How can anyone identify as "asexual"?

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Since I joined this forum, I've read messages and posts from many individuals who identify as "asexual". I have a question I'd like to ask those individuals who identify as such, and I'm curious as to their response.

Even if you identify as asexual, the only reason you're even able to do so is because of sex- obviously, without sex, you never would have been born. Your parents had sexual intercourse, and you were produced. Every conceivable subject of human study- mathematics, physics, science, technology, medicine, philosophy- none of these would have been developed without sex, seeing as each concurrent generation never would have been born if no human beings were procreating. Einstein, Mozart, Beethoven, Bach, Newton, Socrates, Aristotle, Plato - none of these massive and immortal geniuses would have ever lived without sex, seeing as they never would have been born. As such, the only reason the human race exists today at all is because of sexual reproduction.

To me, sexuality has always been a natural and instinctual part of a romantic relationship. Either before marriage or after, for those who are heterosexual or those who are homosexual (and any other combination therein), sex is still a natural and healthy part of a romantic relationship.

My question is this: How can an individual identify themself as absolutely "asexual", when sexuality is so inherent to the human existence? Your genetic code goes back to time immemorial, before recorded history, because of sexual reproduction- without which you wouldn't even be breathing air today.

No offense meant to anyone whatsoever. I'm simply trying to understand a particular point of view. If anyone would care to illuminate their opinion, please feel free to do so.

Basically they are saying they have male and female genitals, and they can fertilize their own eggs.

I don't care what my parents did to produce me. I don't care what other people do or did with their spare time, for fun or for reproduction. They are them, I am me. So the human race needs SOME people to have sex to continue. Okay. That doesn't mean it needs me specifically, or that me not wanting or participating in it negates that other people have and continued the human race. I do no one any disrespect or disservice by choosing to go with what I want to do instead of just doing something because it's "natural" and "instinctual" - neither term being synonymous with good or necessary.

How am I asexual? I just don't see people like that, for one. Show me a person, I'll notice aspects of them, but beyond that, if I show any interest in them at all, it's an intellectual, SOMETIMES an emotional one if I connect well enough with them. The closest I want to get to someone physically is hand-holding and hugging. Beyond that, when people have tried anything with me? It's weird. It's scary, pointlessly invasive. I just prefer companionship and verbal communication rather than bodily contact that I don't need or want, just like some people prefer different sorts of food, clothing, entertainment or anything else over other ones. It's not hurting anyone or anything, so I don't see the issue of why I should change that about myself except to be more like everyone else - and simple conformity to a norm has never been a big enough motivator to make me be something other than myself.

Edit: Sir Beefy, I'm sorry if you're joking but I can't tell, but what you described is being a hermaphrodite or being intersexed. Asexual as it's meant in the post refers to people who do not feel sexual attraction or desire. However, there is a significant overlap between asexuals and intersexed people.

In that case, asexuality could possibly weed out people not meant to pass on their genetic material?



lol, I never said you should change, nor would I want anyone to change to begin with. Live and let live. I just wanted to hear from a particular point of view.

So, thank you for your response.

interesting question.

i had a friend irl that told me he felt asexual. this is not word for word, but he basically said, "i don't know what's wrong with me. i know other people feel sexual attraction. i'm just not that interested in girls. at first i thought that meant i was gay... but, nope, i have thought about it, and i just don't feel that excited about other humans in general, i don't find them interesting, so why would i want to have sex with nothing? a boring non-entity? sex just sounds kind of messy and gross anyway."

he also wondered if it was nature's way of stopping his genetics from being passed on.

It might be a way to genetically weed people out. It's probably better if there weren't little mes running around anyways because of the medical issues I've had. Less pain for everyone involved that way.

There's also the theory that when a species gets overpopulated, more people are born gay in order to slightly curtail population growth. Perhaps that's the same thing as the reason for asexual people?

Thank you both for your responses.

I know a possible rebuttal to this point of view would be to say that in many instances, the highest birthrates occur in families with low income or very limited resources, and that high-income families in which both partners have the highest educations generally tend to have the least amount of children.

