3.4 am I being unreasonable?

Post Reply New Topic

Okay I just got home from Vladis School it was conference time. Vladis GPA is 3.4 this is what he got:

P.E. : A
Social Studies: A
Science:A
Language: B
Math: C

Now That "C" really upsets me. I am one of those CRAZY involved Moms. I work full time and have 2 other kids yet. I am always at school functions, 1st day of school, meetings and even bake. I really feel that I am NOT doing something. Vladis strongest subject is math but his writting is awful and the teacher does not understand him so she can't give him proper credit. He is now beginning to lie about assignments and not do them. I am very sad

it doesnt look that bad, he just needs to get help with stuff he doesnt understand and be able to enjoy doing it at the same time. my mom is more reasonable about these things she usually doesnt worry about my grades as long as i pass and make good marks.

I would go after the teacher not Vladi, its understandable that he wouldnt want to do assignments if the teacher isnt giving him proper credit.

ok, now i don't mean to sound harsh, but........aren't there so many other things you could be worrying about than the fact that your son passed math???
for my son, when he was at a gened school, i was more concerned with the fact that he got an A in Spanish when he hadn't been to class (due to anxiety) for 2 months....the same goes for Gym..........

on another note, if you are truly concerned that there is really something awry in math class, then talk to the teacher....maybe his anxiety level is higher in this class....my son has a particularly hard time in math as he has difficulty doing multi-step problems. he needs help focusing and making sure that he has indeed followed all of the steps to arrive at the correct solution.

strongest as in he likes it the most? if so, dont let problems with the teacher/school put him off it. Lying about assignments..avoidance behaviour- this sounds like me in high school. Its not a good path to go down. Help him face the problems, it'll be a big boost to his self esteem when he overcomes them.

It just sounds like your son has an unreasonable teacher. But 3.4 overall is good. Maybe a tutor whom he would get along with, to bipass the teaching methods of his bad teacher and get him enjoying math again perhaps???

With all due respect, MOM, BACK OFF!

Those are pretty respectable grades. If you keep pushing, he'll bring home a D in math and then an F. Talk to his teacher if you want to, but remember that there are those of us who sit here and watch our brilliant kids (I'm not kidding) bring home all Fs, when they can recite the class material from memory perfectly and use the concepts, and then get so pushed out of shape that they won't go to school.

I wish my kid had your kid's grades. Heck, I wish my kid would go to school!

I had a math teacher who gave such bizarre assignments I didn't know which problems I was to work. She would wait until the bell rang and then on our way out the door tell us to do "every other other 5th even prime numbered problem," or something. It was usually only 1 or 2 problems but I would agonize for hours trying to figure out which ones to do. After a few times of getting it wrong I just gave up and failed the class.

I don't know what grade level Vladis is at, but as you get into higher levels of math (Algebra II, Calculus) neatness and organization becomes very important. A C isn't fatal. If he's having a hard time with the writing, it might be better to just accept the C and focus on improving his handwriting skills.

Thank you all for your replys

Vladi is in the 5th grade and although he does not have many friends and gets picked on TONS!! he loves school! He loves math! he was taking Geometry & Spatial science this summer at John Hopkins. Unfortunately I think that what is getting to him is that the tests are timed....also his teacher gave him a ZERO in a project where he had to work with a group! hello! he has Aspergers he is not good with groups. Is that so hard to understand? So I requested another IEP meeting. I feel like they are getting iritated with me, but the most important is Vladi. I don't want him to lose interest in school

Sounds very familiar. The farther I went in school, the more the social pressures increased and the worse my grades were. I always dreaded group projects. I think mostly because the other members of the group always slowed me down. Keep fighting for him. In my parents' defense, no one had any idea there was such a thing as Asperger's when I was in school (I'm 40) but their response to my difficulties in school was always that I should just "learn to get along". The school probably is getting irritated with you, but there's a simple solution...give my child what he needs. Otherwise, you'd better get used to seeing my smiling face!

Another thing I just thought of. If the tests were extremely long, I used to get bored and stop answering the questions. One teacher did a 100 question test, 1pt per question. I got a 50 because I just couldn't stay focused any longer (it was an untimed final in high school).

With all the respect in the world, BACK OFF!! ! I REPEAT, BACK OFF!! !

