Mild and very mild aspies describe your AS symptoms etc

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just curious as I want to see if I can identify with it, particularly social skills. I don't think they are hugely impaired. how are you getting on in life? how did you get on/getting on in school? friends? etc.

particularly interested in adults, post undergrad even more.

I think I have mild AS, but my social skills are horrible. The last friend I made was over 3 months ago and that was a friend of a friend.

When I was younger I wouldn't speak to people except at home. I used to wander around the school playground on my own. I did have one friend from the ages 1-9, after he left town I was very alone. I got used to it though and never felt sad about not making any friends. I used to hang out with my sister at school too. One of her friends said to me once 'why don't you go and find you own friends.'
In year 6 I was pulled out of public school to be home schooled. I was never that good at doing my school work, which I know now is because it didn't interest me. Even at home school I cared less about maths and I was more into english and geography.
I went to high school at a christian school. I was friends with someone a year above me and more people a year above that (they knew my sister more though). In my year I hung out with the trouble making boys. I did date somebody but felt absolutely nothing.
Fast forward to adult life. Social skills are improving. When I talk to people my words just don't come out the right way. I often stutter and mispronounce words and sometimes can't think of a thing to say. I have difficulties approaching people. I find people talk about uninteresting things and I'll just lose concentration. Even with the friends I have now I cannot feel much love for. I could easily blow them off to do something that was more interesting to me. Horrible I know and I really wish I could appreciate them more. The only person I seem to appreciate doesn't even give me the time of day anymore.
Other things:
I think very fast. I can't shut my brain off when I'm trying to sleep. My coordination is a bit sloppy. My short term memory is horrible. My rote memory is brilliant. I can sit and read about the same thing for hours. My skin is sensitive and my eyes are sensitive to light. Some clothes feel itchy and I can't tolerate spicy food. Some sounds are particularly irritating to me too. I take jokes literally at times. I stim by scratching my hands, rubbing my hands on my leg or pull at my fingers. I feel very awkward in crowded places.

Oh right, life for me now is a little tough. I'm still unemployed and living at home. Next year I really have to find a job or move somewhere that I can get a job. I don't think I'm ready to move out and be independent, although I really want to.

Guessing that I'm "mild," I'll chime in.

I can make friends pretty easily, but very often just don't see the worth in doing so. I've accomplished several big things in life, but then abandoned them for various reasons. IF I feel talkative, I can do allright around other people, but there are times I just can't think of a thing to say. The job world, which I can thankfully now dispense with, I perceive as a toxic cesspit, and if I'm there, I'm fouled just by being present in it. Most people I meet are liars of one sort or another. Trusting anyone is impossible and I never place myself at anyone else's mercy. I do what I want, but it's getting harder to find motivation. Either I am damaged goods or the women I meet are, because the relationships just keep getting shorter. I'm losing the desire for it, honestly. Very often I assume the worst, which seldom turns out to be the case, as I always tend to overestimate the bad and underestimate the good. I seem to be lacking an ego, as my superego and id are all that are there. This makes things somewhat difficult. High highs and low lows, in alternation. I believe that I'm in a trough at the moment, though I never assume that it'll last--something always comes around the next corner. I stim like a caged panther at least once/day. Don't even get me started on family life. It's largely non-existent.

On the good side; I'm fit, healthy, alert, substance-free, uncommitted to anything in particular, which means that I'm particularly flexible right now--could turn on a dime. I live an unstructured, non-materialistic life. Live in a townhouse, 2 floor apt. I have everything I want, but then, I don't really want much. Money does NOT solve personal problems. It can, in fact, make them worse, oddly enough. I want to move from the town I'm in, but will have to wait until spring to do it. Will probably do so unless something extra-good happens. At the moment, I'm hoping that, knowing what I now know about myself, I'll be able to find/locate an aspie woman (again), and that it might work out this time around.

Like Pensi-girl, I have trouble sleeping, but can simply go until I'm exhausted, then dive in. My coordination is good and has been for decades due to physical training earlier in life. Also like her, my LT memory is amazing, but I cope with bad short-term by ritualizing the liabilities of such so that the potential problems are minimized. Being in crowds and loud places is only very slightly annoying, but more than anything else, I feel as if, even surrounded by people and 60 decibel noise, I am alone. Odd feeling. Just no connection with most of the people around me. I eat and wear essentially the same things every day, with very little variation, more ritualization.

