Hello Folks. My Son and I need help.

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I have been struggling for the last ten years or so with the sense that I am different. I have understood slowly that my social skills are not simply poor, but distinctly different from the average person. I see very little value in small talk unless I am aquiring new information. I left school with no qualifications, but eventually managed to get to Exec level in a bank thanks to the propogation of computers as I can't spell and my handwriting is awful. I have however struggled to keep these good jobs and have regsined from three in the last ten years, due to not being able to do the thing that other people seem to be able to do. Which is do something for the sake of nothing by producing reports and paperwork that go nowhere. I can however spend hours obsessing about cosmology and other specific topics and wish this intense focus could help me in earning a living.
My problem aside my son is sixteen and about to bomb out of school and I strongly suspect he has AS. His social skills were drawn to our attention last night at a parent and teacher evening and I had the light bulb moment where AS just dawned on me. I have read a bit today on the web but would really like to discuss this new and unknown senario with people with experiance and practical ideas on helping.

Thanks Chris

Hi, and welcome. I often get signed off of college and used to take months off school due to my problems so I can relate a little. I hope you can find the help here and in RL that you need.

Good luck. It's not always easy but we try our best to get along. xD

Thanks being able to identify our situation and talk to like minded people is a comfort.

My advice is to get an official diagnosis, for yourself first. Although I think that you should be near certain before you take any action towards testing your son for it.
And Welcome to Wrong Planet.

I don't really want to change other than feeling comfortable doing a job, how would diagnosis help this as I don't want to take any drugs.

Thanks Chris

Welcome to WP!

chis, I definitely think you are Aspie as well. As soon as you can, go to the doctors for diagnoses.

"Hello," Chris. Very pleased to see you on Wrong Planet. Wishing all the very best of WP to you and your son.

It looks like you and your son have started a journey together. You guys might have fun taking those what career would you like tests. You two could end up running your own business.

Hi Chris, Welcome to Wrong Planet!

As you browse WP, be sure to check out the parents forum as well.

Magliabechi.

Welcome

Hey you guys are cool thanks for the warm welcome.
Hey Prosser, I guess I am just scared about going to the Docs and tackling this at a pro level. I also worry about the potential stigma from any new employer who asks if it's ok to get in touch with your Doc.

P.S
Spoke to my son last night, didn't mention AS, but discussed coping mechanisms for dealing with people. Both he and I are good at acting and suggested he practise doing a perky 'can do' persona.
It's easy to be someone else for a short while but hard to be liked for being you. I have only got one strong friend that I can be my blunt self with all the time, but being potentally AS this is not sad. I like my own company or just a one on one conversation, more than two pepole in a room leaves me feeling segragated from the conversation.

Hi again, I was diagnosed late with High Functioning Autism. Since being diagnosed I have received a little negative feedback from some difficult people but largely people have been more tolerant of my problems.

I know with the current attitudes and systems in place there are many negative repercussions of a diagnosis as well as positive ones and so you must take you and your son's case individually-way up the pros and cons towards getting a diagnosis.

I am glad that I have been diagnosed because I have received recognition and help for my problems. My problems were always there but people and institutions either did not recognise them or did not feel the need to recognise them. But they will never go away and if they are such that they are causing real issues for you or your son regarding your professional, educational or personal life I believe that it is better to have them recognised for that they are- something that you cannot help.

I am from England and so I'm not sure if the laws are similar in Scotland (I'd like to assume they are not radically different) but in England your employers or potential employers cannot discriminate you and must take 'reasonable adjustments' with what by law is a disability- you can take them to court for not doing so, the same with school.

I have ongoing problems with my educators- and they know that they could get into some real trouble because they have ignored the doctor's and my psychiatrist's formal advice and recommendations regarding myself. So they are wary about doing anything that could have negative repercussions on me- because I can easily spring the 'equal opportunities' and 'widening participation' policies that they have promised to take up, not the mention the disability discrimination act and other similar acts on them.

I'd research into different laws that apply to you and any future employers as well as any policies (such as equal oppurtunities) your son's school may have pledged itself to if you are truly worried about negative repercussions.

Edit: Just found this link- I hope it's useful:

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly. ... 045&a=8018

Hi Chris. I don't know for sure what I have to offer to you, but I would like to communicate with you anyway. I am 44 years old and was recently diagnosed with Asperger's. My social skills are not good, and I have the intense interests so typical of Aspies. When I was diagnosed, I was told that since there was no cure for those on the Autistic Spectrum, that I would not be changed. There are no medications to cure it. But I have been offered "coaching skills" to help me deal with issues concerning socializing and being a better father and husband. My social worker has made the suggestion that I meet with him and bring along my family so that we can work as a team in helping me with these issues. So if you are diagnosed, you might find a social worker that can offer you coaching skills too. I go for my first session next week. It sounds like you have a nice job now. Congratulations on that. I have been a high school teacher for 21 years (first 19 years in English, past 2 years teaching the gifted). Good luck in your future.

Dear Chis topic

Please visit the AS Parents Support Thread in Members Discussion. This is a great place for parents on the Spectrum. The Parents forum is for AS and Spectrum kis only.