I'm not doing so good.

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Yeah, I know, I'm posting here without having posted here in anybody else's thread (or at all) in, like, months. But I'll post it anyway. I was too tired or lazy to post anything here.


I'm still lazy and tired. I've been for months. I don't remember what it's like to gbe alert or energetic or focused. Adverb and I have a week-old son and I'm not a very good mother to him. I have trouble focusing, I have trouble committing, and I have trouble accepting responsibility. While I was pregnant I wasn't that worried because I thought I could just take off. When Jack (adverb) and his mother went out with our son Finnegan and I stayed at home because I was tired, I suddenly thought that if I didn't go then I would never have the chance to go. I grabbed the minimum amount of things I needed and walked to the grocery store. I was going to ask people there where I could catch a bus to the Greyhound station, then stay there for days if I had to panhandling until I had enough (on top of what I already had) for a ticket. I was going to go to Brockville, a town I lived in before where half the residents seem to be on disability and it's very easy to get it, and you can get welfare right away there in the meantime and they have a good food bank. The bad part of me keeps thinking I'm not free anymore and I need to get back my freedom, and how it's a shame I can't sleep all the time anymore and I have to do something about that, and how when Finnegan cries in an angry way the bad part of me feels like slapping him or throwing him across the room (which is horrible and says something about my character, I know), and when he cries the bad part of me wants to ignore him and does sometimes for a minute. That's no good either. My son is better off without having me there all the time.


Then I met Jack's mother at the grocery store and they convinced me to come back, but I still want to go.

Hang in there. It's called postpartum depression, and it will get better.
http://www.emedicinehealth.com/postpart ... cle_em.htm

Again, just hang in there. Stay active, and be cool!

You are not alone, you got a baby-daddy and his mommy there for you.

Are you back on AD's yet?

Well, you should've kept your legs closed then, shouldn't you?


You have to resort to begging, yet you got yourself pregnant? This is disgusting. Doesn't anyone take responsibility for their actions anymore? Can't feed 'em? Don't breed 'em.

HEY!! !! !
BPalmer.
Chill out!

Ana54 has some issues that's she's working through. If you can't be positive, please keep your opinions to yourself, okay?

Her child's gonna have even more issues, though! I may sound harsh and mean-spirited, but I live in a harsh, mean-spirited environment, with no way out - through NO fault of my own.

Last edited by BPalmer on 29 Nov 2008, 9:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Possibly.
How can negative judgment help?

Her post here is a cry for HELP not condemnation!
Can you tell the difference?

Last edited by MADDuck on 29 Nov 2008, 9:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yeah, I guess so. (Especially since the child needs to be considered.)

I've known Ana54 for over a year.
She has some issues and last time I saw her, she was doing great.
She has gotten so much better but she has a long way to go yet.


Try to be positive and encouraging!!

It is definitely an effort to. I haven't been any harsher with her than some "fellow" "Aspies" have been with me. When their pet project didn't deliver the results they expected, according to their schedule, they began to put the screws in. So that's what I'm used to.

Ana54, I see you live in Channelview... you're pretty close to me. If you need help finding a therapist or something, let me know. Maybe I can help in some way.

That doesn't make what you're saying any less negative. The only time time it's right to reprimand someone is when their conscience isn't doing it enough already.

You may be glad to know that my conscience is reprimanding me, right now. What I said was pretty callous.

Planned parenthood. Go there, free help from doctors who can teach you. Free help.

I can only speculate on the other things. Heres a list of ideas. Survival is best with: food, clean, sleep, and care.

Babies like to hear your heart beat. He grew inside of you, hearing your heart beat. He might just want to know you are there. He can't really see you yet.

Your little baby person is developing his ways of communication. Just because you don't understand him, does not mean you are bad.

Sleep when he sleeps and when he cries, be happy he is alive and hold him and try the different things babies need, till you understand what he is trying to say.

Food, I'm wet, I'm poopy, I'm just lonely, I'm uncomfortable and need a warm soft wiping down.

His neural processes are being bombarded, like yours. I would suggest trying to relate.

You can do it. Post partum sounds possible, I am not a doctor.

Good luck and take care

Thanks, everyone. Thanks, MADDuck, for defending me. BPalmer, I tell myself that Finnegan (some of you might know him as Lars because I called him that because Larsen is his middle name) is lucky to exist (he probably wants to exist), so I probably didn't make a mistake having him.

Last edited by Ana54 on 30 Nov 2008, 4:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

YW Ana!! !

I know it's tough, just do your best, and don't freak out!! !! !