Usually, don't gripe this much, but, . . . 'tis the season.

I'm doing really well at the moment. Although it is possible that it just seems that way because I had such an awful year last year. Basically, I went from being in a psych ward and dropping out of uni to having a full time job that I'm actually good at, and I can even understand a small amount of the social interactions in the workplace!

So, symptoms:

Social skills
have improved greatly. I'm still terrible at smalltalk, understanding what people mean using subtext, body language, facial expressions, etc. is still virtually impossible for me, and I generally have no interest in stepping outside my own (admittedly very fascinating) world and communicating with others. But... I can act as though I can/want to do it when I have to (which is currently 5 days a week. Actually, this is a little too much for me. Next year I may consider cutting my hours), and can put up a good facade of normalcy for limited periods of time.

Sensory issues
are fairly slight. I get visually overloaded fairly easily, but have developed strategies to minimise this. I have very slight difficulty with sounds. Also, regarding sounds, I sometimes have difficulty decoding spoken language.

Special interests
well, my interest is books, and I work in a library... so I don't really have to worry about sounding overinterested. My interest is accepted and enjoyed. Also, I don't really like talking to others, so I tend not to bore people with booktalk, because I just want to sit in a corner on my own the whole time, and talk to myself.

Need for routines
I tend to meltdown when I am without routine/when I try to do things spontaneously/etc., but it usually takes an hour or so or even longer for my brain to realise that it doesn't like the lack of routine, so often I'm safely home before the fallout begins. But I definately need routines, both for everyday tasks and for less frequent activities.

General ability to function in the wider world
is improving greatly. It has taken a while for me to find my feet, and it still takes me a long time to recover from what others would consider to be everyday tasks, but I have a job, which I apparently do well in. I'm not really independant, and I think it will be a while before I am, because I spend most of my free time curled up in a ball somewhere. One day I plan to go back to uni, and eventually get a librarian's qualification.

I don't know if I'm classed as mild/very mild (evidently I'm on the passive part of the spectrum), but I wasn't diagnosed until I was twenty, so apparently I was able to hide my difficulties fairly well. I don't know if this means anything. Of course, there are more symptoms, but I think I've listed basically where I'm at right now.

I have very mild AS, so mild that the Aspie Quiz said I am "very likely neurotypical", and my AQ was 5.

I'll start based on animal's post


Social skills
have improved greatly. I'm still terrible at smalltalk. I have trouble knowing how to start it, how to stop it, etc... I still have trouble understanding some subtle garbage, body language, facial expressions. I don't even acknowledge that the body language I don't know about exists. If it isn't true for me, or most around me, or people I query, it isn't valid enough to worry about.

People seem to usually like me, but I can consider only a few to be friends. Trusting anyone is impossible and I always try to have a plan in case they try something. I won't even talk about women. Sometimes, pretty women have said things that I later realize could have been leading statements. I am depressed most of the time. Don't even get me started on family life. It's largely non-existent.

Sensory issues
are fairly slight, but I have trouble with some audio and visual things. Also, regarding sounds, I sometimes have difficulty decoding spoken language around some noise, or when people mumble.

Special interests
well, my current interests are computers and languages, and I work with computers and most people don't speak english as a first language... so I don't really have to worry too much about sounding overinterested. I end up helping people, etc... Also, I don't really like talking to most of the people I have to deal with, so I tend not to bore people.

Need for routines
I DO have ways to do some things that I ALWAYS do, but usually I have enough things planned that it isn't limiting.

General ability to function in the wider world
is fine. I have a job, which I do well in. I'm independant. I have trouble sleeping. My coordination can be bad. My longterm memory is GREAT! My short term memory HAS been worse but, through training and nutrition, it is getting a LOT better. I HATE being in crowds.

On the good side; I'm fit, healthy, alert, substance-free. I am planning on getting rid of problems I have had for decades. I have everything I want, but then, I don't really want much.

WHO KNOWS about stimming. On the way back here, on the plane, I noticed I was tapping the side frame of the chair in front of me with the right side of my shoe, and gently rocking. Others might have thought I was listening to music, but I wasn't.

