Someone like you

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How do you feel when you encounter someone with AS, or may have the same problems socialising as you?

I only ask because I've asked myself this question quite often, and however fair I'm trying to be, the answer is usually that I feel awkward and don't want to be with them.

If I find myself in the company of someone who is like me (socially awkward, quiet, lacking self-confidence, and the rest), I feel myself edging away from them. It's too much like looking at your ugly reflection in the mirror.

I wonder whether my antipathy is the same as that NTs experience when they're around me, or anyone else like me. If so, it's a valuable, if uncomfortable, insight into their way of thinking.

I am really just trying to see if anyone else has asked themselves this rather thorny question, I don't want to offend anyone - this forum is great, with intelligent and articulate contributors, and I very much enjoy reading about people's experiences and views here.

This is a tough question!

For me, it depends on the person - some people just rub me the wrong way, even if I recognize AS traits in them. Solidarity only goes so far.

But I HATE to see coworkers being misunderstood (or picked-on) because of their AS traits, so I will stand up for them when I see it happening. And that doesn't necessarily mean that they are going to be my friends. (They probably don't even know I'm standing up for them, as it is usually in the context of other coworkers complaining about them behind their backs - so I take it upon myself to speak in their defense.) The best I can usually hope for is "no ill will" with any of the people I work with.

Once in a while, though, I meet someone who has AS traits & we get along quite well.

All the time friend

But do not just associate that with awkward people do it with everyone ...

Eyes are the window to the soul ...personality is like the reflections of our soul.

so on a more deep level we are who "we" are but unlike the "collective whole" we are all just broken individuals like a puzzle piece looking for it's corners.

I think love, understanding, caring, compassion are important.

if you really want to know my personal experience it is like this:

I was there. Now I am here.

if you want my recipe for success then take it as it is. we see in others the qualities we hate in ourselves ... but really it is deeper than that. I still get awkward around the awkward, and i still remember what it was like being them ... so i try and help.

i get drained by them(the unaware) and then i lose sight of myself again...then my life fails to continue because i am back at stage one. i have to take a break and go inside myself. to relax i must "recharge" as my mom used to call it...

In the end i have come to this simple solution. Those who are strong will survive. Those who are strong enough to accept responsibility and wish to change accordingly can. and although there are always factors making up who you are they are never set in stone ... you get what you put in.

If you do not feel comfortable then learn what the person does that you do ... stop doing that thing.

because other than our over active amygdalas we (AS) nation are pretty freaking capable of anything, if not everything

-Zane

You have an interesting point. There are some AS people I don't like to be around. But for the most part I really liked AS people decades before I knew what AS was and even longer before I realized I was AS.

Some people are there, they talk well with a person with AS. Some avoid because they think that we're somewhat weird..