The Internet bad for Aspies?

Post Reply New Topic

In another thread, someone was talking about her mother's advice on friendship, and this reply was given. It seems to be an interesting topic, so I have started a new thread. The quote and my reply below.

Same thing? I think not. An Aspie would certainly WANT to believe this (I know I would), but nothing beats being accepted warmly just as you are by a real human.

The Internet may actually be bad for Aspies. On the good side it allows us to make small talk in forums like this (even though we all protest we hate small talk). But on the bad side, the Internet is often a barrier between us and the real world. It becomes a place to hide. The Internet is a sometimes comforting, but always cold cocoon. It is no substitute for a warm hug from a caring person that deep down we all seem to want.

I agree with you.

Though, since my friends and I are working and in college now, it can be very lonely sometimes. We do not get to hang often anymore. At least I have work and college for some interaction.

The Internet can become a place to hide for NTs, too; and the phenomenon of internet addiction can apply to both neurotypes. If you tend to be avoidant (or Avoidant) and your use of the Internet is interfering with other things, then it could be a problem. (Or it could just be a normal Aspie special interest, in which case it's the same kind of problem as a special interest in something other than the Internet.)

Ever heard of "chat room addiction"? Happens to NTs, apparently on a fairly regular basis. So it's not much to do with autism; or, anyway, as much to do with autism as anything that happens to autistic people has to do with autism.

However, "hiding" is NOT a bad thing for an autistic person. You need to "hide" in order to recharge and process things. If you are doing nothing but hiding, then either your environment or your own mental state probably need looking into; but if you're NEVER hiding, you're probably headed for a nervous breakdown.

If you are "hiding" in the same sense that an alcoholic drinks to "hide" from the world or from his own problems, then there is a problem. If you are "hiding" to relax, recover, and process life, then it's healthy.

The Internet also gives you practice with social skills in a safe environment, as well as letting you participate in autistic culture, get tips from other autistics, and get moral support from people who've had the same problems you've had.

The Internet is never universally "bad"; it depends on how you use it.

I see what you're saying and agree with it, however I'd say some Aspies prefer talking on the internet because they don't like talking in real life. Which could also make the internet good for us.

Also people in real life may not listen or take us seriously.

They might also stigmatise us/deny us opportunities on the basis of a label.

I find sleep's the best way - Long nights and maybe 1 or 2 catnaps during the day

There's something to be said for pushing onesself to a certain degree - After all, if I don't pull my weight, why should ppl let me live?



Absolutely

Push only hard enough to do what you can sustain, indefinitely. Otherwise you just run out of energy, and the end result is exhaustion. You should only do more than that when it is truly necessary, budget in rest time afterwards, and be aware that to do more in a shorter period of time means longer time needed to recover, which will probably mean you did less overall, even though you finished it earlier.

I think whether the Internet is bad or not depends on a few things. What activities you use it for, whether activities online become an obsession (as Callista says), and how aware you are of the dangers that undoubtedly exist online e.g. viruses/malware, online perverts and other malevolent social milieux. So yes, it cannot all be either good or bad and is what you make of it.

I see a distinction between using the Internet for social and non-social use, because it used to be very much a social medium for me. You can just surf the Internet, without actually contacting people on it, which is fine if it doesn't become dominant in your life.

Interpersonally, WrongPlanet is pretty much the only place I come online nowadays and I post here. This is fine probably because it's a special interest group. Other than WP or similar special interest sites I cannot recommend the Internet at all as a social medium. Face to face rejection offline?? Trust me, online's far worse, I cannot paint anything other than an entirely miserable picture of my own quite extensive experience of talking to people online. Any acceptance or warmth it can bring is extremely ephemeral.

Personally I also see no point striking up friendships with people online - perhaps it can even be relationships that are more than friendships - unless there's any chance of eventually meeting them in person. This has proved to be categorically not doable for me, although I did meet someone in person in 1996, in Germany, whom I'd met online. That didn't work out.

Ughh.... who would want a warm hug? Seriously I hate being huged. ..Unless it was by a hot male or what not.