I would consider myself to be mild.

my social skills have improved so much that most folk can't even tell i have AS!

however, notable impairments still include:

* concentrating so much on one sound source that i drown out everything else around me...ie, if i'm listening to the TV and my girlfriend says something, i most likely won't hear register a word she says!
* incredible anxiety if a trip/night out isn't planned very well, or if i'm stuck in a new city without a decent map...
* less than stellar eye contact when meeting new people or seeing someone i deem as threatening...
* anxiety if i need to meet a load of new people at once
* notable stims when anxious/excited

stuff like that ^.^

my symptoms mostly are monotone voice and quiet but i can make eye contact okay unless im feeling alot of anxiety then my social skills kinda go down the drain

I am a virgin poster here. I'm 63 and have recently discovered - at least I think I've discovered - that I have a mild form of something. I did a test on line last week - one where 32 shows some form of Autism and the average result is close to 16. I scored 43.

I cope quite well with life - had interesting jobs - been married twice and divorced once - have four children and eight grandchildren - I am generous and like to help people - probably like to help people too much. I have never had many friends mainly because I avoid friendships. It takes me a long time to develop a trusting relationship with anybody and I put on a coldish front so people generally don't warm to me - not for several years anyway.

I love the comfort of the spoken voice and listen to the Radio as much as I can. I even have a small radio speaker under my pillow so if I wake in the night (people my age often wake in the night) the radio voices soon have me asleep again.

I like order and efficiency to the extent that I often plan my journey around the kitchen - to avoid having to make two trips to the fridge for instance ( a mere 8 feet) when with a bit of foresight I can just make the one trip. I like to put my hand into a drawer or cupboard and find the thing I want without the need to search or even look.

If I know that I am to be invited to a social event I worry for days about how I can refuse the invitation without causing too much offence - I know I'll cause some offence - just don't want to cause too much by saying for instance, "I would prefer to stare at a blank wall than come to your party."

I am unable to answer a question without analysing the true nature of what's being asked. "Can I help you?" even in the most polite and welcoming way is always responded to truthfully - I usually say, "No thankyou." The question, "How are you?" is always met with a list of my current ailments even if it's just a boil on my neck - or bottom (rarely but it has happened). I was once in a field scouting for fishing spots - a pick-up truck raced towards me and the passenger had a shotgun pointing generally towards me. He asked the usual, "Can I help you?" and unusually for me (must have been the gun) I responded, "You don't mean that do you? You mean, what the hell are you doing in my field?"

I am not in the least concerned about what I may or may not have - its severity or mildness and I rather like the way I am and can't understand why others are not the same - poor devils. I do understand though, at this relatively late stage in my life that there are others who do not have the ability to share my world in the way I would wish them to - there are benign aliens walking about in human form. I will try my best to make tham feel at ease in the strange environment we share - in time one or two may even become friends.

Tonight I go to the Bridge Club - they're an odd bunch but I like them.

Social Skills: My son will speak to anybody about anything, even strangers. He interrupts conversations ALL the time. About a month ago, there were 2 people having a conversation from about 20 feet away and he couldn't tell. He actually asked me why the man (who was facing the woman), was standing so close. He thought he was a stranger and couldn't not read from their body language/facial expressions that they knew one another. He has a lot of friends, though, which is great. Wonderful sense of humor..makes me laugh all the time.

Sensory Issues: There is this one brand of potato chips that sends him into a panic when he sees it. I was eating them once (first time I bought them, before I knew they had this effect), and he started crying and ran out of the room. When he sees them in the store he runs. At the mall, he was feeling nauseous from the smell. Another time we walked into a restaurant and we had to leave because of the smell. He has also covered his ears if the music was too loud. In the summer time, he will sometimes wear gloves and a coat, even if it's 90 degrees out. He likes holding his knees to his chest and loves being in a sleeping bag so he is wrapped up tight. We also had to leave a museum once, because it was so crowded.

Special Interests: In no particular order...tractors, cars, dinosaurs, mythology, ornothology, entymology, world's tallest buildings, aircrafts, now it's bruce lee. He will learn all he can about something and talk about it non-stop for months at a time. I learn from him everyday! He also likes compiling lists of things. He wrote this 4 page list of restaurants.

Routine: He's gotten a bit better with routine. We used to have a timer and schedule at home. Now he is a bit more easy going. He can still get upset if something doesn't happen at the EXACT time, but we work through it.

I have been told by people that for a Aspie I will somewhat well-adjusted.

Social skills:
Better than pre-uni, but still feel somewhat awkward going to nightclubs as it doesnt interest me.

Sensory issues:
Sound issues, like motorbikes, sudden shouting.

