Is your mum your best friend?

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Is your mum your best friend? I have an only child, who is ten with aspergers. I don't know if I should have more children. So if his family are his only support system (which is distinct possibility) he is not saddled with his mum. I don't mind this but what do you think? More kids or not?

Eromi

I'm almost 24 and sadly (happily?) my mom is my best friend...

I dont know if saying just because your child has AS (and are presuming hell have no friends? Thats not always true.) That you're afraid if you have another he will feel different. (I am an only child so dont know...) But I think what your saying is you dont want him to feel left alone? Or what? If you have another child you have to spread the love? I dont think having more children makes you love the other(s) any less.

My mom is up there on my list. She doesn't want to accept the idea that I might have AS, so I won't be getting a diagnosis fo a while probably.

About the children, it all depends. My older brother is NT, and was generally nice to me until he hit puberty, then became nice again around 18 years old.

My little brother came along however, and I was saddled with the dubious yet invisible distinction of the middle child.

However, I've heard some stories of younger siblings who have made Aspie children's lives a living nightmare.

EDIT: Also, I tend to say this to most mothers with young children: Never back up ANYTHING with "because I'm your mother". Especially if the question is "Why do you love me/do things for me/etc." because the above reason translates, at least to me, to "Because I'm obligated to"

Is my mom my best friend? Hell no. She doesn't understand me at all, or accept me for who I am. She thinks I'm "dark" and "evil". She even said that if I wasn't her son, she would want nothing to do with me.

I am 24 and while I don't consider my mother a "friend" really (she's my mom), I do hang out with her more than anyone else.

As for the family question, I have no idea.

My mom and I are best friends. I'm 15 and she's always been more like my big sister than my mom.

As far as having more children, why don't you just ask your child what they think? If he's an only child, he's more than likely thought deeply on what it'd be like to have siblings.

Yeah sorry that I wasn't that clear. I thought of having another child as I didn't want my son to grow up alone in the world. But there would be a eleven year age difference, that's if I started now!! !! !! !! !!

Eromi[/list][/code]

I have a best friend my own age, but my mother and I have always been closer to one another than to anyone else.

i try to get along with my mom, but we have our good and bad days when we interact.

I always enjoyed hogging the attention. I don't think I would have liked a sibling.

This question has puzzled me for sometime well 10 years actually. I do think that I will go ahead so to speak. My son regardless of AS wants another sibling and I would like another chid too. Hope it works out. Will let you know when I've impregnated myself.

Eromi


EDIT: I do have a boyfriend who is supportive, so it saves me from being a desperate 30something looking to sperminate myself before I'm 40.

My mum and I don't get on well, mainly because she appears to be completely oblivious as to what really makes me tick. She tries, bless her, but doesn't get it. It also annoys me that despite knowing that as a child I had ADD symptoms - cue restricted diet, attempts to make me sleep, pulling her hair out - and when older that I was likely autistic - she never said a word to me about it, not only when I was growing up but when I met my wife and started a family. Even when it became apparent to her as a primary school teacher that our eldest is on the spectrum, she never said a word. That has made our life as a family more difficult that it needed to be, and mine as a young adult struggling to cope with being a parent and a student. A little knowledge would have been useful... but I'm going off topic I feel.

From a parenting angle, siblings can be a pain in the neck. Our eldest is tormented by the middle one - she does not have AS - and she in turn is frustrated because he ignores her, insists on doing things his way or not at all, gets overloaded when she wants to play with him, and so on. Having said which, there is a six year gap between him and his little brother who is 2, and they love each other to bits. So its not an easy call. Best of luck to you whatever you decide to do.

well given the age difference, I'm not so sure it would make them feel less 'alone' in the world. If anything, it might just feel like a nuisance to them (but since when would new siblings NOT be). But then again I'm an only child so I might not be the best source of advice on this.

My mum is right up there on the list. It isn't that bad, though. She understands me really well. Actually, all my friends (who are teenagers and NTs) think she is really cool.