I get your message though. I think the internet had made me into a better person though.

Well I guess it's refreshing to hear some1 saying "don't work too hard", even if it is blasphemy in our humanist value-system

It's horses for courses as far as work goes, I guess; I do wonder if every1 appreciates the fact that most of the solid ground in their life (food, shelter, etc.) has been handed them on a pl8 if they're still young_

Last edited by undefineable on 03 Dec 2008, 4:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I agree with the statement that everyone should do all they can do and be all they can be
but I'm always always bothered by that question.

Answered as Questions:
1.Why do people let cats and dogs live as their pets?
2.Why do people let golddiggers live and even marry them knowing they are?
3.Why does church bother to go on mission in poor countries and help poor people?
4.Why do some businesses continue paying people after they retire from work?
5.Why do some governments pay welfare or dole?
6.Why (in theory at least) do non-profit charity organizations exist?
(Human life is valuable, priceless, beyond the value of money.)

For OP question:
Internet is good for us to communicate in ways that are almost indistinguishable from normal. I went to an autism school and I certainly don't visualize the fact that most of us are like my classmates. I forget that so much that it even startles me when I see some people use their own pictures as their avatars. It is a shame, but there certainly is a shockingly strong "baby-talk instinct" triggered by the appearance of someone who "looks like an idiot".

I like the Internet. In fact, I don't think I'd be the person I am without it.

The Internet has taught me many lessons, devoured much of my time.

On the social area: I have time to say something. I can rapidly change a sentence before hitting the enter button. I have time to think, and say more than just a mumbled "yes". On rejection: I tend to not try and go beyond "friendship" on the internet, so rejection isn't that much of an issue. If I am rejected by someone, there is quite a good chance I didn't really like them either and I can easily move on.

While I like classic forums with posting by name, building up a reputation, I am also rather fond of 4chan's system, where a mistake made is completely meaningless. A clean slate with every post.

A great thing about the internet is that it brings people closer together: Where I live, I see many people I regard as stupid. And their actions tend to prove it. On the internet, there are many people like that. But the people that are clever are there too. I am good friends with people from the US, the UK, Malta, even China.

I disagree. The internet is the only place that I feel comfortable enough to be who I am without worrying about it.

Nope, the internet is only bad for NT's.

Typing while using the internet has improved my spelling, punctuation and grammar. It has substantially improved my WPM. I have become more aware of proper syntax too.

it really depends on what one uses the internet for. if someone wants to log on to porn sites all day - then so be it. For me that would be utterly boring. For someone else it might be the kind of thing they choose to do. Is that right or wrong? I don;t know. it's just not my thing.

My personal view is that the internet is great for me for info and for learning. I use it for work also and would be lost without it. If i did not have the net, i would have to mix face to face with people a lot more and that is actually really difficult for me to do. I can maybe do it once a week and the day i do it (i teach one day a week,) i am utterly exhausted and so wired it takes me over a day to recover. And i only deal with 5 people who share my special interest so we talk shop and that is ok, but it is still overwhelming.

I have mixed views about chat forums and about WP. I found when i first registered on WP i was on it all the time and then i started to feel really irked and actually overhwelmed by the number of views and opinions flying around - in much the same way that i feel this level of overhwelm in a big social situation or gathering (which i would probably do about once a year at the most...maybe twice.) I thought it might be easier for me on a forum site, but the same level of overhwhelm occurs sometimes...not all the time but sometimes. i then take a break from it.

What i am learning to do is to dip in and dip out of chat forums on my terms, rather thatn using them as a substitute for real life. HOwever, in saying that, i am well aware that some days i cannot cope with people at all and on those days i simply enjoy the contact of WP because it can enable me to have some human contact without having to have human contact! I don't mind using WP in this manner. Some could view that as hiding, but i preceive it as learning to live within my limitations on days when my sensory issues are so severe that stepping out of the house is akin to madness or near death! And on those days i am simply so relieved the internet exists.

most days I spend at home and can't cope with too many people, so i tend to use the net a lot.