Special interests:
Computers, Video Games, Anime, Walking in Countryside, but I dont focus solely on those interests and bore people to death about them.

Need for routines:
Dont have a routine regime, but lately I feel a lack of motivation in some areas.

General ability to function in the wider world:
Im in my 3rd and final year of university and am looking for possible jobs and places to live(when I find a job).

Social Skills: I'd describe them as polite and efficient for everyday use. I can get through the usual hellos and how are yous and how was your weekends. For more involved stuff, I tend to let the other person do the talking and I listen.

I try to keep eye contact, but it feels so weird, I end up looking at the part of their face that is moving more than anything. I wonder sometimes if people think I'm deaf and I'm lip reading them (which does come in useful in noisey places - see below).

I am not a very good friend if you want Miss Party Animal. It's just not me and I will avoid where I can that sort of event. I will go to one or two a year, but I can't say that I look forward to them. We had a works do a couple of weeks ago, on a Saturday night. By the Wednesday before, I was having anxiety dreams and feeling permanently sick. Managed ok at the party itself, (disco was ear splitting though, so moved into the quieter bar area with a couple of other non-disco people).

An old work colleague who I got on well with phoned me up one Saturday morning and invited me to a barbecue they were having that evening. I um-ed and er-ed and said I'd think about it and let them know. I spent the next hour or so pacing the living room, jabbering to myself, on the verge of tears. She is a lovely person, but has no idea about AS or that I might have it and wouldn't know how her nice, pleasant suggestion for a summer's evening garden party sent me into a spin. I phoned her back and said I couldn't make it. I just couldn't face so many people I'd never met before at such short notice.

I have one friend that I see about once every three months (last time was begining of Dec. to go to the theatre). She's NT and has NT buddies to do NT things with.

Sensory Issues: I don't like screechy, clashy, whistling noises. Loud bangs or people yelling makes my scalp creep. I use earplugs at the cinema. I have trouble picking out a voice if there is background noise, hence the lip reading thing from above, which can come in useful.

I have a small and repetitive diet of fairly bland food. There aren't many strong tasting things that I like. Don't like the texture of pasta or rice, don't like the taste of garlic or chillis, my condements are limited to salt, vinegar and tomato ketchup. Tomatoes feature heavily, with tomato soup and beans in tomato sauce two of my staples!

I remember at infant school, I was making a collage in art and I'd used this dark green, dense piece of velvet. When I rubbed it with my fingers, it made me feel sick. Fabrics don't generally affect me, though I take my shoes and socks off as soon as I can and either go bare foot or put on some soft, fluffy socks.

Special Interests: Too many to mention. Over the years astronomy, writing, photography, rugby union, House MD, the X-Files, insects, beads, collecting various things: fans, beer mats, erasers, shells, obsessing on Enid Blyton, then Nancy Drew, then Stephen King books, Star Trek:TNG, snooker, it goes on and on.

My general knowledge is pretty esoteric and I love trivia. We had a massive quiz book where I used to work and in breaks I'd bug my colleagues by saying "Kestions! Kestions!" as in "Questions! Questions!" and make them ask me loads

Routine: I don't lose it temper-wise if my routine is changed - it's more like that part of my day ends up all to hell and if I try to do things out of sequence it all goes to even worse hell. I keep a fairly regemented structure to my days, I suppose, but it's easier that way. I find it an efficient way to live. Change something, or do it out of sequence and it's more effort and hassle. I like clocks to all read the same time - eg I've set my two VCR/DVD players to tick over within seconds of each other. I have to have the clock on my stereo covered up with a patch of black paper as it keeps horrifically bad time and I can't be doing with changing it every few days.

I have wondered recently if my life, socially withdrawn, regemented to a certain degree and limited in food (open my fridge and there is literally only milk, butter and cheese in there), seems austere to a viewer from the outside. It doesn't feel like it to me, I like it like this! I have my own house, a job, money to spend on what I want and lots of time to myself where I can indulge my hobbies/interests/obsessions. I have a good time.

I also liked animal's format, so I'll use that too. Vivinator, since you asked about social skills, I'll focus there. I was diagnosed last year (waaaaay post undergrad) by the therapist I was seeing for marriage issues (so, there's my number one social issue right there). I think most people are initially surprised when they learn I have AS, and it hasn't prevented me from achieving the things I want in life, so I would say that qualifies me as having "mild AS", even though most test metrics put me at the higher end of their various scales.

