Top 10 Questions People Ask That They Don't Want Answered

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Complete with actual answers I have given people before.

1. What the hell is wrong with you?

There's some confusion over it psychologically. A number of things have been proposed ranging from A.D.D., O.C.D, non-verbal learning disorder, and Asperger's. Mostly I have little empathy, poor social skills, and my brain only really functions when somebody's talking, whether that be you or me, so somebody's got to fill in the silence gaps. You're not pulling your gap weight a lot of the time, I notice.

2. What could you have possibly been thinking?

That you would react rationally to the situation. Instead you're being all emotional at me. I expect an apology for your irrational behavior any moment now, unless you're going to be irrational at me some more, in which case God knows what you might pull.

3. You just don't get it do you?

I have not reached the same conclusion you have given the same evidence, so, no, I do not, "get it" in the same way as you. That doesn't mean you're right, it just means I'm better at evaluating evidence, including my ability to evaluate my own ability to evaluate evidence.

4. You're not going to get that are you?

I was planning on it, but was kinda on the fence between that and another thing. Now that you're trying to be all control freak on me though, I'm definitely going to get that because I had spite as an added motive. That's precisely the kind of thing that can tip the balance.

5. Oh what am I going to do now?

Based on my past experience with you, you're going to drink a lot in the short term and also experience decline in your social life, grades, and/or job, until time allows your mind to be distant enough from this setback that you hoist yourself out of it.

6. What's your problem?

Currently, that I have a real mother of sunburn on my back and I have to sleep on my front. My habit of tossing and turning means that I'm constantly alternating between pain and suffocation in the night. Normally you don't care about that sort of thing, so I am wondering why you asked, but I figure your reasons are your business.

7. Why did you do that?

Because I wanted to and it seemed like a good idea at the time. In fact, in retrospect it remains something I perceive to be a good idea. You seem kinda ticked at me over it, but to be honest with you that's not really something that would've caused me to do anything differently.

8. How'd this place get so messy?

Well, you know, if you live in a place and eat in it, cook in it, clean up in it, get dressed in it, and spend your leisure hours in it and you're incredibly lazy, it just all comes together. No, really, it's not that hard. To be honest, I was under the impression the process was generally understood and I find your ignorance perplexing.

9. You're not going to wear that are you?

Yes, in fact, I should think that was obvious from the fact that I already have put it on and am about to head out the door. I don't get fully dressed just to get the mail you know. That's what a bathrobe and slippers are for. You sure ask some strange questions.

10. Why are you eating one thing at a time?

Because I like the taste of whatever food I'm eating. I like macaroni and cheese. Not macaroni and cheese and baked beans mixed together for no good goddamned reason. When you're kids, why do you think there's trays with little separate compartments? In fine dining, why are things brought in courses? I should ask you why you are needlessly mixing all your food together in a way the chef never intended. It's insulting.

-Frank

Funny stuff. I'll try to remember these.

Seems someone is always asking these kind of questions.

I'm surprised you even got that far...

How are you? is one question people generally do not want answered honestly, if it all -
it's sort of a rhetorical question, isn't it

Great! I answer such questions like that, they ask them, don't they? If you ask, you get an answer. I don't know, now I think of it, if NT people answer questions in this manner. I guess maybe not, maybe they give more standard answers. I don't see why you shouldn't answer these questions with the truth. I have some other questions they don't want to get an answer to.

1. How are you doing?

Depends. I always tell the truth, and that's the reason I hardly ask this question, since most people answer ''fine'' and that's not what I want to hear. I want to know how a person is doing.

2. How do you like my new shoes/clothes?

Depends on if I like them. If I don't, I answer it with the truth. A bit discrete, I don't want to hurt anyone.

3. Why don't you never laugh at my or my fiend's jokes?

I don't like them. They are dumb, very predictable and totally not funny, smart or whatever. That's why I never laugh in class, I just don't think most people are that funny. Most jokes are boring, and I can't laugh because of it. I only can pretend to laugh, but this acting is really exhausting.

4. What's the reason you don't interact socially with the class but draw these mazes of you?

I don't liek your conversations. They are too superficial, with no content in it. This bores me, and is frustrating because when I do interact, you don't get what I say, or I do something stupid like saying something rational. In social conversations, I know now, you musn't be logical. It's some weird routine you guys have, you don't say much interesting or rational, but talk for the social part, and nothing else. I draw these complex mazes since I really like it. It's addicting to make them as large and complex as possible. It's more fun doing this then being social with you.

5. Why do you always know more from a subject than the teaches does?

I read many books in my spare time, and I have great memory for something that is interesting in my opinion. Lucky for me, that's a lot. I can recognize mistakes of teachers this way, but also by thinking rational, and I can discover then that what he's telling us is totally not logical. eachers are here not the smartest ones. This is the reason I resent school: Sitting here for hours, days, without getting anything of it. It's useless. I hate it.

