Talking and responding to children.

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Does anyone else find it incredibly difficult to interact with children?

While I don't love children, I don't dislike them either. So it's nothing to do with that. I just haven't a clue how to respond to them. Maybe because there's nothing concrete about the way they talk to you. You can't really enter a conversation with a child about a particular topic of mutual interest (not that there's going to be much mutual interests). They really are all about small talk. Maybe they imtimidate me in some way also because they're so open. Maybe because I'm expected to be the one talking away and it makes me feel nervous.

I was watching my mother respond to my four year old cousin yesterday with such ease. My cousin brings her favorite toy, a beany rabbit, up to my mum and hands her it. My mother automatically starts talking about how lovely it is, asking questions about it and chatting to my cousin with ease. This is a classic example of a situation where I'd be speechless and clueless as to what to say or do.

I find it difficult to talk to children of any age, the younger they are the harder it is. I think for me mostly it's because I speak the same to everyone and I don't know how to change the way I speak to fit the person I'm speaking to, for example I would speak to my mum, the queen and a four year old exactly the same.

Both my ex-husbnd and I have a difficult time talking to our son, who is suspected by us and a couple of daycare providers of hving a PDD. However, it's a chicken/egg situation because we're not sure if it's he who isn't learning, or we who are not teaching properly.

I have always spoken to my children in the same tones that I use when speaking with adults (of course, I am much more fond of my children than I am of other people). I do not talk down to them. If there is a word used that my children do not understand, I define it for them and/or we look it up, together.
The same things can be said of any child that I interact with. I think that it's wrong for adults to "dumb down", in order to converse with children. Better to elevate the child, imo.

I actually find it incredibly easy. I mean really really easy.

I did think I'd have the hardest time to interact with children.

Various people even said I'd likely have problems because of my ASD with which I have a lot of issues with adults already. Being touched, the noise level, respect based on 'odd' perceptions, being understood when I talk - I struggle with that with adults.
Basically, my family and the ASD professionals were very wary as well as my friends.

But it turned out that with children, normal ed kids or special ed kids... it's all no problem.

I had a terrible time with children,and just avoided them. They would stare and drive me nuts and on top of that I had no idea how to interact with them. Once I had my own it became much easier since I got to start at the ground floor and grow with him. I can interact with children around 3 and under with ease but still shy away from older ones. The difference is that my 2 year old is an Aspie as well (they won't diagnose him until 3) and we communicate a bit different than what he does with other non-Aspie adults.

I agree with not talking down to kids and stop people when they do it to mine. At the daycare, the other parents do it to their children. It's annoying and those are the kids that seem to respond the worst.

I have difficulty at times with older children. With little ones I have no problem. However, I can only maintain it for finite periods of time. I do eventually get over-stressed and have to walk away. I don't know if it's because I'm 40 and my patience level has diminished, or whether it was always that way.

However, I've always found children to be far more accepting than adults.

I find it very easy, but I have young siblings so that's probably why. I don't tend to talk down to them or patronise them, but at the same time I don't discuss 'grown up' topics with them. I find if you just ask questions they'll ramble, and then you just go "Ohhh, I see..." "Really?" "Wow, that's cool!" "What happened next?" and they do a lot of it. If they ask about something complex, I'll answer, but just put it in simple language and simple terms for them and not go into too much detail.

Just talk about their favourite toy, or what they did at school, or what their favourite film is, or what their favourite book is... kids are simple. And just seem interested in them so they get the attention they need at that age - just make all the right noises. "Wow!" "Really?" Ahh..." "I see!" "That's interesting" etc.

i cant do it, if i find myself in the situation of looking after one (thanfully this is extremely rare) i simply try to ignore them unless something is happening that shouldnt be.its impossible to talk to them about anything unless its small talk which lets face it is utterly pointless and to me a waste of time better spent actually doing something useful....my views on the subject

I find it extremely easy to connect with children, and they stick to me like glue. I just relate to them by getting into the person I was at their age. It's automatic in me, I don't do it on purpose.

I once started talking gibberish to my nephews and niece and they answered in gibberish. We spent a long time like that, having a most serious and complex gibberish discussion, and were ROFL about it. It sounded so ridiculous and funny! We were only able to communicate something meaningful through body language, because the words were all made up and nonsense. That time I realized that it doesn't matter at all what you say to the child in many cases, it's just a matter of the attention you give them and the time you share with them doing something fun.

Sometimes, when they were particularly whiny or quarrelling between them, I'd hand them an imaginary microphone and ask them to step onto an imaginary soap box and lecture us on what was annoying them about their siblings and in general. The others had to listen and wait for their turn on the soap box. The attention alone did them lots of good and they'd calm down.

Older kids I do well with, babies and toddlers I do horribly with! I admit it was hard to bond with my kids when they were infants and toddlers (but I obviously took excellent care of them.. it was REALLY hard) but now its much easier and much more enjoyable now that they are older.