if it’s just part time), get comfortable, then move onto looking at houses, then when you feel ready (and not before) move in, and if you ever need support, family/friends are always there to help.

Not worry if it’s slow, I have yet to get to the moving in part.

Overcoming your fears/anxiety will always prove to be the most difficult thing in the world.


--lee

I spent a long time avoiding the workplace...I just kept going back to school! But then I realized that bad things can happen to you anywhere, and you need to be on your guard everywhere. And that there are other people out there like you, and if you get into the right kind of work, you can find other Aspies --- even if they don't know that's what they are! (I'm in programming)

I think sometimes that overwhelming feeling is the "I'm in the misunderstood minority" feeling --- I've actually been able to deal with that by seizing my humanity and not letting anyone act as if being an NT is some kind of superior lot. My overwhelming feeling has turned to indignant anger. Perhaps it's not the healthiest way of approaching things, but I certainly don't let others intimidate me anymore. Even NTs will listen to you if you talk loud enough. Does that make sense? You have a right to your humanity. NTs aren't any more human, or deserving of a life, than you are. Don't get cowed by the mob. They're the river, and you're the rock. Let them flow around you, and stand your ground.

Can't say I have much to add, but I have been there for sure. Dh has been after me to work for quite a while as I am a SAHM. It would be a big boost to our finances if I had even a descent part time job. I would love to be selfemployed, but I don't know what skills I have are marketable and we don't have a whole lot of extra cash in the bank.

I think we're sailing in the same boat..