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Glasscutter
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29 Jul 2008, 1:44 am

Yes, i do. I can't seem to think of what to say next to someone if i'm talking to them.
I just can't think of what to say without being a geek. Then we both end up bored talking as i can't think of wehat to say! :evil: :x :evil: :x :evil:

It makes me MAD! :evil:



Dart
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29 Jul 2008, 1:53 am

I think just about everyone else here has the same problem, or at the very least has in the past. I know I do. I still don't know how to solve it and I'm afraid of making a fool of myself around other people, so I feel I have no choice but to avoid social interaction.



Danielismyname
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29 Jul 2008, 3:19 am

It comes with the label.



Smitch
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29 Jul 2008, 3:21 am

*checks label*

"Made in New Zealand" and "Machine washable"



willem
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29 Jul 2008, 3:40 am

If there isn't something you want to say, then why say anything?

If nevertheless you want to create something to talk about, it would be a good idea to do something or look at something together with the person, and then talk about it.


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CockneyRebel
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29 Jul 2008, 5:23 am

My label says, born in the wrong country, but living in the right one. :lol:


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acannon
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29 Jul 2008, 6:34 am

willem wrote:
If there isn't something you want to say, then why say anything?


Because if you don't, then there's horrible awkward pauses in the conversation. I'd much rather go on endlessly about something no one cares about than be stuck in an awkward pause.



ironangel
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29 Jul 2008, 6:58 am

my escape in that kind of situation

is to bring the one im talking

into my world...

talk something about the topic i really like

so i'll do most of the talking...

if he gets bored... say bye bye see you in the next blue moon 8)



Ashley1984
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29 Jul 2008, 8:31 am

It is hard not to know what to say to people when you are having a conversation with them or trying to have a conversation...

I tend to repeat myself a lot when I talk, so maybe people get tired of listening to the same story over and over again.

I always try to listen when my fellow students are talking and join in if I feel like they are discussing something of interest to me or if I know something on the subject. However, it does seem like they don't appreciate it too much when I try to join in. they sort of withdraw and ignore me, so I often feel like I fail at having a conversation with other people even though I know what to say.



Hodor
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29 Jul 2008, 5:47 pm

A few tips which apparently work are:

- Early on in the day, find out a little about the recent news, or find out what all the celebrities are up to. Then, you'll have things to mention when talking to people. Mentioning a funny story is good for laughs, and bringing up a more serious, important story will help you to start a more deep and serious conversation.

- Talk about movies. There's bound to be at least one that you and the other person/people have watched.

I understand, however, that the problem is more than just finding the right things to talk about. It's how you say things, knowing when to stop talking, knowing when to start talking and knowing when the other people are getting bored. Tell me when you find the secret of having a successful conversation. :wink:


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Josie
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30 Jul 2008, 12:48 am

I have that problem as well. I have my whole life. I never know what to say.



MintLemonade
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30 Jul 2008, 1:05 am

I feel like I need more time than most to organize my thoughts in a coherent manner. I'm amazed at the people I see in class just talk on and on about a question or a thought. Other times I really have nothing to say.



-JR
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30 Jul 2008, 1:24 am

My cure:

Observation. There is usually SOMETHING that person has about them that is unique, bring it up.

Also, I'm an extremely good listener (or I *seem* to be at least!), and well, I've had many conversations with friends that've gone on to the wee hours of the morn. Not a lot of input from me, maybe bringing up points, agreeing, disagreeing with something, whatever, it doesn't take a whole lot of input if you listen well. A conversation might go easier if the person has different interests than yourself. This is because you can ask for clarification, ask a question, make a comment-and generally curiosity on your part opens up the conversation on many levels. Hope this is a little helpful, just some of my strategies.

Conversation with friends is most difficult for me, as they've got expectations, and I do not like expectations. I can't seem to overcome this area, perhaps someone's got advice here?


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Ishmael
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30 Jul 2008, 2:25 am

People hate me if I say nothing - I'm a big guy, with one helluva poker face, and they get scared.
They get bored of me if I do say something, though...
For the life of me, I'll never understand the social dance. And we supposedly are the ones with rituals! If you don't speak in the right pattern, you're automatically called out as a freak!



quirky
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30 Jul 2008, 6:43 am

This is a big problem for me. I've realized half my conversation is usually about my family, because I don't get out much. I have friends who think it's funny to hear about my mom being ridiculously overprotective, or my dad doing something completely embarrassing, or what I'm fighting with my sister about, or funny/scandalous stories about my crazy relatives - but I've definitely noticed it turns some people off. When i take that part of the conversation away, I'm left with complete awkward silence, and if I have too much awkward silence, I start rambling - on my first date with a guy, I for some reason told him about my mom breaking her teeth and wearing silver caps in high school - that's how rambly I get. I try to bring up politics, but a lot of people I know don't follow it, or one guy in particular I always debate with online so when we hang out the politics and entertainment arenas are covered. I'll ask what they're doing this week, how's work, whether theyre looking forward to sophomore year, if they like their roommate, etc, but after asking 15 questions that only have 2 or 3 minute answers in a row, I start to look weird. Or I turn everything back on myself - they say something about their classes and I can't think of anything good to say, so I just talk about my classes, and it makes me sound really arrogant when I'm actually just desperate. I don't do a lot of socializing so I don't have any crazy stories to tell, and end up just retelling stories about my best friend and her idiocy with guys over and over again. I'll blurt out secrets I'm supposed to be keeping when it gets too silent - it's terrible! The silence makes me so nervous and stupid. Or I'll go on about the cute things the kids say at camp, which most guys don't want to hear. I'm just so bad at it and I always feel like an idiot after hanging out with someone who I don't see on a weekly basis.



stripey
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30 Jul 2008, 7:24 am

I just do not have the thought proceeses for conversation.