My parents were very much like this. Whenever I brought home anything lower than a 'B', my parents would go to great lengths to punish me. For instance, they'd take away my TV priveleges for 10 days. Being an aspie, the TV was my only outlet to the world. And since this was in 1995, I didn't have Internet yet, although they'd probably take away that too. To top that off, they would yell at me for nearly two hours about how I'm too lazy to get good grades. So whenever I saw a C on a test, I'd spend days worrying myself sick about getting punished. When I once got a C on a report card, I got so scared, that I hid it in my desk, and started contemplating suicide to avoid another punishment. When I eventually showed the report card got the punishment (grounded for a month, with one hour of TV a day, no video games), I got a fever the next day. And during the time my report card stayed hidden, people in school wondered why I had a "scared for my life" look on my face all the time. As a result, I buckled down and got good grades, but they had a dark side: those A's and B's were a product of pure fear, self-motivation played no part in it whatsoever.

So back to what I was saying. Do you want your son to go through what I went through? Then please do what you intended to do to punish him for getting that C. Sure you have the benefit of knowing about Asperger's (my parents called it "laziness"), but do you want your son to get good grades out of fear, rather than out of self-motivation?

Sorry for the rambling. The original post really struck a nerve.

06xrs~ yup! I will DEFINATELY keep pushing I don't want Vladi to stick out like a sore thumb, but I want what is fair for him

Aspie1~ I am sorry that you went through soo much but I never mentioned punishment, or yelling. I have 3 boys and none of them get yelled at or hit. They do get punished when they do something they shouldn't but it is rare because my kids rarely do something "bad". I mean ocassionally things break, milk gets spilled and they will repeat a fowl word they heard but those are things that happen and we pick the broken item and trow it out, replace the spilled milk and explain that they should not repeat what others say just because. I do consider myself lucky to NOW know what is wrong so I can help him. However as a Mom I have to really pay attention to change. Vladi has ALWAYS gotten equivalent to a A in math so a drop of 2 grades means something. He has explained to me that because they get 5 minutes to do 5 long decimal division it is hard for him to concentrate on writting legible. So I feel that his teacher needs to make some adaptations.

I do think I went a little far as to being sad about a 3.4 but I just want Vladi to be a sucess and if there is a obstacle in his way then we need to overcome it

I took alot of crap and the environment was stressful with lots of noise and people always pushing up against me in addition to teasing. My highest GPA for any report card was 3.4. I didn't take too much crap for much lower grades most of the time because I worked my way out of special ed, where I could have had a high GPA and an extremely crappy education, and I went with regular ed where I had a lower GPA and a much better education. There was some talk of honors classes my senior year, but it wouldn't have done anything to make my transcript look better by then, so it would have just been extra work.

Sean~ that is awsome that you challanged yourself overall the challenges Aspies already have! Two thumbs up for you! I have not allowed them to change Vladi to special Ed, from these boards I see how bright most aspies are and I would never want to insult his intellect. As of now he is in gifted...who know later on, but special Ed never!

Ahem. Both my children are in special ed programs. At least part time. I agree that the EBD program does have lower standards then mainstream but the CIP (Auttie/Aspie) program doesn't seem too.

My older son is in the EBD program and is s...l...o...w...l...y working his way out. Better, in his case, to get some education (in EBD) than none (in mainstream but skipping all classes or expelled).

Special ed also doesn't necessarily mean a separate classroom. Special ed could be as simple as getting to take lunch earlier than other students so to not be overwhelmed.

Lets be just a bit careful how we use the term "special ed." I don't want to scare off people who are considering it.

Thanks guys
BeeBee

the absolute worst thing about the "no child left behind act" is that it has turned the non-inclusive special ed class into the adversary of the general ed class............yes, some special ed teachers focus more on life skills and just getting kids to sit and behave properly...that doesnt mean they're bad. i have had my share of pitiful general ed teachers ~ ones who should've retired YEARS ago!
when we NTs perpetuate this black and white thinking ( as aspies are prone to do), we give the impression that a child could be successful in Only General Ed, or Only Special Ed......we all really just need to take a good look at the programs that are out there for our individual children and make an informed decision as to what is best. I mean, does everyone have to eat chocolate cake ? what about carrot cake ? or vanilla cake ?