However, taken en mass, this can still have an overall beneficial effect. For example, modern day China is now a gargantuan international power, both in terms of military and economic strength. Without the manpower of almost 1.5 billion people (the product of a high rate of sexual reproduction), this would probably not be the scenario. If they had a population of 50,000 people, I doubt they would be taken quite so seriously in terms of an international power. As a result, even though many of the families in China who have the highest rates of reproduction are the ones who are at the greatest economic disadvantage, it still serves to have an overall strengthening effect.

Even though the Chinese population has now reached the point of critical mass and is unsustainable, the fact still remains that a large reason for China's power is the huge size of their population- and their subsequently gigantic amount of human resources. Which, going back to main point, obviously occurs because of human sexuality- without which, there would be no population at all.

And yet smaller countries can and do have an impact. The U.S. currently has slightly over 300 million people, about a third of China's population, with the fertility rate being just above the replacement rate for industrialized countries, and yet, due to technological, economic and (probably most importantly) military power, we're still dominating on the world scene. This might change, but probably for economic, diplomatic and/or educational reasons rather than population ones. [/offtopic]

I still find it bothersome, the jump from some people not wanting to have sex to a whole bunch of people, a whole population, not doing so, therefore making asexuality a problem (which seems to be the implication). Only about 1-3% of people are asexual, so the worry about everyone becoming asexual and the human race dying out is about as practical as worrying that we'll go extinct because a certain percentage of the world is gay. Just thought I'd point that out, because the point has been made a couple times now, although I think everyone, even asexual people, are aware of the fact that sex leads to more people.

Thats self fertilizing hermaphridate.

Well Sexulaity isnt nescarry inharent to human existance. Actualy there isnt anything human about it in the sense lots of lifeforms deal with that. Heres the deal. Just as we have bisexual and homosexual people, its been reviled there are those who don't feel a sexual drawing to others. And that's it. It is genereally expressed in two ways. One Withdrawing from everyone, or being...parental with others. This is more like genal love of those around you.

No that is not true. Asexuality is a sexual orientation just like straight or gay. Gays don't reproduce either, they just are. The same is true of asexuals.

I'm asexual and have been since birth. Its actually very common with people on the spectrum.

I only have male parts and they all work just fine. My testosterone levels are normal too.

==== EDIT

Also, I forgot to mention that asexuality is not a choice like celibacy. A lot of people get that confused. You are born with your sexualorientation and that cannot change.

So asexuality is someone without a sexuality?

lol. agree. i was thinking something vaguely like this and you put it into words well. though i found comments like "it's because of sex that you are here" to be more amusing in their obviousness rather than bothersome.

The fact remains that sexual attraction isn't a choice one can simply say yes or no to. I highly doubt anyone says "I feel like being sexually attracted to this person!" when they become physically attracted to another human being. If it was a choice, then everyone could simply turn their physical attraction to others on and off like a switch- which obviously isn't the case. People are sexually attracted to other people whether or not their feelings are reciprocated. Whether or not someone actually acts upon those feelings, individuals still feel physically attracted to each other regardless of logic or choice.

Otherwise, there would never be any such thing as unrequited love or unrequited attraction- you could simply turn your attraction to the other person off, and go on your merry way.

You must be misunderstanding me. Let me rephrase.

The human race is obviously going to continue no matter what sexuality you identify as- that was never the topic I was putting into question. The original post in the topic never included the statement "asexuals are going to cause a population crash".

I was stating the fact that sexuality has been a gigantic and natural part of the human race since the dawn of time, and I was inquiring as to the reasons for some individuals to totally deny it.



My point for being obvious was to demonstrate the fact that sexuality is the only reason you're even able to type a response to my question, whether or not you choose to identify as asexual.

While sexuality may be important to the survival of the species (at least until we've perfected our genetic engineering techniques), people place way too much importance in it. They act like it defines who they are... it does not. It's not a part of who you are anymore than the need for food is a part of who you are. It's just your body's programming. I envy asexuals who aren't programmed to feel sexual desire.

to me, those two things you said seem to contridict.

you seem to be saying that there is no choice but then asking why they choose to deny it.

i have read that aspies sometimes seem to be listing a long chain of facts with no seeming purpose to the conversation... i suppose i feel a bit that way reading your post, it feels like a list instead of a train of thought leading to a conclusion. i understood that you want to hear people's opinions about the asexual thing, but i guess i don't really understand your point or position on the matter.