New here with new dx

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Hi everyone. This is my first time posting here and just by reading past post you all have a great group. I have a 4 y/o son who was just dx with asperger's/high functioning autism. He also has ADHD and is on meds. We have known for some time that ds probably was autistic, but just wasn't sure.
He is in 4 y.o kindergarten and has been in the public school system since age 3 with great services and very good teachers and therapist.
The problem I'm having is how do we tell family and friends that ds has autism. His sunday school teachers are aware that something is going on, but we have never sat them down and told them. I just don't know how to tell them or what to tell them.
We have also started ds on a diet (Feingold), but haven't seen much change. Is anyone doing a diet? I know alot of ASD kids are on the GF/CF diet with very good results.
I'm glad to be here and hope to learn alot from you all.

mommacat1

Welcome MommaCat! I'm glad you found us.

My child isn't on any particular diet but I know of lot of people have good luck with special diets. How long has he been on it?

As for telling....that is a good question! I guess it depends on how much of an explaination is necessary. Freinds and most family don't know D's dx (PDD-NOS) not because we're ashamed of it or anything, just becuase its not helpful. They just know he's slower to join groups and not to tease him because he will take it literally. As for others, like Sunday school teachers, I tend to introduce myself to them and tell him D has a neurological disorder that makes him a great kid and a bit quirky....and then I continue on to tell them about the quirks and way to redirect him if necessary, triggers, that type of thing. I don't use "Autism" simply because so many lay people don't understand what it means and has misconceptions. It sometimes comes up after they know him...I might say you can find out more about PDD's at this and this site, or on this or that TV special. That way they already know D and won't jump to conclusions about him yet still learn more about Autism.

I'm glad you found this board and look forward to reading more from you.

BeeBee

Thanks BeeBee! Most of my friends and family already know and somewhat understand his dx, but I'm mostly having difficulty with my mil due to the fact that she is so stuborn and not willing to listen. She also thinks she can treat him like other 4-5 y/o children.
I have had to bite my tongue alot to be nice to her, but I'm not sure how much more I can take. And to make matters worse she is his baby sitter after school. Ugh!!

That is a tough situation! My mil was the same way but she lived 120 miles from us

Would she listen to your son's doctor perhaps? My mil had great respect for "professional."

I'm on a GF diet but not related to ASD. I was put on it several years before the spectrum diagnosis, because of bad exzema. I haven't noticed any of the mood-related effects of changing diet that are described in some spectrum literature. But it significantly improves my skin and nasal allergies.

i'm not an expert on books, but i'm sure there must be books out there which would help explain things to your mil....just remember, some people will never get it.....
my hubbys mom ( hubby and son are aspies) continues to deny that there is anything different...she says she always thought hubby was just lazy. good luck!

We tried GF with my daughter and had limited effect. Recently she was allergy tested and found to be allergic to Corn, Dairy, and Peanuts. The fact that the corn and dairy rated higher than the peanuts made her doctor suspicious of the test, so on a hunch he had us cut out corn but leave dairy (she's actually had a reaction to peanuts so we're not going to play in that yard).

Anyway, her behavior has greatly improved, the trick is actually avoiding corn completely. Its in EVERYTHING!

As far as the folks. We've had trouble with both sides accepting her diagnosis. They just kept saying we were bad parents and not strict enough. They are finally starting to come around, a meeting with my daughter's psychologist helped alot. Both sides have quit denying her dx. My folks are trying hard to understand, but this is totally different from anything they've ever known. So we give them credit for trying hard and try not to dump "everything-we-know-about-AS" on them at once. The in-laws are a different story. They were kind of accomodating when she was the only grandchild, but now they have another 1 and a third on the way so they're sort of acting like they don't want to be bothered with a "defective" child. Oh well, their loss.

Ohh I can relate on telling family! My Mom REFUSED to hear something was wrong with her baby! I had him at 17 and she helped me raise him, she lives with us too! My oldest brother who Vladi is very close too said "ohh so he's ret*d?" and DH family condemed me for getting him "Labeled" I tried to explain in laymans terms and they are slowly understanding. Good luck! also I sent a few of them the article that is on this site tittled something like" article to family who don't understand" it is sooo Great!!

There are articles available on AS that you could give your mil. My folks also thought I was just a lousy parent, until they started baby sitting my kids after school. Their expectations became more realistic then. Explain to her that he is smart but just learns differently, hopefully she can understand that. Most people have had enough exposure to "learning disabilities" to grasp that kind of analogy. As long as she loves him, and is kind to him, she has lots of time to learn about AS.