Do Aspies actually care about people?

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Can they feel empathy? If something bad happens to you, do they actually care about your welfare, or do they only care about how it'll influence your treatment of them? If they are kind to you, is it actually because they want you to feel better, or do they just want you to see them as a better person?

Yes we do care. We just have trouble letting others know it; We have trouble expressing it. Although, I might not empathize as much as others, it still hits me.

Edit: "not", not "now"

Last edited by Moop on 08 Dec 2008, 9:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I agree.
I think it is more about the ability to show it.
It is like the myth that Aspies don't have feelings.

Hm, it must just be my friend then.

Me: Hey A, do you care about us for our own sake, or just as we relate to you? I figure instead of theorizing I should ask you.
A: Mostly as you all just relate to me =/

At least he was honest?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I see.

1) At the very least, is lack of caring and/or compassion more prevalent among the Aspie community?

2) How would you define caring? Do Aspies only care about people in the sense that they are curious about them? Or do they actually feel pain when their friends are in pain?

Last edited by averin on 08 Dec 2008, 9:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I doubt that it is something that can really be definitively said. I personally am vegan for ethical reasons, which I think requires a significant amount of empathy. However, I doubt that it has much if anything to do with the fact that I have AS.

Not the lack of caring. Just less caring. Sometimes I don't understand what people are going through, or their emotions, but I understand them most of the time.

^So you're saying they care less about others' misery because they do not realize the severity of their pain? If Aspies gained more life experience would they start caring more about others?

I don't think I am saying that, or at least that's what I don't mean.

My emotions seemed dulled (I also suffer from depression time from time).
We have plenty of life experience, maybe we have different views on them.
But "we" can mean "I" in this situation.

Point is. We can feel empathy, just that we have trouble expressing it.
Like sometimes I will cry from a really sad part of a movie. Other times I can't, but I understand the sadness.

sometimes we can be overly Sensitive; and see things that actually aren't there..

Hm, alright, so it's definitely just my friend then. Thanks for your input!

Maybe your friend doesn't understand your situation. It may have never crossed his mind.

I know I can feel empathy, and I know my AS son does too.

But to show compassion feels fake and phony to me for some reason.

I work in the health profession where caring and compassion is important. I do my job well, but if a situation arises, lets say, that a baby has died for example, I have a friend at work that will take that on rather than me. She has a natural ability to show her compassion, but she has also lost a baby and can really deal with the parents situation better.

For me, I know that it is rough to lose a child, I know that the parents will feel pain, but is it my pain?
No.
If I try to show compassion it comes across as stilted and phoney.
Perhaps it is not so much that we are all cold-blooded non-caring robots but perhaps more to do with the difficulty we find
showing compassion if eye contact, physical touch, verbal and non-verbal communication are problems.

Aspies do care about people and they will show the emotions, even though it may not look like an common way of showing that emotion. For example, when I get excited, I talk really fast (without stuttering), which is not a common way of showing expression of being excited.

I care about a lot of people. Although my approach is to care first about those people whose situations I can do something about.