How do you not annoy people?

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It seems that some people don't like those who are intelligent and can't hide it. I have never been able to hide that I am clever and I have usually been treated badly as a result. I don't know if it's my vocabulary or attitude. I tend to treat people reasonably well and I help out whenever I can. However people have interpreted my intelligence to mean that I think they are stupid even when I have said or implied nothing of the sort. I am very confused about this as it has happened on a number of occasions and I don't know what I did wrong.

Question (obviously): how do you know that it is directly related to your intelligence and not another aspect of your self?

Just saying, it might help with answers if there is more specific information. It may not be your intelligence at all, just the way some people think you "look down" on them (by certain facial expressions and/or tone of voice) while speaking or something else along those lines. Usually I find that it is not pure intelligence that though others off, but the feeling like another believes or makes them believe that they are in some way inadequate.

PS. I do not mean the above as you are TRYING to do these things by any stretch, but I personally find it difficult to walk that fine line some people have between being the "smart friend" and the "condesending jerk". (Of course I never mean to be the latter...)

I know exactly what you mean man. Sometimes i come off like more of a jerk when i try to be nice. Sometimes when im smiling normally, people interpret it as a "sneaky cocky" look. Sometimes when i try to teach people stuff they do not know, they assume that im acting better then them, when all im trying to do is help.

Its hard to fit in when everytime you try, people hate you for it.

It takes a long time. It is literally like learning a foreign language. Although what you say is absolutely simple and literal and has no hidden messages or nuances or hints or inferences NTs will take what you say as if an NT had said it and find hidden meaning where there is none.

You just have to learn their language, it's not easy.

Most of my trouble has been online so the body language thing doesn't apply. In person I am quite modest and I have no wish to show off or boast. I really do not value myself in such a way. I enjoy learning and sharing my knowledge with people and it's very hard for me not to do this.

It could also be if they are treating you this way, perhaps they are intimidated by you. I just know at times that has been my experience when it comes to certain things about me. I don't know

Hmmm. I think the finer point we may all be missing is...it's not that people dislike intelligence; they dislike those that assume they are more intelligent. It took me years to learn this.

I identify completely with what you are saying also corroonb. I don't think of myself as particularly intelligent but I share similar experiences that you have with people. My general demeanor is stoic and aloof, and a know-it-all from what I have gathered through feed-back, but I'm also very caring and concerned as well. People seem to find me irritating, it seems, when I'm only trying to help.

As to the question, I have no clue. I think by my very essense, they're going to be annoyed by me. It hurts to be misunderstood, but what can you do?

Because of the environment of my childhood, I missed out entirely on my primary education. My adult life has been challenged as well but I 'was' able to take several college courses. In every one I was at the top of my class in skill, performance and speed of learning, even though the other students had the advantage considering their earlier, primary education. It's strange how brain-damage can give one an edge in one way and a tremendous deficiency in another, i.e. sensory, social and communication. I learned in those college classes that I was in fact intelligent. Circumstances prevented any further college and for the rest I'm self-taught.

I dunnow....Not talk in loud shrill voice while repeating myself over and over and over again?

um.....um.....Not......butt into people's conversations.....Never give an opinion that could be interpreted as a an insult...(if only I knew before it was too late.... )

um.....

that's all I can think of....

I stay quiet and I don't say much. I don't annoy too many people that way.

Using a lot of tact, and maybe that means not saying anything.

Are you my long-lost brother?

Seriously I have found myself in the same situation very frequently. Unfortunately it is as much a mystery to me as it is to you.

Even when I was a kid I was perceived by the other kids as showing off my intelligence. I guess it was all part of the weirdness that made everyone hate me at the time. The other "smart kids" could somehow blend in and be "one of them", which I never could.

Now that I'm older, other adults perceive me as showing off. The worst ones by far seem to be those who are a lot older than me and see me as some young upstart who is trying to one-up them and needs to be put in his place.

Either way, I can't tell you how many times in my life I've been shouted at, "You don't know everything!" The only thing I can think in response is, "What on earth gave you the idea that I think I know everything?" It's not as though I go around boasting that I'm smarter than everyone else. I guess other people (NTs?) who have above-average intelligence or just greater than usual knowledge about certain subjects somehow have a way of "softening" that that I apparently don't. Unfortunately, as is so often the case, I'm oblivious to how they do it.