any ideas on how to make life 'happier'?

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i've tried looking through google to see what advice i can get there but all i got was a woman's page which didn't help too much, along with that the only other helpfull advice i found was to do something impulsive that's 'outside the comfort zone' (such as asking someone out on a date).

i feel like i've hit a rut in life, i sit at home all day doing nothing besides a bit of gaming or what's needed to survive and the only social activity i have is coming on here. i'd like to have something worth waking up to as recently i've woken up and stayed in bed for hours because i just haven't got any energy on a physical or emotional level and i'm starting to really want something more than this.

is there anything that makes anyone here happy that's possible for anyone else to do?

i live in a village miles from the nearest town, have money in savings but next to nothing i can spend, and am currently quite ill along with the rest of my family thanks to this going on eight week long cold.

my interests are varied but none seem to bring much happiness anymore, i want to get out and become more social (possibly asking random women out on dates as advised by the webpage) and work towards something that will get me somewhere but that's currently out of my league.


does anyone here have any tips on what to do, or what you do when you're feeling like this?
even if it's an eccentric hobby that makes you feel better that only you understand, i'm willing to try anything whether it kills some time or turns out to be my next fascination.

thanks to all who contribute, and for those who took the time to read this.

Good luck finding it online, even this place has no answers.

Lower your expectations, especially when it comes to anything wherein people are involved, and you'll never be disappointed again.

i already live life by a ''worst case senario' regime, i expect the worse so that i can brace for it when it happens, if the second worst case senario happens it feels like it's better. it's not a good way to live life in my oppinion as i'd rather have somethingto look forward to that could mess up than never looking forward to anything incase it messes up.

Sorry to hear about your depression, familiatr_stranger. For years I have struggled with depression and I know what kind of a living hell it can be. I would not wish that on you or anyone here at WrongPlanet. Regretfully, there's not much I can do to help save for offering my verbal support. I am 10 years your senior and I have perhaps a little more experience with depression and all things related to depression.

I know you don't think much of my religious beliefs but putting that aside, maybe we can interact just as two human beings.

I wish you well during this holiday season.

i may not agree with what you believe but that doesn't mean i disrespect you as a person, i wish i had a bit of faith but my mind works on a different level making it hard for me to believe in what i haven't experienced or seen first hand or what i believe ha a logical basis to it.

christmas may just be another day day to me but i wish you the best during and after.

I have learned the hard way that life sucks, then life sucks some more, then you can't die soon enough.

It is not necessary for you to die if your suffering can be alleviated while you still live. In fact, life is what allows for the possibility of change.

last night i said to myself "don't worry, in time you'll die and all this will be over." i don't like feeling like that, it wasn't a suicidal thought as it was more realism than anything else (everyone dies at some point). i've been depressed for about twelve years now and had suicidal thoughts on and off for about eight of them, even though i would like to die a painless death in my sleep sometimes (a cowards way out if you ask some people) i'd much rather live the next thirty years a happy person.

I hope you live a lot longer than that! May you have much happiness, good health, and a long life. Other than this, what does anyone really want?

The 'approaching random women' thing might not be to good of an idea. Happiness is an emotion and I'm not to good at emotions but I've found over the years that we can substitute things around a lot more easily than regular people and when I was young I found that finding what I called fullment was a lot easier than finding happiness and to me I imagined that it 'felt' the same. Do you have any deeply held interests? Is there anything in particular you've wanted to do for a very period of time, something a little wild or adventerous? Getting away from home if you still live there will be a big improvement no matter how bad it gets. Finding friends will be very hard. Finding girls will be even harder and finding girls that want to have sex will eventually become a lifelong undertaking so good luck.

all i want is to be happy and healthy, if i die at thirty i don't care as long as the time has been well spent, which is why i want something to make me feel like that.

i know how to stay healthy and how to get fit and i know what's needed to live a long life, all i need now is a way to be happy with life but so far i've come short on that.

Hi familiar_stranger,

I haven't met an Aspie who has never before felt the way you do now, so I'd think most people here know what you're going through. Sucks, doesn't it? As you might be aware right now, anything we do or suggest here may not work for you. Even if it's a good idea, at first glance it may not be very compelling but all of a sudden you'll get that spark, that sudden motivation that you just feel like you want to find out more about it. Do you know what I mean? It might be like something that you've known about all your life but were never really all that interested in it, then suddenly you hear about it or watch it on TV or something and all of a sudden it's just fascinating, like a great book that you can't put down.

I find it easiest to go to a medium that will expose you quickly to a wide range of interests... like books or TV perhaps. It might seem strange, I mean after all your goal is to get out of this rut you're in and be more social, etc., the last thing on your mind would be to plop in front of the TV! But really it's surprising, just flipping through the channels and seeing the vast array of things and activities out there, perhaps one of those things will set off that certain spark, that motivation that you need to start your life in a new direction. I was always smitten with wanderlust so I watched the Travel Channel and Discovery Channel. Admittedly I turned to swing dancing a couple years ago because I watched one of those dancing shows on TV (you're in the UK so I guess the show I watched is similar to Strictly Come Dancing, but I'm in the US so it wasn't that show, but anyway I digress), and I thought the swing dancing was interesting. I had been typically uncoordinated too and couldn't dance, so I thought it'd be great for me to remedy that finally. I had known about swing dancing for years, ever since my college days, but wasn't interested in it at all... until all of a sudden I just felt the urge to jump right in with two left feet! Swing dancing's been great, it's actually a lot more methodical and less random than I thought it was, there's a kind of system to it. Plus it's got to be one of the more social things you can possibly do, you just have to be ok with touching people and their touching you. At least you don't have to do so much talking while in the middle of a dance if you don't really feel like it, just kinda go off in your own world. Best of all swing dances don't require that you come to a dance with a date or anybody in particular; it's purely social and you don't have to hook up with anybody or be hooked up to attend and enjoy the dances.

If TV isn't your thing, then you can try a book from the library, or walking around your village and observing and talking to people you think you can trust (of course these aren't mutually exclusive, you can do all of these things). Whatever you do, try not to force it. Don't make yourself like something, don't force yourself to be motivated. That motivation will find you. You'll need a lot of patience.

Nothing is out of your league. The first thing is to identify what it is that is preventing you from reaching your goals. Money? Education? Job? Social skills? Lack of goals? Once you figure that out then you can get ideas for how to tackle that problem from what I mentioned above, from other WP posters, etc..

Good luck!

I wish I could help, but I'm just a ghost in the machine.

I think you need to perhaps challenge yourself and get out of a rut that you might be in. Go out and do some camping, hiking or even mountain climbing in some remote place. Camp out for at least a week and get away from people completely for awhile. Spill your guts to mother nature and not to other people. Learn what's it like to be by yourself for a period of time and then come back and think about being with other people. If you avatar is actually you then you won't find it a problem of finding a girl but it can't be forced to much. It just seems to happen when you least expect it.

There's this sign on my way to work:
"Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable."
There's some truth in that.