Autistic five-year-old kicked out of restaurant

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http://www.cbc.ca/consumer/story/2008/0 ... ittys.html


Last Updated: Tuesday, July 8, 2008 | 11:23 AM ET Comments160Recommend105CBC News
A national restaurant chain has apologized to the family of a girl with autism who was kicked out of one of its Edmonton locations on Saturday for being too noisy.

Sarah Seymour said her five-year old daughter, Eowyn, had been screaming and kicking because she was upset her favourite food wasn't on the menu at the Smitty's on Stony Plain Road in Edmonton's west end.

"We were approached by the waiter, who informed us that there was another patron at the restaurant who was refusing to pay for their food unless Eowyn was removed," Seymour said.

Seymour said the family was asked to leave, despite her attempts to explain her daughter's condition to the supervisor.

Mike Seymour, the child's father, said staff should have handled the situation with more sensitivity.

"The first question should have been, 'Is there any way we can help?' not 'Can you please make your child leave,' " he said.

On Monday, the president of Smitty's Canada expressed his alarm about the incident.

"When a situation like this arises, it's definitely a shock to the system," Chris Manderscheib said. "So we want to make sure that we've addressed it, making sure we educate ourselves as well."

The company has apologized to the family and says it is going to raise money for autism research.

Sarah Seymour said the family is satisfied with the company's apology.

An independent franchisee owns and operates the west end Smitty's restaurant.

The person who refused to pay needs a swift kick in the ass. Who they hell do they think they are??

Someone who want so enjoy their dinner without listening to a screaming child? Ironically enough, many AS people can't abide the sound of crying children either. Autistics don't have signs on their heads identifying themselves as such, to another dinner all it looks like is a spoiled child throwing a tantrum. As a long time restaurant employee, I might have tossed them as well.

No way I'm paying to eat with that kind of noise. No consideration of other patrons.

Having aspergers may explain the girls actions, but it NEVER excuses them. Learning how to behave in a public place may be a lot harder for aspies and autistics, but its still something that needs to be done. This is another case of a mother who is not raising her child properly and not getting her the proper and necessary social training that she needs. The restaurant is clearly not at fault.

This is a really difficult situation. I think if I had been in the restaurant at the same time as the child I probably would have paid for my dinner and left immediately, whether I'd eaten it or not, because the impact of a screaming child would make it impossible for me to tolerate the environment. I wouldn't refuse to pay though - it's not the restaurant's fault, so there's no sense in punishing them.

Kids needn't have autism to throw tantrums in public. All kids do this, barring the severly ill or severly disabled. I did this, and so did my two NT siblings. I wonder if the Smitty's restaurant donated to autism research for fear of legal action.



What kind of name is Smitty?

The family should have just left. When a child starts to scream like that, it's best to leave and wait till the child calms down. Just take a step outside and take your child to your car and wait till they are calmed down. If not, they should have went home. That's what my parents would have done if that were me. Not expect special rules because I am "special."


No wonder people want a cure, because of these kind of parents also.

I've observed that some people/parents who know that a person is diagnosed, sometimes not explaining to the adult/child in question that their behavior was inappropriate.

The reason that they (NT) act this way towards the Aspie in question, I'm not sure about but I have a theory.

My theory is that they get a diagnosis and suddenly (in the case of kids) 'little Johnny or Amy has AS and can't help themselves' instead of telling the child that they are acting inappropriately. If my theory is correct, there is a big problem. Discipline is very important to children, knowing that there are consequences is also important.



About the problem in the restaurant, both would seem (at this point) to be at fault. The restaurant was in the wrong for just throwing them out and the parent seems to be at fault by not being able to explain that a tantrum will not bring the child's favorite dish to them. The other patron was wrong as well, the restaurant has no control over other patrons and should have paid for the food ordered.

I would have difficulty focusing on my meal too if a child was in distress but I would just pay and leave.

this.

If the kid had had Down's Syndrome (not that i'm establishing a legitimate comparison) the other patrons would not have said a word, obviously. But that's not the issue.

I also worked in a restaurant myself, and I can tell you that there are three kinds of patrons:

A) Modest, patient, law-abiding folk who leave tips because they understand that some people don't get paid for a living.
B) Snobby, bald fat men on business lunches who want no attention, give no attention, and leave no tips.
C) Pricks like this (who usually either come in with their new girlfriend or their massive lebanese families) who want anything they can get for free the minute they spot something that puts the slightest bit of a crimp on their night, or anything that was slightly incongruous to the last time they went to a restaurant - which was probably 15 years ago.

Most people are tolerant, and reasonable. They understand that kids can be terrors, and that it's not always the parent's fault, autism or not. On the other hand, some people are pricks.

Last edited by Eriatark on 31 Jul 2008, 10:13 am, edited 1 time in total.

Question: What did the restaurant gain exactly by asking the family to leave? Options are

1) Say nothing, let the guy leave without paying
2) Get family to leave, they don't pay.

Either way, they lose out on payment. What exactly was the financial gain there by insulting the customers?

Sorry, just had to get that off my chest.


Anyway, I agree with both Cameo and Juniperberrygirl. The guy who complained is an idiot, it's not the restaurant's fault that some child is crying. But, if the parents were trying to do anything about their crying daughter aside from just letting her cry, I can understand it might be aggravating - he might not have complained if he could see that the parents were trying to calm her down. AS (or any other condition) is no excuse for a lack of discipline, it just might have to be applied differently.

There's a reason we don't often go to restaurants. And if we do, the moment our son starts acting up, he goes outside.

There is no excuse for such poor behavior in a restaurant, whether your kid is has AS or is just a brat. The moment they start screaming and kicking, you leave. The only idiot thing here is the parents actually waited until someone else complained before leaving. Any person with respect for others should have left well before that point.

Autism shouldn't be used as a excuse for bad behavior, NT kids do the same thing in restaurants, its up the the parent to ensure proper manners with their petulant children. If I was the manager of the restaurant, I would have done the same thing, that restaurant is one of the busier Smity's in Edmonton, I have eaten there several times and it has the best service in that restaurant chain. When people go out to a restaurant they don't want to listen to a kid spazing out because he's not getting what he or she want's, if any of the older people here on WP did that, they would have gotten a good spanking, its to bad parental discipline is frowned on these days.

My 16yo has mood disorder, similar to bipolar, and has had meltdowns in restaurants. My 4yo is a typical preschooler, and has had meltdowns in restaurants. With both of them, the solution has been to take them to the bathroom, sit them down calmly, and explain to them ONCE that the behavior in unacceptable. Then wait for them to calm down themselves. The other patrons can't hear it unless they come in the bathroom, we don't have to abandon our dinner out, it takes the kid away from the potential tatrum audience (a REALLY big deal), and gives us a place to wash off a red and overheated face after.

The 16yo is an incredibly picky eater, so problems similar to the situation with the child in the article have occurred with us. I have left places, but more often I've dealt with the situation in the above manner. It's seemed to work well. I got the idea from a parenting course I took about 13 years ago.

I've also run into people who don't like ANY children in ANY public places. Those are extremely hard to deal with, and I've had my fair share of hard times with them, especially when my child is playing quietly in the library while I'm trying to find the book I want. One *%#*$ woman even called my kid "garbage!" All my 4yo was doing was sitting on the step stool pretending to read a book -- in a whisper! Apparently, the old bat wanted that particular step stool and none other would do.

I feel sorrow that you had to deal with that Judith. The old woman was very rude to you and yours. It was totally unacceptable behavior on her part.