How do you do it?

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Hey all,

I've been reading the forums for a while but I just cant hole back any longer. I AM SO WEIRD, dude. I want and try to be like everybody else but I just cant be. I dont have a girlfriend or any friends really. A few here or there but nothing for long. I just cant trust anyone or have any real friends and I've started doing a lot of drinking on weekends and that seems to help a little. I can talk to a lot of other people and it helps a little. my mom doesnt even know. theres just no one i can talk to about it. can anyone help please. has anyone been through this?

aidan

wow, 15 reads and not a single word of encouragement. some support forum. sorry to waste yet another groups' time.

Sorry you didn't get any responses, but your post has me, for one, a bit confused.

Your mom doesn't even know...what, that you're weird? That you drink on weekends? That you don't have a girlfriend/friends?

what is is you can't (but want to) talk to anyone about?

I just looked at your profile and see you're fifteen or so...When I was fifteen my life was hell. I was the biggest female weirdo in the school (called nerds or geeks back in the 70's), I had never dated, my family didn't understand me (Asperger's wasn't even heard of in the US back then), I was pretty much despised everywhere I went. I had been told all my life that things would get better in the next school and it wasn't true - Middle School wasn't better than Grammar, High School was the worst. Astoundingly, college actually was better - so hang in there.

I think you should stop drinking - you could really bone yourself if you're not careful, and who can be careful when they're drunk?

Good luck, Aidan

duh, it says you're 14 right on your posts!

Not everyone replies to posts. Not all of us know what to say in each thread so you can't expect everyone to reply who reads your thread.


I think 14 is too young for a relationship. I didn't get my first boyfriend till I was 20. No one wanted me in high school but there was this one boy in middle school who flirted with me. I thought he really liked me until someone else said he did and he said he didn't like me. I never let him touch me again. But some people told me he did like me but was too embarrassed to admit it.

Drinking, bad. Just makes it more difficult to maintain the facade of non-weirdness. I learned to embrace my weirdness. The hard part is, of course, figuring out how much of your true weirditude to be apparent. I'm still figuring it out and I'm a grandmother! It may be that your mom doesn't know how to help you with dealing because she is NT and just doesn't understand. In dealing with the aliens it helps to become an actor, assume a persona. Just remember that there is nothing wrong with yourself the way you are, they don't get it and people find things they don't understand unnerving. So you can pretend to be like them. But don't ever feel that you actually have to or should be like them, just learn to pretend when it's useful.

What is your biggest interest? (Don't tell me you don't have one.) There should be a local or online group of people who have the same interest. Also, locally here there is at least one group for people with Asperger's, maybe there is one close to you. The deal there is, even if people in one of those groups is interested in your big passion, at least you will have something in common in your outlook and there can be some mutual understanding.

This is a good place to get listened to by people who know what you're talking about, too. Sometimes what you need is not a bunch of Helpful Hints, sometimes you just need to VENT! You can do that here. So right now you are in the right place.

C'mon aidan let us have it! Tell us how bad it is.

you realy shouldn't try to be like everyone else you say so yourself your weird try turing your weirdness into something positive or atleast dont care that much about what people thik of you. mayby i'm not best judge because i dont suffer as much from the effect of asperge as other people do. about the drinking thats your choice i'm 15 and i drink in the weekends but when i do i make sure i'm with other people that also drink ad that i have fun. i'm realy going to nead to know you better because drinking ca mean any number of thigs same for being weerd.

Why do you say you can't trust anyone?

Well, here's the thing: You have to be yourself, and love you as you are. Dont try and be like "everyone else", 'cause that's not you and what's the point in being liked for something you're not?

AND you have to learn to trust people. Not everyone, not easily, but start to really know people, to spend time with them, to see what they're like, and also show them how're you like.

Feel proud of who you are and, in time, you'll find people who likes you for that :)

I don't have any friends outside the computer.

alright

dude don't worry about not having a girlfriend it's not THAT important (i've never had a girlfriend either, but i hae my good periods)

stop the drinking until you think your able to handle it (wich is hypocrite cuz im once again descneding in my old habit again at this very moment)

to get friends, is by looking for them in the right places, try being friends with the other ones that are considered social misfits, together you'll stand strong.

about the whole trusting issue, just hang out with people without doing anything that might be illegal or harmfull that way you don't need trust, and you can just have fun