Specifically nonverbal comm mistakes as an adult.

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please state. trying to see if I have any of these.

I'm sure there are a number of them, but I can only think of a couple right now. One biggie is not responding as in someone says something from you that typically would demand a response back but instead the Aspie stands there like a moron and says nothing.

The other is walking away from someone while they are in the middle of a sentence speaking to you.

Two non-verbal challenges topic

My facial expression appears as angry, even if I am not I have been told this by people I have talked with. This communicates displeasure, according to them.

My stims seem to bother others. They think I am fidgiting. It may well be stress, or maybe I am just bored with what others are speaking about.


Hope this helps. I still do these. I am not aware of them until I am told.

Non-verbal communication mistakes/issues

* Consciously checking I am responding to people. Eg I must remember to give a nod of the head after they present a point. This is not always enough for them, for they repeat themselves as though I did not listen. They expect to see emotional expressiveness, which I do not provide.

* Someone said I restrict my body space too much. They meant I don't take up as much room as others because my limbs and belongings are kept as close to the body as possible. It conveys unassertiveness.

* My body movement is restricted and people say it is like a barrier is present. They say I look very reserved, cautious and unapproachable.

* When returning greetings & so on, I display muted emotions (thru' lack of body language and vocal tone/volume) and do not smile much. I also disengage too quickly because I cannot judge well if the other wishes to begin conversation (and most times I do not).

* Facial expressions are subdued. When in conversation with someone I like, there can be a fixed smile and too much laughter (even about bad events that happened to me). I feel excitable. With others, I'll consciously manipulate my face to produce expressions. Otherwise it would be quite blank.

* Eye-contact is difficult. The eyes dart all over the place too. Can be interpreted as disinterest or shiftiness.

* I stand too far away from groups. Have been in lots of trouble and bullied for it. I struggle to adhere to groups (it takes all my effort & concentration) and still get forgotten and left behind.

I have gotten in trouble for my facial expressions more times than i can count. Oncei was put on probation for a year for threatening someone when i was asking for help. Why i wasn't believed i don't know except that people sometimes assume a preson with mental illness is the guilty party. this was before my AS Dx

I feel angry about this as i do several other incidents that were mainly because of someone else assuming i was hostile.

Nora

Sometimes I think that it's NTs who have the problem, not us. They seem to read so much into the most innocuous comment or expression and take everything so personally.

I've been told by a family member that when I have a perfectly neutral expression, it looks 'hostile'. All I can say to someone who needs to be constantly reassured by an inane grin and perceives anything less as threatening and hostile is that they clearly have a deep-seated paranoia.

One part of it that made me sad was i was accompanied by my disability councilor at the school and she did not support me in this. I needed someone to vouch for my character and all she wanted to do was make me believe it was my fault for frightening the lady. That really hurt and made me feel like i had no one who understood me at all. If she sees me as a bad guy then what is happening? It undermines my self esteem to have people whi i thought were working for me tell me i'm off base when i know i am not.

At any time the woman could have got up and left her office. i never even stood up but sat in my chair the whole time. i wanted to leave but since she hadn't told me to go i thought she wanted me to wait there.

After all this another woman student told me she had been involvd with the womans son and the woman was very messed up in her opinion. Her opinion did me no good after the fact. I really needed to go talk to a lawyer at the disability right place but i was trying to forgive and forget.

I still feel sad about it. I wish i know how to let it go.
Nora