I SO need some advice!! !

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My son I believe either has ASD or Asperger's (being as he's un diagnosed...I obviously can't answer that) He's 4 and up to this point only says the odd word, signs quite a bit, his speech has been diagnosed as apraxia of speech.

What I need advice about has nothing to do with his speech however. at 4 years old he is not potty trained and categorically refuses to. So far he refuses to sit on the potty, won't even look at new underwear, it's a fight to get him to change his pull up. We tried the letting him go bare bum and rushing him to potty when he starts to go...he lost his ever loving mind when he started to go and it lasted long after the mess had been cleaned up, we've tried sticker rewards, we've bought books that promise that he'll be trained in 3 days guaranteed (yep, I got my money back) I am at a total loss. (although I'm proud to say that both his Dad and I have been pretty patient in trying to get him trained)

I would love to hear from anyone who can offer any kind of advice to get him over this hurdle, (he's got two brothers one older one younger, both trained late, but fairly easily)

I just really don't know what else to try, or what else to do...

My 9 year old ( probably PDD/AS son) only stopped using day-time nappies aged 5, and night-time nappies aged 6, but once he did transition he had no problems whatsoever.

I just had to wait for him to be ready. Then it was simple.

My son too hated trying, or even using, the potty, and also didn't like the pull-up things, so he stayed in nappies until he decreed/agreed ( because actually I did suddenly say one day around his fifth birthday, that it was ridiculous that he was still using them at FIVE!) that the time had come!
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I've been having difficulties with potty training my 4 yr old too.... I finally had some success with getting him to poop in the potty earlier this week.

What I have been doing is putting on the underwear UNDER his diaper. Yes it might (and does sometimes) get messy... but he hates feeling messy. I'm trying to get him used to the feel of the underwear while giving him the security of the diaper. But I also set him up to succeed by sitting him on the toilet with his 'special' Thomas the Tank toilet seat once on the hour every hour when he's awake for 2 minutes. I use a time timer so that he can see how long he's to sit on the toilet. I give him a special toy that he can play with ONLY when he sits down on the toilet. I ask him if he has 'that feeling' that he wants to pee... sometimes he says yes and the pee comes. When that happens we do big celebrations and he gets to play with his special toy for longer. When he pooped we did extra celebrations.

So far he will pee in the toilet, and he's had fewer accidents than when we started. We're going to cut down to going to the bathroom once every 2 hours and then eventually when he asks to go, but I know it's a slow process and we just celebrate each small victory as it comes.

Good luck!
Mama J.

My son was like that to. It was very frustrating. Once we got underwear with holes in them and put cheerios for him to aim at when he went to the bathroom, he become excited.He was around four years old. When we tried that, he also was more ready. He just wasn't interested before. He still wears a nighttime diap and I don't see him being trained for nighttime anytime soon. he is a very heavy sleeper. It took him even longer to train him to go poo. That was a hard one due to his digestive issues.

Oh - we also did the "once every two hours" at first. That seemed to work really well. We didn't let him say, "I don't need to go to the bathroom." He had to at least try.

my 6 y/o with mild retardation and lots of autism symptoms(but we're told he is not on the spectrum) was not potty trained until he was well into his 4th year. When he was ready, he was just ready and it was easy. His little sister who is 11 months younger had been trained for awhile. He still sleeps in pull-ups at night. My 10 y/o daughter with HFA/ASperger's/PDD-NOS(depends on who you ask) was potty trained at 2 1/2 in the daytime, but wore pull-ups and then Godnights to bed until she was 9. The ped said not to be worried about it unless she was 10 and not night trained. Some kids sleep so deeply that they just don't have the ability to wake up at night to go potty.

Good luck. When he is ready, he will learn.

ACK, potty training. I thought those days were over, then we decided to adopt another baby in the past year- he's 10 months old now. I guess we have to go through that again in another year 1/2- 2 years. LOL!