Social skills
I'm nearly completely blind to non-verbal cues. Body language, facial expressions, tone of voice are all simply not there for me. Since my DX, my wife has been quizzing me on things we see in movies and TV. That's been pretty instructive for both of us. My responses to casual small talk ("hi, how are you?") are all pretty much learned scripts, but over the years I've got a decent collection built up. One on one conversations are pretty easy for me, but I definitely run the risk of monopolizing a conversation when it intersects with my special interests. I've learned to check in with the other person to avoid this. Conversations with several people, or even worse, at parties (see sensory issues below) are very challenging for me. I always seem to be one step behind, and never know when it is appropriate to jump in. I'm also pretty bad at knowing what my face is doing. My wife hates this, and I've caught co-workers noticing too If I get angry, I apparently send off very hostile signals, and my wife has said I have "scared off" more than one person that way (I am 6'3", so any problem there tends to get magnified). As a child, I seemed to be a bully magnet, until they realized that I wouldn't back down from a fight and that they couldn't really get too much of a rise out of me anyway. My early romantic adventures were pretty much hopeless once the girl figured out she wasn't going to get much emotional support from me. Talking to strangers and using the phone require psyching myself up and are surprisingly draining. Oh, and I'm horrible at eye contact.

On the positive side, I've managed to hold onto a successful marriage for over 13 years, have a few close friends that I am still in touch with even though we live in different states and countries, and have a great job that requires me to lead others and speak in public regularly. I think overall I've managed to hide or accommodate my difficulties and leverage my strengths.

Sensory issues
I lucked out here. Having a complete lack of smell doesn't really handicap you much in life. Touch is a mixed bag. I am hyper-sensitive to light touches, which was more of a problem when I was young than it is now. I still stiffen at unpleasant light touches, but I don't say "OW!" every time it happens (my father hated that!). I am over sensitive to heat, and under sensitive to cold. I have a very high tolerance for pain, which can be a problem (I recently walked around for over a week on a toe that I broke sparring in Karate). Over the years, I've learned to stop and check to prevent further damage. Vision is fine, and taste is pretty normal, although I prefer really intense flavors. I also tend to seek out vestibular stimulation (driving too fast, skiing, roller coasters, etc).

Probably my biggest challenge is hearing. I have very acute hearing, and frequently hear things most others miss, even beating the dog to noticing some things. Loud noises are literally painful. Although I haven't been diagnosed, I have many of the symptoms of CAPD: inability to discriminate in noisy environments, simply "tune out" voices mid-conversation, delay in recognition or processing of language (I'll say "what?" and then answer the question), difficulty filtering out background noise, and sometimes a complete inability to recognize a human voice as meaningful. All of this has made lectures hard to learn from, parties more frustrating than anything, difficult to participate in conference calls (a requirement for work), and led to frequent, minor embarrassments.

My stimming is pretty minor, and I have been able to control or channel it when in public (although this took some learning).

Special interests
I work in the field of my special interest (software), so this is more of a massive benefit than anything. My other special interests provide me things to talk about and do. Honestly, I've never understood why this was considered a problem in the diagnostic criteria...

Need for routines
I tend to fall into routines almost instantly and find them comforting. For instance, same breakfast, same place for lunch, same path to work. I really enjoy going to new places and thrive on discovering new things, so vacations are a lot of fun. But in my normal life, I tend to be anything but spontaneous. My wife has found that she needs to "prepare" me if she wants me to go shopping or something like that. Otherwise, meltdowns have been known to occur. While I can tolerate a routine being broken, I definitely have a strong dislike for it, and it can put me in a foul mood for the rest of the day.

General ability to function in the wider world
I would say that overall, I do just fine here. While things such as having to talk to strangers are stressful, I can do them, and have learned to do them fairly well. I drive. I don't have public meltdowns. I've learned the rules of the workplace, although I had something of a sheltered workshop for Aspies in the software industry. Having rigid rules for things like "always pay the bills on time" tends to be a positive, overall. My short term memory can be a bit scattered (I once forgot that a close friend was coming to visit and stay with us!), but I've found compensating strategies for that. My social life is very limited, but that doesn't bother me, so I don't see it as a problem. I have a few close friends, and that's really enough for me.

Cheers!

--Odd_Duck

I have no severe sensory problems. And I've also picked up on some social skills over the years, making me okay with people I know well and in formal situations. Not to say that I have GREAT social skills, but they have improved over the years.