Low Response Rate Frustration

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Is anyone else frustrated by the low response rate of Internet dating and social networking websites? Yes, I try to improve my profile and customize my messages to the woman, but still very few women respond. Occasionally one of them will respond saying she's not interested (I prefer even that to no response at all). When a woman does respond, usually the message exchange fizzles out after a few cycles without my ever having had the chance to meet her. I've literally been trying to meet women online for the past five or so years. I haven't met a single woman yet.

I dont want to sound offensive but is it possible you're selecting mates on a looks basis first? Remember that while PEOPLE IN GENERAL will say looks dont matter, they're lying. You have to meet someones standards before they'll even talk to you, let alone meet you in this world today.

Also, if you've even hinted to your nuerological condition in your profile, MOST will discredit anything else you say in your profile. Its unfortunate but the world is not ready yet to accept what is different. Not too mention, most people are TERRIFIED of ASDs(call them the stds of this era). They see all these news people having parents on with children with Severe cases and they worry for the worst at the mentioning of its name.

One last thing, many women on those sites are very suspicious of ALL MEN. They've found one of the guys that has hurt them severely; emotionally, mentally, maybe even physically. You can be the most trustworthy person and still not see the light of day with them.

I'd suggest keeping it simple when first attempting to connect, yet personal enough to show you arent mass spamming women to find one. Point out a few things you read in their profile and clearly state you're interested in them. You dont have to tell them they're beautiful because they've been told this by 100s of men in their lifetime, even if they're not! Women get hit on several times a day, prove you're different.

Dating sites have way more men than they do women. All a desperate woman has to do, regardless of her build, is just do up her hair a bit and go to a bar (or any place that socialization takes place for that matter...), and she can get whatever man she wants. So generally, the men tend to dominate such places...

I wish...

Yeah, it's not quite that extreme, but the dating scene does favour women to an extraordinary degree. The result is that dating websites are designed to keep men single. Bear in mind that fewer than one in a hundred women on Internet dating sites will be genuine active members. If you send a thousand messages out and get a response you're doing exceptionally well.

I wouldn't waste my time on those sort of dating websites. The social networking ones have a ripple effect though. Build from a small group of contacts and eventually get to know their friends and their friends' friends and more and more people until you come across someone who is interested in you. Rather than looking for love you should look for people you can befriend, the more people like that, the more likely you'll find someone.

Yeah these sites are BS most of the time. What pisses me off is that I know guys who have apparently dated many girls off plentyoffish etc... but I have no luck. I have dated one girl I met on POF... didn't go too well. I have sent out dozens of messages (and I am told I am a pretty good looking guy, and am tall) and I've have maybe one in 9 respond... I have also had them message me, and then after one or two messages, they won't f***ing talk to me anymore... like it's some game to see if they can get attention, and then just leave you hanging. I don't know wtf is wrong... I message tons of girls in my age group, I have nice pics up, I say something mildly intelligent and not crass (point out similar interests etc) and I don't get sh1t in return. Yes it's frustrating as hell for the male side.

I'm on facebook too... I've tried messaging a few girls with open profiles who say they are looking for dating, and haven't gotten squat. I think it's even worse than dating sites.

Being that there are an equal member of men and women in the world and being that attractive women, yes, can make pick ups when they want; I don't think they'll always be satisfied with either where that talent gets them or the guys it bring in. I think the biggest trick is outclassing a lot of the other guys, if you can have yourself together and show them that you know yourself, know who you are, and know what you have to offer - probably the best starting point of all.

Mind you, I was on eharmony and got enough responses but I still never did much with it; maybe my profile and test results were taken too much in a transitional time in my life but out of all the hits I got (hundreds) only a few really caught my attention as even someone who I wanted to talk to - some of those messaged me but I think my own tendency to talk and talk in messages rather than getting proactive early had something to do with how those fell apart as well.

I think IRL is probably the best way to go - our biggest stumbling block I think is far less social skills even than other people's ability to read us and if someone can see you IRL and be attracted, probably far better a thing than someone who gets to know your personality online but never sees your gestalt and affect limitations.

This is me in a nutshell.

I believe in putting all the facts out there, to DIRECTLY weed out the people that would judge without knowing me beforehand. f**k 'em.

*This approach is not for everyone. Be prepared for lots of rejection. (not that that isn't going to happen anyway)


Humans need more efficient mating practices.

This society we live in gives us to extreme convolusion when it comes to finding a mate. It was already pretty complicated from the beginning of mankind... modern times just did nothing whatsoever to improve upon that, even with the immergence of dating sites (which, IMO, are a complete waste of time).

So, it's not entirely your fault that so much difficulty has had to been waded through. Everyone is starting to have that burden. You just have to keep trying, man. The fact that you have determination puts you ahead of many, many others. Even some NT's.