6. How does it come you never wear fashion?

I dislike fashion. First of all, fashion designers make sometimes the most ridiculous items, like a long scarf, that everyone wears inside, even though it's the middle of the summer! Second, I think it's unlogical to like something when it's fashionable, but a couple of months before resenting it, and laughing at someone who wears it. Just because it's fashion you like it! I have also bad memories of it: an entire class wanted to be friends with me, if I would wear fashion! They only are able to like you when you are the same as they are. I don't want to be a part of this, or cooperate with this. Fashion costs a lot of money too, I'd rather spend on more interesting things. It's boring, and it takes time to keep up with it. I't's so boring and superficial, that I'd rather do something else.

7. Why are you so serious/depressed?

I'm not really. As I told before, I just don't like your jokes, and I don't liek to pretend. Ican laugh, but if there's nothing to laugh, why should I then? Maybe I am serious, I guess so. But I'm not depressed any more and I can laugh when there's something funny.

8. Why are you so interested in insects?

I simply think they're interesting. I like to know all about their adaptions to nature. Really, it's fascinating.

9. Why do you like classical music more than popular music?

I think it's so beatiful. I love it. It goes much deeper than popular music,and fascinates me. Popular music is torture to me, I find it annoying and I can't stand it. I hate it, I can't help this. I also hate disco's.

10. Why are you always so rational?

I think almost everyone is too unrational. Logics is all we have as humans, and it helps a lot. It helps problem solving. Many people do ret*d things, only because they are unlogical thinkers.

People have asked me these questions several times throughout the years, I answered them mostly with the truth.

You missed out the classic: "Does my butt look big in this?"

1. ...

2. Do you think that I'm fat?

3. Do you love me?

4. Do you think my sister / cousin / best friend / room mate is cute?

5. I bought / made it special for you; do you like it?

6. Have you been drinking?

7. Do you always think of sex?

8. What were your former girlfriends like?

9. Do you like weddings / children / large families?

10. My parents / deadbeat brother / cats will be staying with us; do you mind?

I was avoiding relationship specific examples, but I'll come up with answers for them if you like.

1. Does my butt look big in this?

Relative to what?

2. Do you think that I'm fat?

Relative to what?

3. Do you love me?

There has been no change since last time you asked me. If I start to love you less, I'll let you know, unless you want to be ignorant of it up to the point that I don't love you at all, in which case I'll only let you know if there's been a total fade.

4. Do you think my sister / cousin / best friend / room mate is cute?

Relative to what?

5. I bought / made it special for you; do you like it?

Custom made gifts are always appreciated, not to mention the money you saved in going that route. Quite industrial of you.

6. Have you been drinking?

Yes, but my limit is two drinks, so it's not enough to blame for whatever other behavior you're criticizing me.

7. Do you always think of sex?

My natural inclination is to do so, but I try not to. There tends to be nothing good down that road.

8. What were your former girlfriends like?

Vicious harpies who consistently left me a twisted emotional wreck. If you don't cause me pain on a daily basis, you'll be head and shoulders above them.

9. Do you like weddings / children / large families?

Yes, because, hey, free food/That depends upon the child but I generally suffer them well/large in the 4-6 kids range is fine, but you start getting over that and it's sorta silly.

10. My parents / deadbeat brother / cats will be staying with us; do you mind?

So long as this does not result in a laundry list of BS rules I will have to follow during their stay I don't mind.

-Frank

Does your butt look big outside of that? Either way, you've just answered your own question. I'd rather not get involved, thanks.


There are clear-cut medical definitions of obesity. Do you meet them? Incidentally, you should also remember that being fat does not necessarily mean being unhealthy or ugly. When assessing one's self, one should remember to include all relevant data.


Not sure this one should be on the list - this definitely counts as a question that shouldn't be asked if you don't want to hear the answer.


(assuming that I do) Yes, she is. Why do you ask?


I like the fact that you bought/made it specially for me; that's very nice. (My family knows what I like - last Christmas, my wife and cohusband bought me a dagger and folding knife, both decorated with wolves.)


Why, yes, I do find that I must occasionally consume liquids in order to survive. If you mean alcohol, gads, no - that stuff tastes nasty!


No, sometimes I think about food or television. Usually turns back to sex, though. Hey, wanna fool around? (accompanied by my best Groucho Marx eyebrow waggle)


You mean you haven't gotten tired of hearing me b***h about my ex yet??


Depends on the kids involved. As for crowds... brr!


Well, of course I mind - does that really make the least bit of difference? (Except the cats, of course - the cats are always welcome in my household!)

So I am supposed to ignore those questions?

What questions?

Why are you single/why haven't you got a partner?

So ... when are we gonna see some grandchildren?

Frankcritic,

You SHOULD become a screenwriter.

LOL Frank, great retorts!

Why do you always (whatever criticism)?
Why not?

How can you be so (whatever criticism)?
I'll teach you, it's not hard.
(Answering their questions literally drives them bonkers)

Say, are you normal?
Are norms important to you?

Then there are those questions people DO want answers to, but I don't want to answer.

What model is your car?
What model would you like it to be?

Do you own or rent your place?
Will you continue talking to me if I say I rent?

Are you married?
How will the answer to that affect your opinion of me?

Why didn't you ever have kids?
Why would I?

What's your problem?
I'm looking at it right now.

Do you always think of sex?
Yes, apart from when I'm actually doing it.

What were your former girlfriends like?
Just like my mother.

What model is your car?
It's not a model, it's full size.